Well, I have an update!
Fear- my wealthy WH will screw me in our settlement. I will be poor and my ex will be incredibly rich, and I will be jealous for life in addition to struggling and miserable
Reality - Well, I am not screwed completely... from a monitary perspective, my ex will maintain a much higher quality of life than me. However all of that belonged to his parents and was gifted to him as thus was divorce proof.
HOWEVER! I got a great job in the USA and they will have a fine upbringing. Their schooling and university and young adult costs will be taken care of. All costs growing up will be split by half. Because things are a lot cheaper in the US I can actual provide them with a similar quality of life.
I know I could have gotten more money if I had agreed to stay in this country and fought him, but actual quality of life wise and ability to make my own money... USA wins big time.
Fear- my ex won’t let me take me out kids to my home country, even though he never took care of them. I will either have to abandon my children or be a poor single mother in a foreign country with no support system
Reality - WE ARE GOING HOME! My home culture, my wonderful family, my life-long friends and their children... I AM THRILLED- I still can't believe he let me. I know this is the number one thing people fight about in a divorce and it is the reason I basically had no cards in the settlement, but that's okay. I got what mattered.
Fear- I was the problem in our relationship (he was an alcoholic narcissist so probably not) and I will never be in a healthy relationship. I will be alone forever.
Reality - Still single, haven't remotely dated or wanted to.
Betrayed Wife, 39
2 preschool age children
Year long affair, he left me for the OW in Feb 2022
Divorcing, no contact, separated by an ocean thank god