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Betrayed Menz Thread - Part 34

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Tred posted 4/30/2021 22:04 PM

Hey UAB! Glad you dropped in. I'm the same these days. Log in once a week to look at SPF and don't post much for the most part. I think of things, but then don't post them. Just where I am I guess, but life is good.

veryconfused posted 5/8/2021 22:57 PM

So, I have to ask, how many of you still suffer from flooding years later? Itís been 5 years since D day and I still flood several times a week. Iím not talking about infidelity stuff, watching your little girls dance recital, your boys soccer game, listening to a story about how your wife grew up.... some times it gets annoying.

Anyone else? Oh yea therapy didnít touch it looking for emdr.

Unhinged posted 5/20/2021 15:30 PM

veryconfused, I'd almost imagine by now you've given up on checking for replies to your post. SI has been really, really slow this last year. The pandemic is prohibiting infidelity and reduces the time people have to post.

I don't "flood" very often. It's six years later. I hardly think about the infidelity and the all the shit that came after (although lately, I've been examining my own reactions for personal reasons).

I think a part of it is PTSD, something I've yet to bring up with my new therapist. Even if it's not that, healing a broken heart takes a long time.

steadychevy posted 5/21/2021 10:07 AM

veryconfused, I don't know about flooding. If that's the same as overwhelmed, beaten down, what could have been, what should have been, dwelling then yes. Sometimes emotional.

That hasn't happened to the overwhelmed stage for some time now. That doesn't mean I don't think about her LTA. I still do. Mostly from a questioning aspect like who was she, what was she thinking and sometimes beating myself up for what I didn't do.

It was 4 years after DDay1 that we finally separated. I didn't start to heal until after she left. It was 2 1/2 years later the D was final. I still see her. We have 3 daughters and 10 grandchildren. I rent the land she got in the divorce from her for pasture for the cattle. There will never be a complete and total separation so she will always be in my life to some extent.

It does get better, though, veryconfused. I didn't look at your profile so I don't know your situation. I should have before I posted but didn't. The greatest cause of my anguish, pain and not healing was seeing her everyday. Things started to get better a couple months after the separation.

I also started with a new IC 4 months after the separation. I looked for an IC that specifically dealt with trauma of different sorts and was a Christian. The one I found had suffered from PTSD herself and was trained in EMDR. I don't think the EMDR worked that well on me but her other methods did.

Hang in there, brother. Look after yourself. Do what you need to do to heal you.

steadychevy posted 5/22/2021 06:14 AM

NHL hockey. I didn't care much for the shortened season or the covid driven division structure or not having games across the whole league.

But now the Stanley Cup playoffs have started. My Oilers had a good season. BUT they are down 2 in a best of 5 against the Jets on home ice. What is this? 3 and out? Another early golf season with the 2 best players in the league?

Unhinged posted 5/23/2021 17:55 PM

Let's Go Blues!

steadychevy posted 5/23/2021 19:41 PM

I was wrong. First round is best of 7. Phew. Oilers leading Jets after 1st period.

steadychevy posted 5/24/2021 07:46 AM

Oilers blow a big lead in the third period and lose in OT. One more to go Oilers and you can go golf, too. Yeah, Blues out, Unhinged.

steadychevy posted 5/25/2021 07:02 AM

Bye bye, Oil. Out in 4. Swept.

Unhinged posted 5/25/2021 08:35 AM

I'd say the Avs have a good chance at getting to finals.

Brew3x posted 5/26/2021 08:58 AM

Watch out for the Bruins

Tred posted 5/28/2021 22:27 PM

The first round has been interesting. Bruins were a no brainer over the Caps. Tampa with Kucherov was too much for Florida. Pitt was a mild surprise loss to the Ilse's, as was the Jets over Edmonton. I'll be interested in seeing how the teams play once the reseeding is done and teams face opponents they haven't seen all year.

Unhinged posted 5/29/2021 12:18 PM

Bruins Schmuins!!!

[This message edited by Unhinged at 12:20 PM, May 29th, 2021 (Saturday)]

steadychevy posted 5/29/2021 15:44 PM

It will be interesting, Tred, when they play teams they haven't played this season.

sisoon posted 5/31/2021 12:24 PM

I used to walk around with Bobby Orr's autograph in my wallet.

Alas, one day, while on a gig in CO, I put my wallet into the washing machine, and the ink got washed away.

I was a Bruins (pronounced 'brunes', BTW) during the late '50s and early '60s. I'm happy if they win more than one game in a week. Their playoff wins ... their many, many playoff wins ... since then have been very, very satisfying.

Take that, fans of expansion teams!

I've been interested in another sport over the past few weeks. I am not a fan of Egan Bernal. I hope he blows up in the Tour of France.

Unhinged posted 5/31/2021 21:56 PM

If the Avalanche and Hurricanes meet in the finals it's going to be a disaster.

steadychevy posted 5/31/2021 23:27 PM

Naturally, Unhinged. It'll be a wipeout either way. Horrendous.

Incarnate posted 6/4/2021 15:24 PM

Hey guys. It's been a hot minute. I just posted an update in New Beginnings. Rather than copy/pasting, I'll just drop a link to it here.

https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=653795

I hope y'all are well.

WearingTheHorns posted 6/8/2021 06:11 AM

You know, one of my "favorite" things about going through all of this, even years later is the way it pops up in unexpected ways. A few months ago WW and I decided to spend one Saturday a month just doing something together. Just anything. For May since we had a long weekend, I suggested we take the whole weekend and go somewhere. I remembered years ago we'd talked about going to Hot Springs, AR. I figured it was a great idea since at the time we both really wanted to go. When I bring it up, she says we've been there.
Me: No we haven't.
Her:Yes we have.
Me: I've never been to Hot Springs.
Her: Oh.
So after more discussion it's left up in the air. A couple of days later, and she says a co-worker (she works in a small office, all women) tells her there's a serial killer on the loose in the Hot Springs area so going there is out. Well, a quick online search shows that's just rumor. There was a recent murder in the area, but nothing to indicate a serial killer.

Upshot, we went to OK ( which spending three days in OK is a bigger deal for a Texan than most of you realize although we did have a good time), and now I'm left wondering when, and who did she go to Hot Springs with since she's so convinced she (or at least "we" as she claims to remember) has been there. It's possible she's mistaken, but you know, there's always going to be that doubt.

steadychevy posted 6/9/2021 10:56 AM

Well that's crap, WTH. Are you going to press her on it? I think she knows.

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