Newest Member: BallofAnxiety

ohforanewme

I am engaged update

I intended to post this to my previous thread but found that it has been closed.

I think it appropriate that I post an update to my "I am engaged" thread.

I know first hand want an incredible place this is. Truly the most caring community. Folk who actually take an interest in you and what is happening in your life. I apologise to all of those who have shown such concern for me, for any worry that my extended absence has caused. I have had a run of tough weeks.

In late May, MMS took me to a little patch of heaven. It is a place we visited early last year. I attempted to describe it in a thread of Mrs Life that I was contributing to at that time.

You know that you have found an incredible life partner when you can spend a week together, isolated in nature. In a croft. Secluded half way up a mountainside. Just the two of you. No TV, no internet, no cell signal. The only entertainment at night, watching the flames in the fireplace, and each other’s conversation. And when the week is over, you wish it had just begun. It was bliss. We made plans for the future, reflected on the past 2 years. Had the opportunity to honestly thank each other for all that we have been able to share and do. And made wedding plans.

Thankfully that was as good as it was because soon after we got back I caught an early season flu which had me flat for several weeks. I was just feeling better by Father’s Day weekend. Over here, the Monday after Father’s Day Sunday was a pubic holiday, so my crew decided to make it a 3-day Father’s Day for me. Boy was I spoiled. Has to be my best Father’s Day ever. The thought crossed my mind that they were thinking that they don’t know how many more Father’s Days they will have with me so they were going to give this one all they had. And to crown it, I was given the best Father’s Day present I think any father has ever been given, and it was not even from one of my kids. It was from DDF, some of you might remember her. The young girl who had been abandoned by her dad on her 18th birthday, and who I then helped to get a place at university for the specialised course she wanted to study.

Again, thankfully my Father’s Day was that good. The week that followed was hell. A new oncologist has joined my care team. He is an academic research professor. His special area of interest is palliative cancer care. He requested a whole range of additional blood and urine tests in an attempt to locate the primary site of my cancer. Those took up that next week. One required 3 days of restricted diet. That also meant no painkillers. As luck would have it. I suffered severe headaches over those 3 days. No fun I tell you. My only comfort was a heated bean bag against the neck and temples. But I survived that.

The test confirmed NETs, but we were no closer to identifying the primary site. So the doc suggested that I undergo another, extensive MRI. I spent an inordinate amount of time in that damn narrow tube, with ship builders hammering in rivets all around my head. Not fun for anyone, but sheer terror for a claustrophobic. I was dreading it. Reached out to some folk, and through the collective of good vibes, mojo, and prayers, I made it through without panic. Completely calm in fact.

Unfortunately, I received an email from the doc late this last Sunday. Nothing showed up, so now he wants me to have a capsule endoscopy and then an MIBG scan. That last one is another nuclear scan with more radioactive poison injected in your veins. Thing is, this is potentially more damaging radioactive stuff and it can take up to 3 consecutive days in that damn, noisy, narrow tube.

So yes, my life continues to be interesting, but this is NB. This is supposed to be where we post good news that lifts the spirits, so; let’s forget all of that and get onto the important stuff. I am not married yet. For me, every day I wake up and say to her, “Lets make it today!” You see, I want to die a happily married man. She stubbornly refuses. She says that she is not stupid. Will not give me any excuse to throw in the towel early. It is as important to her, and she wants it to be everything that she has ever dreamed it to be. (and that from a woman that in the early stages, when we were still just “rescued, incompetent shopper”, and “coffee friend”, told me that she had no interest in marriage, “What, after all, protection did being married give you from infidelity?”). It must be on a day that holds significance to us. We must be surrounded by friends. We must be surrounded by beauty.

So, what do we have? The dress has been chosen. I have been told, by the collective womanhood, that it is beautiful, but I am not allowed to see it. We have the venue. It will be a destination wedding. In the mountains. We will be surrounded by our growing circle of friends, and those who have become family to us like J. The date? Well, she wanted September 1. The official start of our spring. Such a powerful symbol of all things new and vibrant. The problem with that is that many, many years ago I made a commitment to DD to do a rather special Dad and Daughter adventure when she turns 18. 18 is a very special birthday down here. Legal driving age. Legal drinking age. Legal voting age. Age of legal majority. Despite my health issue, DD is not letting me off on that one either, so over the end of August and the first weeks of September, DD and I will be embarking on an adventure of epic proportions. One bucket list item after the other. Because of my heath, we have had to forgo our original planned destination. It would have required multiple flight connections, very long flights, a significant time difference, and the most challenging, dad doing long distances on a motorcycle. We have had to make compromises, and special arrangements. We will fly business class. The flight time will be around 8 hours. No time difference. I will have wheelchair assistance through the airports. We will have a private driver throughout the trip. But we both agree that what we have come up with in not only easily equivalent to what the original was, but way, way better.

And we still don’t have a date.

Will let you know as soon as we do. Promise.

88 comments posted: Thursday, July 18th, 2019

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