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Betrayed Womenz Thread

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20yrsagoBS ( Member #55272) posted at 12:20 AM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

He gets so pissed when I tell him he should have confided in me so I could divorce him instead of cheating.

Why is that so bad?

Divorce IS much easier than being cheated on

BW, 54 WH 53
When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2101   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8454783
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cocoplus5nuts ( Member #45796) posted at 12:26 AM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

Because he doesn't want a D? He wants to eat cake.

Does he want R? He thinks it's been so long that it doesn't matter, you shouldn't care?

LH, I forgot to answer your question about the fiber festival. I get to see and touch and buy handdyed yarn. We also got to see the different breeds of sheep that provide the different types of wool. Oh, and alpaca and those really fluffy, long-haired rabbits. I wonder if I can share a pic of my yarn.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8454785
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cocoplus5nuts ( Member #45796) posted at 12:33 AM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

This is what I got at the festival. It's called Highway to Hell, dyed by Wool & Vinyl. My 12 year old picked it out. I was going to make him socks, but he said he wants gloves so he can show them off to his friend. (Sorry the image is so big.)

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8454786
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EllieKMAS ( Member #68900) posted at 3:13 AM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

They all need a massive KITD. I think that should be a once a month activity just on general principles for a WH/WBF.

Pretty yarn!! I always wanted to learn how to knit or crochet... I don't have the patience for it tho.

House is clean. Steam cleaned the carpets. Cooked actual food for myself. I won at adulting today.

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3138   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8454831
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Lostheart8 ( Member #71607) posted at 3:20 AM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

20yrs ...say to again sister. I would take ending a relationship over cheating any day. At least I could think the guy had balls.

Coco ....omg ...that is beautiful yarn. Sounds like fun. I would go just for the sheep. Can you post a pic of final version of gloves?

Ellie...congrats on being an adult. Can you come and clean my place?

Well tonight’s meetup group went really well. I met some nice people and had some good laughs. What a treat for me. Omg I’m not a shut in and actually got out!

posts: 162   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2019
id 8454833
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cocoplus5nuts ( Member #45796) posted at 3:59 AM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

LH, glad you had a good time. That's what life should be about.

I don't know if I'll be able to post a pic of the finished gloves. I haven't figured out how to post a pic that isn't already on the web. I can take them from websites, but I can't get them from any of my online photo storage accounts.

I just check the moon phase because I was wondering what seems to have gotten us all worked up now. Doesn't seem to fit. It's waxing fibrous, about to be the 3rd quarter, 7th phase, tomorrow. (I think I remembered all of that correctly. I'm no expert, for sure!). That phase represents release, forgiveness, getting over all the hurts we've been subjected to during the previous phases. I don't think that's what is happening here. 😂

Pretty yarn!!

Thanks. It wasn't my choice. Too much pink for me, but my boy likes it. I got a colorway called, There's a Bad Moon on the Rise. All of this dyers colorways have rock and roll themed names.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8454848
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EllieKMAS ( Member #68900) posted at 5:02 AM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

KITD KITD KITD

Fuckin freeloading arsehole of an ex gave my netflix logon to his gd sister to use and she set up a new profile for her kids.... WTF. Like seriously WTAF.

Already changed all my logon info, email, signed off all devices. But seriously.

I am really annoyed by this. Disproportionately so.

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3138   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8454864
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gmc94 ( Member #62810) posted at 12:41 PM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

That phase represents release, forgiveness, getting over all the hurts we've been subjected to during the previous phases. I don't think that's what is happening here. 😂

bahahahaha! Maybe this is release (of anger), forgiveness (of ourselves) and getting over the hurts (by getting angry)?

I managed to cool off last nite and feel more calm today.

I’m gonna count it as a “win” bc the timing IS getting shorter. 6 months ago I’d be on my pissed ofc high horse for at least a week. KWIM?

And 20yrs- WG being PO’d about confiding in you vs. D? WTF? HE is the one PO’d? 🤦‍♀️

M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived

It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies

posts: 3365   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2018
id 8454929
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cocoplus5nuts ( Member #45796) posted at 2:42 PM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

bahahahaha! Maybe this is release (of anger), forgiveness (of ourselves) and getting over the hurts (by getting angry)?

That did occur to me.

I had to step away from another thread because I was getting so annoyed. Some people are so, what is the word? Not exactly self-absorbed. Self-righteous? Yeah, I think that's it. They are right no matter what anyone else says, even when the OP are describing their own different experiences. It's like the idea that the privileged don't get to decide what is and is not offensive or oppressive or discriminatory toward the underprivileged.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8454972
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Lostheart8 ( Member #71607) posted at 3:49 PM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

Coco....that moon phase thingy ain’t working.

Remember a long time ago....a wife multiply ran over her WH as he left the hotel with OW? Before all of this, I couldn’t get that type of anger. I’ll never be into violence but I can see how this would snap someone. Wanda Stykes did a comedy segment on it....now I can laugh with a new view on it.

Yup, that moon phase thing ain’t working.

Ellie....stupid douchebag. Wtf is wrong with people thinking process?

Congrats GMC. You’re separating yourself from this guy. Go girl!

Ok...I have no idea if this will lead to a date. Last night at meetup dinner, I met a nice guy. I enjoyed the way he holds hisself and his conversation. I was on the fence about giving him my number. It’s not like I’m prime dating material. Anyhoo, he emailed me through the meetup system about enjoying my conversation. I emailed him back if he wanted to meet for coffee, I would love it.

Now wait and see. Take that mr douchebag!

posts: 162   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2019
id 8454993
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cocoplus5nuts ( Member #45796) posted at 4:06 PM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

Coco....that moon phase thingy ain’t working.

Ooooh, a possible date with a new guy. Exciting!

Yes, I remember that case of the woman running over her husband. He was horribly abusive toward her. She went through all kinds of plastic surgery and exercising to try to meet his standards of beauty. I think he told her she was old, fat, and ugly.

Not that I think anyone deserves to be murdered, but why don't these cheaters think about that sort of thing? It just astounds me. You read about it all the time. There was a case in my neighborhood re entry. A man shot his wife, another man, and himself. Hmm...love triangle, maybe?

Even if you are sure that your spouse would never do anything like that, you don't know the AP. You are putting your entire family's lives in danger. Your children, for God's sake!

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8454997
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DaisyAnne ( Member #71434) posted at 4:08 PM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

He gets so pissed when I tell him he should have confided in me so I could divorce him instead of cheating.

Why is that so bad?

Divorce IS much easier than being cheated on

Without a doubt! The other night WH told me while he can not guarantee me that we will be together forever (who can?), he can guarantee me that he will never cheat on me again. He can not hurt me like this again. If he’s feels that he is completely unhappy in our marriage and can’t stay with me, he will leave and divorce.

Of course I still can’t trust him, but I do believe he believes that. At least right now.

Me: BW - early 40's
Him: WH - late 40's
Married: 18 years, together 24
2 teenage children
Dday: 5/23/19
Reconciling

posts: 241   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2019
id 8454998
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Lostheart8 ( Member #71607) posted at 6:14 PM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

I got asked out!

Squeal....running around like a kid. Thanks universe ...I needed the boost.

Daisy ... hope hits home for him. It’s just the decent thing to do.

posts: 162   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2019
id 8455040
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marji ( Member #49356) posted at 8:50 PM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

Coco The yarn is gorgeous. I knit too and love making socks-are you on Ravelry? if so, do have you photos of your work posted there? I wonder if it would be easy to get a photo from Ravelry -the website-to SI so you could show us the gloves when finished.

And so sweet and awesome that your son is so proud and happy to show your handiwork.

posts: 2230   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2015   ·   location: NYC
id 8455099
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cocoplus5nuts ( Member #45796) posted at 8:51 PM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

Woot woot, LH!

I do believe he believes that

Maybe just caution him on this. I bet he thought before that he would never cheat on the first place. My fch always said he would never cheat. Cheating was so wr0ng! Blah,blah,blah. Obviously, that didn't work out.

He can't just decide that. He needs to take actions to make himself safe.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8455100
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20yrsagoBS ( Member #55272) posted at 9:14 PM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

My WH says the fallout from cheating the last time isn’t worth the things he thought he got from his affair

Ha! You think?

BW, 54 WH 53
When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2101   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8455109
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heartbroken83 ( Member #71395) posted at 9:46 PM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

Just caught up! you guys have been busy here. I have barely been able to keep up with you much less read other post but it sounds like that might be for the better.

I have had a good weekend. Hoping the Eagles beat the Cowboys in tonight's game. That will put hubby in a really good mood and I may get some lol. Sometimes I feel like he is not into me sexually as I am for him. He chalks it up to he's tired but I thought men always wanted sex. I think we switched rolls in this marriage. I was ok with that before the affair but now it makes me feel some sort of way.

I have a great session at therapy the other night. Brought some things into perspective. I just need to find time to sit with husband to talk with him about it all. I think I am going to write a letter and then have him read it in front of me or read it to him. Then we can talk about it. Every time we try to talk and I don't have notes I forget everything I wanted to say. Is this a good option or is it childish to write a letter? advice appreciated...

The weekend went way too fast but this week definitely has to be less chaotic than the last.

posts: 147   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2019   ·   location: CT
id 8455119
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DaisyAnne ( Member #71434) posted at 10:10 PM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

Maybe just caution him on this. I bet he thought before that he would never cheat on the first place.

He can't just decide that. He needs to take actions to make himself safe.

Oh absolutely! I believe he believes this right now. I know it doesn’t mean it may not happen again in the future. Also, the difference now is that he knows exactly the pain and heartbreak that he has caused with the cheating.

Me: BW - early 40's
Him: WH - late 40's
Married: 18 years, together 24
2 teenage children
Dday: 5/23/19
Reconciling

posts: 241   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2019
id 8455130
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AmIAnIdiot15 ( Member #71023) posted at 11:27 PM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

You guys HAVE been busy. I ran away overnight to get away from my to do list and my 17 year old. Drove up to surprise my husband, even though he'll be home tonight. He works 3 hours away, so it's not the worst drive, but it is a ways.

I did NOT go into the gas station where the OW works, but I absolutely did snoop through the apartment he sleeps at when he's at work! Didn't find anything suspicious. I think he's really done with her, but I'll never really know will I? Infidelity, the gift that keeps on screwing with your head.

HB83, I make notes on my phone to make sure we discuss the things I need.

posts: 81   ·   registered: Jul. 16th, 2019   ·   location: CO
id 8455151
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cocoplus5nuts ( Member #45796) posted at 11:43 PM on Sunday, October 20th, 2019

HB, that's not childish at all. That's actually a way of communicating that therapists recommend sometimes. Some people are better at absorbing what you're saying if they can read it rather than hear it. I make notes of things I want to talk to my fch about all the time.

Marji, I am in ravelry. I can try that. I think you may have to have a ravelry account to see what's on there, though.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8455160
Topic is Sleeping.
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