Just had a triple shot of Oban 14 on 2 cubes.
Mana from heaven, brother! Be careful about drinking too much, however, it will only delay your healing.
I'm a man. We're wired to either be Alpha or Beta.
People make way too much of this shit and generally adopt misconceptions, particularly about themselves. Don't buy into the hype, SaddestDad. Most people have no fucking clue what makes an "alpha" male.
You know what the discovery of her cheating did?
It turned me back into that little fat bullied motherfucker.
It turned me into the scared little pussy that I was for half my life.
It shrunk my balls back down to the size of sesame seeds.
I can't remember who it was, but one of our Menz recently wrote that infidelity "hit me in my DNA." It's never ceased to amaze me just how deeply, how profoundly, how fucking hard... it all hits. I understand how you feel, brother. I've been there and done that and I don't ever want to go back down into the depths of that rabbit hole ever again.
Now, here's the really fucked-up part. Your brain is trying to find a way to cope with the trauma by examining how you've coped with trauma in the past. The betrayal of infidelity is, for most people, a severe emotional and psychological trauma. Not eating, not sleeping, extreme weight lost (30lbs for me in about two months), the reliance upon our usual coping mechanisms that just don't seem to be up to snuff, are all just par for the course. PTSD is common.
So, what you're going through is pretty normal.
Now, what are going to do about it? How are you going to pick yourself up off the floor, dust yourself off, and stand on your own two feet?
If you feel the need to seek out professional help then, by all means, do it. My wife put me in therapy, brother, because I could not control the rage. My wife sent me to SI, because I couldn't cope. My wife gave me a reason to read self-help books (Linda MacDonald & Janis Spring, in particular). I'd done none of these things before. I'd never sought out therapy. I'd never sought out a support group. I'd never read self-help books. I'd never...
So, you're going to have to learn some new coping strategies and, along the way, you're going to have to resolve some old traumas triggered by this one.
Focus you on, SaddestDad, your recovery and healing. I know it's hard. Surviving infidelity has been the most painful and difficult time of my life. I'm just over four years out and I'm still healing, still working through some shit, still learning.
Focus on you. Drink lots of water. Avoid substance abuse. Force yourself to eat small, healthy meals. Get some exercise. If you can't sleep, try some mild OTC sleep aids. Seek out a therapist if you feel the need. Personally, it was well worth the time and money (and I only went a few times).
Focus on you, your recovery and healing.
[This message edited by Unhinged at 12:32 PM, June 6th (Thursday)]