lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 6:29 PM on Friday, October 21st, 2016
Sending you lots of love DS & MH.
And on that note, who better than you guys to dedicate my 15,000 post to.
Love you bunches. (((DS & MH))) 
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
sadcat ( member #8637) posted at 11:57 PM on Friday, October 21st, 2016
Go get 'em DS! Thinking of you and sending strength!
Never let your fear decide your fate.....AWOLNATION
If this isn't what I consider soulmate crap, I don't know what is.
persevere ( member #31468) posted at 1:36 AM on Saturday, October 22nd, 2016
Shots of tequila and lots of love coming your way lady! To both DS and MH! <3
You are amazing in heart and soul - you got this. <3 :) And you have so much love behind you.
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
Hope24 ( member #9344) posted at 2:00 AM on Tuesday, October 25th, 2016
Thinking of you, dear DS.
❤️❤️❤️
She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.
Briseis ( member #47825) posted at 2:05 PM on Tuesday, October 25th, 2016
Hoping for all the good things . . . .
<3
BW/MH (me): b 1979
WH: b 1976
Married 2001
1 DS
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:42 PM on Tuesday, October 25th, 2016
Still thinking of you, DS, and sending love and encouragement.
I can't imagine that an experimental treatment can be pleasant, but if it works, it'll be worth it.
(((DS))) (((DSMH)))
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
MissesJai ( member #24849) posted at 11:36 PM on Tuesday, October 25th, 2016
thinking of you and MH.... Love you tons....
44
Happily divorcing..
My Life is Mine!!!!
#BlackLivesMatter
Don't settle for no fuck shit....
atalosss ( member #47882) posted at 4:55 AM on Friday, October 28th, 2016
{{{DS}}} hope you are well 💕
"You can't ride two horses with one ass" Channel66
NaiveAgain ( member #20849) posted at 11:59 AM on Friday, October 28th, 2016
Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.
DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 12:10 PM on Friday, October 28th, 2016
Praying that both of you are doing ok.
Sending love and mojo.
((((((DS & MH)))))
Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.
Deeply Scared (original poster administrator #2) posted at 6:17 PM on Sunday, October 30th, 2016
I thought this would be a good time to do an update....its a long one.
I had my first round of the TD (Trial Drug) on Thursday, the 20th at the main MD Anderson campus. Overall, it's not much different than the first round of chemo back in May. MH and I had to wait ar least 4 hours for any type of reaction afterwards.
We went home that afternoon. On Friday, the 21st, we had to go back down to the main campus for lab work and my blood panel. Apparently my Creatinine numbers were high and indicating Renal failure with my kidneys. I was admitted into the ER right then and was up in a private room by dinner time. Poor MH...we had no idea I was even sick...I felt fine except my legs grew into trees trunks holding30 lbs of water I was retaining.
Saturday, the 22nd came and went and I layed in bed in excruciating pain that I was doped up for close to 48 hours. Monday came and I was still so much pain...I cried and cried and cried. Pool MH...he was so helpless and upset...so extremely worried about me.
One of my biggest fears on Sunday, the 23rd came true...I happened to lose the ability to urinate. My tumors had grown and started to press up against my urethra and pressing down on my bladder. I can't even describe the pain level. I felt like my guts were being pulled out and twisted around....absolutely no relief al all....just deep, to bone pain. I was called in surgery to install a catheter. Great 
After surgery, more lab work had been ordered and now my heart rate was over 160 putting me in Afib ...all of this is happening so fast and medical teams in and out trying to sync pain meds, work my Afib issues, kidney failure and brand new catheter...still with me? 
For the next few days the goal was to stabilize my pain level because it's nearly impossible to function. And it finally happened...after months and months of serious pain....not only have they reduced the amount of drugs
I have to take but have them synced perfectly so pain appears to be in the past..for most part. Knock off wood!!
MH brought me home on Friday, it is wonderful to become and surrounded by my friends and family and my stuff. I have been improving every day with strength and great attitude!! My neighbor loaned me her walker so I can move around our house with out fear of falling....which I did Friday and just about scared the shit out of poor MH.
So there is the most current update for you all, The prayers and cards and loving thoughts the have been sent us. Your generosity and love is amazing....truly.
While the tumors do appear to have gotten bigger,we are very hopeful with the new TD program I'm on.
AK 47 THIS SHIT!!!!!
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
traicionada ( member #10310) posted at 6:31 PM on Sunday, October 30th, 2016
Lots and lots of prayers for you & MH
Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...
ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 7:03 PM on Sunday, October 30th, 2016
Wow DS, what a scare!! I'm so very sorry that you have been in so much pain.
Fingers toes and everything else crossed, positive vibes, healing thoughts and tons more MOJO sent your way. I hope that together with TD and MH you will AK47 THAT SHIT and kick cancer's ass!!
FUCK CANCER.
((((DS & MH))))
Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now
WalkinOnEggshelz ( member #29447) posted at 7:23 PM on Sunday, October 30th, 2016
I'm so relieved that the pain is subsiding. Soak in all that is good...MH, home, family, friends. You are loved, without doubt.
If you keep asking people to give you the benefit of the doubt, they will eventually start to doubt your benefit.
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 7:45 PM on Sunday, October 30th, 2016
(((DS&MH))) So glad they were able to alleviate your pain. Continued prayers your way.
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 7:49 PM on Sunday, October 30th, 2016
Continuing to pray and sending all possible healing thoughts. Sounds like you are getting the very best care available.
Love always,
Cat
FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 10:23 PM on Sunday, October 30th, 2016
((DS & MH)) sending lots of prayers and all good thoughts.
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
atalosss ( member #47882) posted at 5:38 AM on Monday, October 31st, 2016
Sounds so absolutely terrifying! You are a very strong woman, DS!
The biggest {{{hugs}}}
"You can't ride two horses with one ass" Channel66
heforgotme ( member #38391) posted at 6:50 AM on Monday, October 31st, 2016
Wow, you are so brave.
I'm so glad they figured out how to get a handle on the pain.
I have immense respect and admiration for how you are fighting this.
xoxo
D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry
trying to smile ( member #9683) posted at 8:08 AM on Monday, October 31st, 2016
Thank goodness they managed to control your pain dear DS. Constantly sending love and positive energy across the miles.
tts
Good Women.
May we know them,
May we be them,
May we raise them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"so when he finally showed his true colours they proved to be a startling shade of turd".
