Anyway, to my credit, I was able to—very calmly—do a few things:
• I told her how much hurt and damage she had caused me, and that I would never really forgive her
• I told her that no part of me wants anything to do with her or her family ever again, and that the greatest gift she could give me was to never talk to me again
• I told her about my chat with her Ex, which enraged her (though to her credit, she contained the rage), and used it to suggest that she is a deeply broken individual who needs genuine therapeutic intervention—both to get at why she has been cheating all these years, and to find a way beyond her family’s vice-like, and deeply unhealthy, grip on her soul
To her credit, she listened to it all and apologized. She said that she now accepted that we were done and that she would leave me alone. She did part by saying that a) she had only had the one affair (!), and that b) he wasn’t as good as me in any way, blah blah, and that she felt largely coerced by him. I just shook my head sadly and watched her leave.
I enjoyed a really relaxing weekend—in the end, that experience with her had been freeing, in many ways—but then last Monday, Ex-WF sent me an email, showing a very revealing picture of her sunbathing. I did not respond. Then the next day, she sent me an even more revealing photo, accompanied by the note, ‘I know you can’t dislike these that much if you aren’t telling me to stop.’ Then the next day, around the same time as the other two emails were sent, she sent me a pretty explicit video of herself. At that point, I did respond; got very angry; told her that I would be seeking legal means to remove her from my life for the clear harassment she and her family were visiting upon me. She wrote me back later that evening, apologized, and said that she knows she needs help and would not contact me again. I haven’t heard from her since (though it has only been 5 days).
My friend, you're still behaving in a potentially self-defeating manner here. Let's take at face value the assumption that her dad is a Type A personality, driven and competitive, the type of man who makes it his mission to crush those who cross him, a powerful and influential narcissist. Let's assume he now views you as such. Let's assume he has connections to law enforcement and judiciary.
First, if that is the case, and if he has always held a life-long role of the alpha authority figure in his family, then his daughter (your ex) is going to be loyal to him, not you.
Every communication you make to her -- EVERY communication, whether oral or in writing -- you must assume will be reviewed by father, his legal team, law enforcement, and potentially even members of judiciary, all with an eye toward taking actions against you to harm you in some way.
Therefor, first, you should eliminate interaction with her to the extent you can. Block all of her texts and emails.
Second, NEVER communicate to her in writing, in anger. That is a huge mistake, a sign of immaturity quite frankly.
Third, assume that when she broke into your yard and was behaving in a sexually aggressive manner, it was likely to entrap you. It wasn't because she's horny for your Johnson. Don't flatter yourself. She was likely recording your conversation and hoping to entrap you into something that could be used against you in some way.
Likewise, those salacious images of her in your phone, those are acid. Law enforcement or legal counsel could have a field day if they find those on your phone. If you forward any of them, even once, to a buddy or such, you're dead.
You need to delete them, but you need to also use a computer professional to ensure that all back-up and "shadow" or "mirror" copies of them are gone, and that all traces of having deleted them are gone.
Then, for goodness sake, STOP ACCEPTING MESSAGES FROM HER. Block her number(s). All of them. Send her a simple NC letter an actual written letter, on paper, delivered via fed exp. Include a reminder that she should not trespass on your property and that she is no longer a resident of that property.
[This message edited by Butforthegrace at 6:17 AM, May 18th (Tuesday)]