Life is a wheel. Sooner or later everything you'd left behind comes around again. For good or ill, it comes around again. For what profit is to a man if he gains the world but loses his own soul? BH 32 WW 34 Change4thebetter Working hard

6 years out

Time is a crazy thing... as it passes we acknowledge that it's gone in the past, yet we still await it's continuation in the coming future.

It's 6 years out from my first DDay.

6 years to the day was when my world was destroyed.

I've been great all things considered.

WE'VE been great every way you slice it.

I'm not going dark nearly as often as I was, and I'm at a job that, for the first time since the first DDay, I'm doing well by.

6 years ago I didn't think we would ever get to this point.

6 years ago today was when I first contemplated leaving her.

I'm glad that I didn't.

To all of you newbies, please remember that the night is always darkest before dawn. It may feel like it'll never get better... that your WS is in la-la-land, or your BS is miserable and flat lining- I'm here to tell you that it's not the case. If you put in the time and effort, true R can be accomplished.

Trickle truth was the worst part for me. Every time new information came out i got another punch in the gut, and trickle truth lasted an entire year.

Honestly, I'm not sure how we got past that part... but I'm glad we did.

We're told it takes 2-5 years from the final discovery for healing to truly take place. I'd say that's mostly accurate.

Edited for spelling

8 comments posted: Tuesday, February 4th, 2025

5 years out

Hey everyone, hope you're all doing as well as you can be.

February 4th will be 5 years out from DDay 1. I've cone a very long way thus far.

On January 6th, I was dark for a long time but I couldn't figure out why I was. That was the anniversary of the last DDay we had 4 years gone. I actually forgot about a DDay date!! Granted, I was still dark but omg!

I'm unfortunately still looking for a job. I think that was one of the biggest repercussions I've dealt with. The confidence-killing is real, regardless of R or D.

A lot of you told me that I should D my WW... that she wasn't R material. I'm happy to say "told ya so." She is a totally different person now than she was back then. In the best possible way.

If not for her having stepped up and taken accountability for her actions, I'd probably be dead by now.

It's sickening to know that had it not been for the DDays we probably would have gotten D'ed because her affairs had thrown not just a wrench but a sledgehammer between the two of us.

Am I fully healed now, 5 years out? No, I don't think I am.

I am, however, present for our infant and the older kids. I've come far enough to be responsible enough to take care of all 3 of them so that my wife can work. It doesn't bother me knowing that she's currently the breadwinner as I know that I'm contributing as best as I can. I work per diem and also do a lot of dogsitting to help make ends meet.

Again, I'm not 100% there yet, but I expect to be within the next 2-3 years.

To all of you newly betrayed spouses, I just want to tell you that there IS hope for a better future for you as soon as you relinquish control of the situation. Remember that you are a badass motherfucker with brass balls (or bosom for the ladies lol) the size of watermelons. You're a strong, passionate and capable individual. You're going to see it yourself one day soon. You just need to open your eyes.

5 comments posted: Friday, January 26th, 2024

It's a boy!

Wife gave birth a few weeks back. It's a boy! R is going well. I still get dark occasionally, especially during A season but for the most part all is well.

14 comments posted: Wednesday, August 16th, 2023

Fonelab Issues

So I've tried using Fonelab with my WW's iPhone 7+ a couple of times.

It works up until around 74% complete & then the program craps out and crashes. Kaput. Gotta start over each. And every. Time.

After 3.5 hours to GET to 74% (110gb or so), you can imagine how infuriating it is... hasnt even gotten to WhatsApp yet.

Anyone have experience with Fonelab?

It's the paid version of Data recovery.

1 comment posted: Tuesday, March 12th, 2019