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Newest Member: M0771

Just Found Out :
honey, they always affair down...


heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 11:01 PM on Thursday, September 13th, 2018

Hi Edie, if you can edit your first post on this thread to change the icon to a target it will be easier to find and bump. Your PM folder is full so I can't message you.

FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.

posts: 2540   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: California
id 8247193

sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:59 PM on Monday, September 24th, 2018


fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30025   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8253004

Pinkypeach ( member #65880) posted at 10:27 PM on Monday, September 24th, 2018

Isn't this the hardest thing to believe initially! I am actually coming round to the belief that she really is a big step down and deserves pity

posts: 189   ·   registered: Aug. 18th, 2018   ·   location: UK
id 8253278

TidalWaves ( new member #66035) posted at 11:52 AM on Tuesday, September 25th, 2018

I really needed this today! Thank you, thank you!

posts: 17   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2018
id 8253514

minusone ( member #50175) posted at 6:48 PM on Thursday, November 1st, 2018


"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8372   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8276987

Heartbroken9 ( new member #67719) posted at 4:03 AM on Friday, November 2nd, 2018

I so needed to hear this! It is so incredibly true. I looked his AP up on FB and all I could say was why her??? She's not even a pretty girl. I'm no supermodel, but if he would cheat on me with her, he must really have lost interest in me or I have let myself go. I've come to realize I'm not the problem, he has issues. The AP was young, 18 yrs his junior, only 4 years older than his oldest daughter. That part really made me sick! I'm starting to see why she was a prime candidate for his lies. After talking to her, she is a broken person, and probably even more after he just tossed her aside. Thank you for reposting this!

posts: 1   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2018
id 8277328

AnnWithAnE ( new member #67695) posted at 5:42 AM on Friday, November 2nd, 2018

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Me-BS (40)
Him- WH (43)
Married 8 years
2 schoolaged DDs
2 PAs ended 2 years ago

posts: 20   ·   registered: Oct. 31st, 2018
id 8277366

1Wvgirl ( member #66424) posted at 10:54 AM on Friday, November 2nd, 2018

Thank you for this!I'm just recently betrayed. My husband cheated with an uneducated, trashy, most-likely-to-appear-on-Jerry-Springer type of woman. I couldn't fathom it. But this makes it make sense.

ME: BS (not 25 any more)
Him: WS (50+)
Married 29 years. 3 kids, 18, 20, 27

DDay 1: 10/03/2018
DDay 2: 10/20/2018

Staying. For now.

posts: 55   ·   registered: Oct. 7th, 2018
id 8277399

 Edie (original poster member #26133) posted at 10:04 PM on Friday, December 21st, 2018

Hi Edie, if you can edit your first post on this thread to change the icon to a target it will be easier to find and bump. Your PM folder is full so I can't message you.

Ah thanks Heartbroken, does anybody know how I change it to a target?

Oh... and ...Bump 😊😊😊

[This message edited by Edie at 4:08 PM, December 21st (Friday)]

posts: 6646   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 8302811

TwiceWounded ( member #56671) posted at 10:13 PM on Friday, December 21st, 2018

This is an amazing post... I just wish there was a version for us BHs. It just doesn't feel quite the same for us.

Finally time to divorce, at age 40. Final D Day 10/29/23.

Married since 2007. 1st betrayal: 2010. Betrayals 2 - 5 through 2016. Last betrayal Sept/Oct 2023. Now divorce.

2 young kids.

posts: 434   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2017   ·   location: NW USA
id 8302817

Ellie5 ( new member #69068) posted at 2:01 AM on Saturday, December 22nd, 2018

First time I have come across this and, wow.. it means so much to me. Thank you so much for posting this.

posts: 11   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2018   ·   location: Australia
id 8302905

Wenda ( new member #65447) posted at 2:41 AM on Saturday, December 22nd, 2018

In my case the affair partner was cross eyed, had a massive face that required Botox to make it look like she had a chin and had black moles on both eyelids. Despite this she constantly took selfies of herself and posted them all over social media. She was also a narcissist with a low paying job and no education. He didn’t leave me for her...he dumped her. She stalked him desperately for months and then met another man and got pregnant immediately to him so he would have to marry her. Not very flattering at all to my husband...she didn’t want him, she wanted a sperm donor, lol. They get desperate when their biological clock is ticking away! They can only affair down because no one with any self respect would have them

posts: 36   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2018
id 8302920

Istayed ( member #68885) posted at 11:32 PM on Saturday, December 22nd, 2018

Thanks for posting this- it’s great. My STBXWH abandoned me for the OW and filled for D almost immediately so he can marry said OW. I’m almost 2 months out from D day and it’s been hell but I can honestly say that I’ve never felt that the OW is better than me. I’m not perfect but she’s a lying, selfish person who now is in a relationship with another lying, cheating person. They are both broken and this can’t end well. I can look in the mirror everyday and know that I’m a class act who’s stronger than either of them. I’ll be great in time. I doubt they ever will be.

Me: BS 55
Him: WH 55
D-day: 11/09/18 + abandonment
Married 35 years no kids.
In process of divorce.
“Wickedness never was happiness.”

posts: 74   ·   registered: Nov. 19th, 2018   ·   location: Houston
id 8303251

Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 3:03 PM on Monday, December 24th, 2018

BUMP for all of you who need to see this !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6615   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8303801

AbandonedGuy ( member #66456) posted at 5:34 AM on Tuesday, December 25th, 2018

Mine left for a guy 10 years older than me and certainly not better looking, probably with way less success potential (but she didnt realize that as I was pathetically unemployed and depressed at the time), and, in all likelihood, not nearly as interesting. Im torn between feeling sorry for her, being disgusted, and playing with indifference.

EmancipatedFella, formerly AbandonedGuy

posts: 1069   ·   registered: Oct. 9th, 2018
id 8304056

Skan ( member #35812) posted at 5:33 PM on Saturday, January 5th, 2019


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 8309331

 Edie (original poster member #26133) posted at 2:02 PM on Tuesday, January 29th, 2019

Bumpety bump

posts: 6646   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 8320936

Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 2:23 PM on Tuesday, January 29th, 2019

Crazynot you do give hope for a better future!

Thanks for taking the time to post this encouragement!

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1673   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8320947

PurpleHat ( new member #69563) posted at 9:38 PM on Wednesday, January 30th, 2019

This should seriously be a required reading for all new BS members.

Me - BS, early 60's
Him - WH, early 60's
No kids DDay 1 12/2/2018
DDay 2 (about an A that happened 7 years ago) 4/3/2019 (I was told during MC session). In R.
In R

posts: 4   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2019   ·   location: USA
id 8321810

Rustylife ( member #65917) posted at 10:09 PM on Wednesday, January 30th, 2019

Interesting. Not sure I agree with the always part. My XWW left me for a guy 6 years older than both of us. While he wasn't better looking than me, he earned a lot more at the time. I've since corrected that. His parents are absolutely loaded and he's the only child. So I'd call it affairing horizontally. Point is, we don't need these crutches to console us.There will always be people better looking than me, richer than me, more successful than me etc etc. Even if she had left me for Jason Momoa or Aaron Rodgers, my life is much better without that amoral piece of shit dragging me down.

[This message edited by Rustylife at 1:36 AM, February 28th (Thursday)]

Me:BH,28 on Dday
Her:XWW,27 on Dday
Dday: Dec 2016, Separated in Nov'16
Together 8 years, Married for 3
8 month EA/PA with COW at Dday
No remorse, Unapologetic. Divorced her.

posts: 379   ·   registered: Aug. 21st, 2018
id 8321832
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