Between you, me, and mental illness
As much as I would love to say that there is a great reconciliation, I can not. My life is good., I feel blessed, I have a cute little kitten attacking my fingers as I type, kids are healthy, yet there is a great sadness years later.
My WS has not been able to be there for me in much of any way. Anxiety. Honestly I don’t mind dealing with it and being supportive in her work or personal life. I just long for the day when she decides that the "I’m a big girl and I just need to hike up my panties and deal" goes away. It is okay for our daughter to be on medication and see a therapist. In fact, it was highly suggested by her. What’s good for the goose is not good for the gander. End tangent…
To the point, the affair doesn’t bother me much any more beyond the odd trigger. However, the fact that my WS hasn’t been there for me much does. In fact, it is to the point of losing attraction.
I guess I’m just sharing with a group than can understand…
8 comments posted: Thursday, June 9th, 2022
The ghost of seasons past
I find it interesting, 6 years out and I am spending more time reading and posting here than in years. Some of this is a want to return some value to others following behind.
The other half seems to be a search for something. I am not sure what it is, but I just feel like I am missing something. It’s like the ethereal wisp of a vapor which can be seen in your peripheral vision, that disappears when you turn to look.
7 comments posted: Saturday, February 26th, 2022
The things they say
I have to admit, I was caught off guard and absolutely flabbergasted! We are helping a young mom and her family as she goes through a divorce from her cheating husband. Now I am proud of WW for taking this on and helping out this mom so much.
Here I s the catch! My WW has not been able to be there for me due to any number of reasons. Yet she can be amazing for everyone else. I mentioned to her that I might be out of sorts for a bit because it does piss me off.
Per the normal this kicked in some of the anxiety and defense factors, though the conversation was emotional, it was very civil. Anyway, the reason she can not be there for me is because the person who hurt me so bad is still inside her,
I had thought I had seen it all!
10 comments posted: Sunday, May 30th, 2021
Hi everyone! It has been a few years since my last post. I find myself looking for the wisdom of the members. I guess, the brief synopsis is that the day was five years ago. In that time I have worked hard on myself. My wife, not so much.
As I was driving to work today, a sudden thought crossed my mind. I was vulnerable! I do not mean emotionally to her, but to another woman. There is not one that I am looking at, There is not one waiting in the wings, there is no one at all! In fact, I keep myself away from those situations in order to make sure that I do not cost the same thing to my wife. Not to mention, cheating is not my style.
Nonetheless, I can feel that soft spot. Maybe it is just the Covid isolation speaking, Or it could be d day Five year anniversary coming up. My internal sense, tells me that it’s not it though.
No I have not spoken to my wife yet. Thoughts? Recommendations? Thank you All for your help in the past, the present, and the future.
2 comments posted: Friday, February 26th, 2021