SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I hate this for you...I almost posted a pic saying how much....

DarkHole, I'm really enjoying this thread. It is awesome that you can use all your evidence in the divorce, and it would be such sweet justice if her AP testifies against her.

Some folks don't agree with playing mind games with the wayward like you are, and say it's a waste of energy, be indifferent, the best revenge is a life well lived, etc. That's great for them, but not all of us are cut out like that. We can't just shut our emotions off. We want to see a bit of justice.

I wish you much success in screwing her over.

LizM, I hope that it doesn't come to that - showing all that evidence in court.

We are planning to present her with amicable divorce papers (don't know exact legal terms in English) with children custody going to me. And present her with an alternative - I'm going to court with request to terminate marriage on the grounds of infidelity (costs 10 times more, etc). With all the evidence, her sex with AP#3 sounds, her revelations of enjoying watching horse/woman sex, play in court room. Also, starting investigation of inappropriate usage of government facilities (phone and office) (this one is not as scary here as it probably is in US). With an option to leak such information to the press.

I don't really play mind games with her because it is fun, I do this to remain undercover, so that divorce papers are unexpected. I hate every second of it. I can feel almost physically that it is my time and energy that is being wasted now.

But oh yes, I would like to see some justice served...

And - thanks!

Edited out unnecessary info.

[This message edited by DarkHoleHeart at 8:30 AM, July 17th (Monday)]

When will you be able to have her served with the divorce papers? It would be epic if you could have her served while she is meeting with her AP.

Will you reveal your info source after you are divorced? I'm curious what it is.

Going home now to serve papers.

Wish me luck.

Wishing you strength.

Sending strength...you got this!

DHH

You and I are walking this path together. Just knowing that one has good company makes it a little easier.

I admire you clarity of thought and determination even in the toughest times. If ever I went to war I would want you on my platoon.

Stay strong. It is the only way that we can ever begin to craft a future for ourselves and those we love.

Stay strong. You have it in you.

Welcome to hell, DHH.

She didn't even look at the papers.

"Kids are staying with me".

She won't even go to a lawyer to discuss options.

So I'm going to court :(

While her head is in the clouds with her boyfriend, hit her HARD. You've had a chance to strategize and lawyer up. Do EVERYTHING that he tells you to.

She will not, she doesn't understand that emotion isn't the leading factor at this point.

Be cool and polite to her, if she asks to talk about it just let her know that you are too emotionally tied to this marriage and you'd prefer her speak with your lawyer about this.

I'm hoping all the evidence you gathered can be used in court where you lived.

Hopefully the court system there is one that moves swiftly.

What Sharkman said, listen to your lawyer and don't go stupid and do something impulsive. For the meantime, this is strictly business, no emotion. Get the details handled, negotiate the best "deal", and be wary of getting sucked into reactions and responses that don't serve your end objective.

So I'm going to court

I'm sorry.

I echo Sharkman's advice.

This is war, my friend. Put on the camouflage(put on a brave face in front of her), and bring out the big guns.

You will get through this and you will not only survive, but thrive. I have a very good feeling that you will be awarded custody of your children.

Your WW just dug her own grave. Be patient and let your lawyer handle this. And of course, we are here for you...let those feelings out here.

Sending strength...

DHH. I've not posted on your thread but have been following it.

I'm so sorry your wife has chosen to betray you and your marraige and your children.

I am posting on your thread now to express my sorrows for your situation and to encourage you to keep posting here for the help you need.

However I am also posting to warn you to be much more careful about what you post.

Further back in this thread you mentioned that your wayward spouse knows you are on this site and had possibly checked out your own posts in the past. You said you were certain that she was no longer doing so.

Well, she will now. For certain. Please protect yourself from her and her skewed cheating self absorbed and selfish mindset by being a bit more cautious in your posts.

You can always use the pm feature here to ask a member you trust for help or said member could even start a thread for you to get feedback from the insightful posters on this forum that have been where you are.

I send you and your children all the strength I have to give

Thank you all for your support!

I will be heading to divorce section, but will probably do occasional updates here.

I won't be posting my strategy and plans, just like 4kids suggested (even though I don't think WW ever visited SI).

I sent AP#3 (current) e-mail notifying him of my STD diagnosis and that WW knew it when she tried to have sex with him.

OK, so her first initial emotional reaction subsided a bit.

Over the weekend she was almost begging me to give her another chance. I said that I don't see any way that this could work for us. She was already given her last chance and she blew it.

She still refuses to sign any agreement that leaves the kids to me.

We are discussing an option, where we split the kids (twins stay with me, little one goes with her) and buy second house somewhere nearby (there's one just across the street) to minimize impact to the kids (both mum and dad are always close by, sisters can see each other whenever they like).

I figure that it would probably be better to spend next 2-5 years finishing and furnishing the house instead of fighting in court and spending money on lawyers. Even with all my proof and background (I'm the main person looking after the kids) I probably have less that 30% chance to win full custody.

Your thoughts on this? Or maybe this question belongs to divorce/separation...

Over the weekend she was almost begging me to give her another chance.

Did you present her with the evidence you had collected? What were her excuses for what she had done?

Her excuse?

Firs, when she was not begging, then it was "you acted like psycho last half a year (i.e. since DDay#1), I just couldn't take it, all that controlling, all that paranoia..."

Then when she started begging, it transformed to something like this: "I don't know what I was doing, it is so stupid, it was a mistake, please, give me one more chance, FOR THE KIDS, I have been faithful for 14 years, this last year is some kind of nonsense, etc."

Edit: forgot to add - yes, I did play her several seconds of their sex recording. Don't want to go into legal details, it is more complicated than my lawyer told me (if I go to the court, probably will have to change lawyers).

[This message edited by DarkHoleHeart at 6:47 AM, July 18th (Tuesday)]

I probably have less that 30% chance to win full custody.

I don't know how they do things in your country, but I'm guessing you're about right on the chances.

What was her reaction to the recording?

Having her across the street sounds sounds too close to me. Do you want her eyeing your place and every woman that comes in?