Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

more information about cookies...

Return to Forum List

Return to New Beginnings

SurvivingInfidelity.com® > New Beginnings

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

I am engaged

Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

ohforanewme posted 4/18/2019 06:25 AM


Doesn’t that word have a wonderful ring (pardon the pun) to it? I find myself looking for every opportunity to use it. “Allow me to introduce my fiancé”. “I think that my fiancé might have made a reservation. “I will need to first check with my fiancé”.

And yes, my fiancé is MMS. Miracle of miracles, she said yes.

Getting up the courage was no small matter. Firstly, long before we were an item, at the time that we were just coffee buddies, I mentioned that, despite my experience with love and marriage, I hoped that a happy marriage was still in my future. She came out quite strongly that she did not believe in marriage, and in any event, my marriage had not given me any more protection from the devastation of infidelity than her relationship arrangement had given her. I knew that if I asked the question and the answer were no, my heart would not survive the hurt.

Then there was the small matter of my health situation. While I passionately wanted her to be my wife and Sunshine to become my adopted daughter, I hoped that this desire was driven by the deepest and purest love a man had ever had, but worried that it was possibly the most selfish thing any man in my position could ever do. Invite someone to twin their life with you, just to then go and leave them, in the most permanent way, a little while later.

I dealt with these in what I think is a rather innovative way. Since February there were a few things that I desperately wanted to do. The proposing being the top of this list. So, one Sunday I took her for a walk, explained to her that, over the past year, she had become my trusted partner in every aspect of my life. That there were some things that I was struggling with and needed my partner’s help to decide on how best they could be done. We discussed my list and obviously, she came up with the perfect approach for each, and then I said that there was one more. I explained about not being certain about the thing being driven by purest love or blind selfishness. I then asked that if I ever got up the courage to ask her to marry me, what her answer might be.

After first calling me a “bloody sneaky bugger”, she said that if ever I asked, the answer would be, yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

As most of you know, the surgeon who removed the lump from my neck, and told us quite directly that it was so obviously ugly that he knew it was serious, but that in his years of experience with these things, the folk with the best survival chances were those who had a strong loving support structure around them, and then clear goals to live for. He said that from what he saw around my bed, it was clear that I had the first well covered, so all we needed to work on was the goals. From the D/S thread, you will know that we have done pretty well on the 2nd as well. And a just completed trip to Europe, this time just for MMS and I, was one of those.

This one was a little different to the previous ones. As I said, this one was just the 2 of us. It was longer than most. In some respects, it was even more over the top than any of the previous ones. But also, this one was all about bucket list things, and sharing each of our very favourite, secret places with the other.

This one was about seeing the tulip fields in the Netherlands, standing on a Normandy beech at sunset as a lone bugler played the last post, eating waffles in Belgium and crepes in France, taking a kissing selfie up the Eifel tower. Seeing Keukenhof at its best. Sitting in the very garden that inspired Monet’s “waterlilies”. Sharing my secret “locals only” favourite restaurant in Amsterdam and her repaying the favour with brasserie in Paris where on a Saturday midmorning, it was just her and I.

What could be a more perfect opportunity for me to ask the question. Any of the above locations could have offered the perfect setting for me to ask my question. But I did not want anything else to intrude in our special moment, so I waited to the very end of the trip and we made a pilgrimage to Delft. In Delft, there is a tiny coffee shop, at the front of a family run hotel. It overlooks a sidewalk and then a canal. It has only 2 tables. Each with just a 2-seater couch and 2 chairs. It was a place that we had all fallen in love with on our December trip. It was perfect. I asked. She answered, yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

I never believed that life could ever be this good. I wish that there were some way that I could generously share this around SI. It is criminal for just one man to have this much happiness.

OuttaCoffee posted 4/18/2019 06:58 AM

Congratulations, I wish you two the best!!! From new beginnings to new adventures.

CharliB posted 4/18/2019 07:03 AM

You have reduced me to mush.
I cannot stop the happy tears from streaming down my face!
No one is more deserving of this happiness than you!!
This is by far the most encouraging story I have ever read on SI !!
Bravo! Standing ovation from me!

BrokenheartedUK posted 4/18/2019 07:06 AM

I can't heart this enough. You deserve so much happiness and I'm incredibly happy that you've found it. Long may it last!!

hcsv posted 4/18/2019 07:10 AM

I have the greatest hope that this new journey will be incredibly long and the most beautiful trip ever.


Adlham posted 4/18/2019 07:21 AM

Congratulations, OhFor! You deserve to be so happy that it's criminal!

What excellent news to wake up to!

WhoTheBleep posted 4/18/2019 07:57 AM

Word for word what CharliB said.

I can feel your happiness from half the globe away!! You deserve every bit if it. Talk about a positive new beginning story.

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 7:57 AM, April 18th (Thursday)]

Furious1 posted 4/18/2019 07:59 AM

Congratulations! I am so happy for both of you!

Williesmom posted 4/18/2019 08:01 AM

I'm so happy for you.

ErinHa posted 4/18/2019 08:08 AM

This is great news, you have such a positive and loving outlook on life that finding love does not surprise me!

Enjoy your life together!

nothisfriend posted 4/18/2019 08:22 AM

So very very happy for you and your wonderful family!

lieshurt posted 4/18/2019 08:34 AM

Congratulations!!! I'm so very happy for you.

josiep posted 4/18/2019 08:46 AM

I feel the need to be totally silly and was trying to compose a poem.

I have no idea why I reverted to copying a song format but here ya go:

Wedding bells, are you listening?

Ohfor popped the question.

A beautiful ring

They make their love sing

Sitting in a cafe by the Delft.

Or, perhaps we could just slide right into a little Otis:
Sitting on the edge of the Delft

Hey, I've got stuff to do, will work on this more later.


josiep posted 4/18/2019 08:47 AM

P.S. I'm so happy for you, I've gotten positively giddy. Now I'll be singing that silly song in my head all day and then I'll be chastising you cuz it must be your fault.

But really, I am so very happy to get your wonderful news and I just want to dance.

Girls, they just want to have fun.

Goin' to the Chapel.......

Odonna posted 4/18/2019 09:06 AM


I have watched every step along the way as you struggled, thought, cared for your family and extended it, and did good deeds for others, all with tremendous introspection and insight. And along the way you got out of infidelity and ignited a new romance with an amazing lady. I admire you and am so very happy for you! May the skies ahead of you be varied but all magical!


Newlease posted 4/18/2019 09:21 AM

Congratulations! I am so happy for you!

We must all strive to live for today and grab on to any happiness that comes our way. Thank you for exemplifying this for us.


ohforanewme posted 4/18/2019 09:26 AM

Thanks all!

I just can't wipe this smile from my face. But then again, why should I.

Stevesn posted 4/18/2019 11:50 AM

I’m a thousand times happy for both (all) of you.

It’s been an honor to be on this journey with you in even a small way.

Zamboni posted 4/18/2019 13:41 PM

Congratulations, Ohfor!! I wish you many years of much deserved happiness!!

Skan posted 4/18/2019 14:15 PM

Words cannot express how very happy I am for all of you! (((hugs)))

Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

Return to Forum List

Return to New Beginnings

© 2002-2021 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.     Privacy Policy