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General :
Rate how disturbing your revenge fantasies are/ were ?

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papoula ( member #39079) posted at 1:03 PM on Sunday, June 19th, 2022

My revenge fantasy is about my WH regretting the cheating and taking me for me granted and begging for us to get back together and I would say no, cry me a river. This is never going to happen though. He would never regret anything, he never loved me and he is uncapable of really loving someone. He has no morals or decency, that kind of messed up person that he is will never regret betraying and hurting someone.

I also would like just once to beat him and the OW up LOL. Obviously I would never do that but it would feel really nice LOL.

My WH wants to be friends after the divorce. At first I thought absolutely no, but now I'm thinking about pretending to be friends (or friendly) as a way of revenge. Being around and hanging out with him I imagine it would piss off the shit out of the OW and hurt their relationship. It would give me huge satisfaction to piss her off and would cause problems in their relationship.

[This message edited by papoula at 1:04 PM, Sunday, June 19th]

Me: BS 41 years oldHim: WH 44 years old1st DDay 2013 and several others after that Married 10 yearsMoving forward with separation and divorce

posts: 148   ·   registered: Apr. 25th, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 8740894
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morningglory ( member #80236) posted at 5:08 PM on Sunday, June 19th, 2022

My WH wants to be friends after the divorce. At first I thought absolutely no, but now I'm thinking about pretending to be friends (or friendly) as a way of revenge. Being around and hanging out with him I imagine it would piss off the shit out of the OW and hurt their relationship. It would give me huge satisfaction to piss her off and would cause problems in their relationship.

Please don't do that to yourself. Don't sink even close to his level by trying to get even with him, and don't emotionally hurt yourself by staying in contact with him. Just close the door on his rubbish and move forward into a better life.

[This message edited by morningglory at 5:10 PM, Sunday, June 19th]

posts: 454   ·   registered: Apr. 15th, 2022
id 8740927
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 5:18 PM on Sunday, June 19th, 2022

Well I had quite a few back in the day.
Probably the worst one, was when we were in early days of R, and My H broke NC because she supposedly had a bad mammogram.
I told him I didn't care if her tits turned black and fell off her body, she would be getting what she deserved, as he was #3 AP, and her H never knew. My H was shocked I said it, but I meant it.

She was also an attorney (yup a D attorney) so of course the most logical was she got reported, and disbarred. I think maybe something like that happened at some point because now she does real estate.

I think it's healthy to think about it, and deal w/ the anger and aggression in this manner. Of course if you take steps to cause another person physical harm that's not cool.

Anyway.....

Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 19412   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8740932
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Summertime22 ( member #79796) posted at 5:40 PM on Sunday, June 19th, 2022

I’m so glad I’m not the only one with revenge fantasises! It makes me feel less crazy. I guess that they have hurt us so much it’s our body and minds way of fighting back.

I would never act on my fantasies though.

I imagine outing him to his family- they think is he wonderful and because they live in a different country and speak a different language they have no idea- I imagine sending them a letter telling them exactly what he did to me- cheating, leaving me to do a pregnancy test alone and hopping straight into the WO’s bed the same day. They would be so shocked. I’m sure he just told them ‘it just didn’t work out’.

I also imagine him crying and begging me to take him back. I refuse and he actually is the one who’s mental health suffers!!

posts: 136   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2022   ·   location: UK
id 8740943
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papoula ( member #39079) posted at 12:03 PM on Monday, June 20th, 2022

Please don't do that to yourself. Don't sink even close to his level by trying to get even with him, and don't emotionally hurt yourself by staying in contact with him. Just close the door on his rubbish and move forward into a better life.

I don't think WH and other OW have an actual relationship. I think she does want a relationship but he doesn't but I don't really know for sure.

But even if they do I don't think revenge would cause me any more hurt, it would actually cause me a lot of satisfaction.

I have decided that I will be a part of my step sons and step granddaughter's life. They like me and want me around for their special occasions so for now I will be going to whatever family gathering they invite me and I'll be seeing my step granddaughter when possible. I adore this little girl and I know she loves me and suddenly disappear from her life it would cause her a lot of emotional damage. So basically that's the hanging around him I'm planning for now and I sure hope if WH and OW are still having their emotional affair it would leave her pissed off.

Me: BS 41 years oldHim: WH 44 years old1st DDay 2013 and several others after that Married 10 yearsMoving forward with separation and divorce

posts: 148   ·   registered: Apr. 25th, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 8741029
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papoula ( member #39079) posted at 12:07 PM on Monday, June 20th, 2022

Please don't do that to yourself. Don't sink even close to his level by trying to get even with him, and don't emotionally hurt yourself by staying in contact with him. Just close the door on his rubbish and move forward into a better life.

I don't think WH and other OW have an actual relationship. I think she does want a relationship but he doesn't but I don't really know for sure.

But even if they do I don't think revenge would cause me any more hurt, it would actually cause me a lot of satisfaction.

I have decided that I will be a part of my step sons and step granddaughter's life. They like me and want me around for their special occasions so for now I will be going to whatever family gathering they invite me and I'll be seeing my step granddaughter when possible. I adore this little girl and I know she loves me and suddenly disappear from her life it would cause her a lot of emotional damage. So basically that's the hanging around him I'm planning for now and I sure hope if WH and OW are still having their emotional affair it would leave her pissed off.

Me: BS 41 years oldHim: WH 44 years old1st DDay 2013 and several others after that Married 10 yearsMoving forward with separation and divorce

posts: 148   ·   registered: Apr. 25th, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 8741030
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Notmine ( member #57221) posted at 2:16 PM on Monday, June 20th, 2022

Not sure about the rating, but:
1. Going to her house grabbing her by the hair and kicking her sleazy ass.
2. Seeing her in public and outing her with especially salacious details of the affair (like when she was diddling herself in her car in public to turn my husband on----EWWWWWWWWWW!!) or maybe #1.
3. Papering her neighborhood with flyers with her picture and various unflattering slogans and details of the affair.
4. Asking her son (who was in the local paper for an album he put out) if he knew his mother was a sleazebag who cheated on his father.

I went as far as printing the flyer, but my sponsor convinced me to sit still and not to react, not to lower myself to her standards. I later realized that treating her like the dirt under my shoe was more satisfying. This probably bothered her more than being able to continue her drama by taking me to court or contacting my husband or my employer with complaints about my behavior. I felt a lot of satisfaction by being able to hold my head up as someone with integrity in comparison to her nastiness and inherent depravity. I did respond in writing to a message she sent my husband via Linkedin. THAT was very satisfying. I immediately blocked her after the message that so she could not respond as I did not care to hear from her. I also sent her husband a certified letter which outed her.

TBH, the immoral scumbag was not my problem. My husband was. HE was the one who promised to be faithful. The world is full of immoral scumbags. It is his response to them that is important.

It has been almost 7 years and I still hope that she is suffers with karma and that it is painful, but most of the time now it is just a fleeting thought.

I saw this several years ago and it always makes me laugh: "It's called KARMA and it's pronounced HAHA, FUCK YOU!"
I can only hope that OW is intimately familiar with this statement.

When you're going through hell, for God's sake, DON'T STOP!

posts: 709   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2017   ·   location: DC
id 8741040
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 6:02 PM on Monday, June 20th, 2022

One revenge fantasy I made a reality. After first D-Day with MOW I told xWS that his business partner had also slept with MOW lol. Fortunately luck would have it that this got back to the MOW because WS believed me laugh When False R hit MOW told me she didn't sleep with the business partner and I said I KNOW laugh best revenge ever!

fBS/fWS(me):49 Mad-hattered after DD1
XWS:51 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
Was Married 19 yrs
DD(19) DS(16)
DD1 (2008) COW, DD2 (2012) MOW, False R (2014) Same MOW. DD3 (2019) Webcam girl

posts: 8290   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8741069
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Hopeful0729 ( new member #67614) posted at 8:28 PM on Monday, June 20th, 2022

This is probably be a 100, AP was a stalker type (and I knew her, she tried to befriend me) so at my absolute worst after Dday, I imagined her doing a "if I can't have him, no one can" scenario and killing WH and then killing herself. Be free of both of them. Ashamed of myself now but appealing at the height of my anger and pain.

Me 41
WH 58
4 kids
D-day 8/27/18
In Reconciliation
WH had a 2-week PA with former COW

posts: 16   ·   registered: Oct. 24th, 2018   ·   location: VA
id 8741101
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Kanashii ( new member #80132) posted at 12:46 PM on Tuesday, June 21st, 2022

I'm still fresh from D-day (6 months ago) and only recently separated after false R, so my revenge fantasy is actually more of a hope for my future, and probably similar to many others here. In it I've moved on and found someone else who understands what it's like to be betrayed by their best friend - someone I can trust and believe in the way I used to with WH. WH would finally get his head out of his Ass and realize all of the pain he caused, would know he was to blame for the failure of our relationship/marriage, and discover that everything he ignored of what I/his friends said about his self destructive actions was true. I want him to see me doing well and regret throwing away everything we had and built together.

So rather tame. Maybe a 1/10. But it's that thought that is keeping me going right now to be strong for my son.

Me - BW Mid 30's
Him - WH Mid 30's

D-day1: Christmas Night 2021
D-day2:6/5/22
Separated.

posts: 32   ·   registered: Mar. 23rd, 2022   ·   location: United States
id 8741196
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survrus ( member #67698) posted at 6:42 PM on Tuesday, June 21st, 2022

I'll just say a 10, details not needed.

Surprising how long this tread has lasted at a relatively slow rate of posting.

posts: 1180   ·   registered: Nov. 1st, 2018   ·   location: USA
id 8741254
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ScarredSurviver ( member #71488) posted at 4:21 PM on Wednesday, June 22nd, 2022

My revenge fantasy was pretty twisted.

My WW's AP was 12 years older than her and he has a daughter that's 9 years younger than me. My fantasy was to start "dating" his oldest daughter who was in college at the time. I would have continued to see her till I could score an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner with the family and just let it all blow up on him. The mindset was that he obviously didn't care about hurting his wife, maybe he still cared about his daughter.

Obviously it never happened outside of my head.

Side note, after going through the super deep investigative stage I found out that his daughter and I have the same birthday. Must be some type of glitch in the matrix.

[This message edited by ScarredSurviver at 4:33 PM, Wednesday, June 22nd]

Still Standing

posts: 87   ·   registered: Sep. 5th, 2019   ·   location: BFE
id 8741382
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Jehuretired ( member #72293) posted at 3:18 PM on Sunday, June 26th, 2022

I had an ongoing fantasy involving a backhoe, my husband's grave and a 5 gallon container of gasoline. Nuff said.

posts: 121   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2019
id 8742028
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