Newest Member: Chickenhawk

Wayward Side :
Things that every WS needs to know

default

hopefulforlife ( member #33645) posted at 7:10 AM on Friday, February 3rd, 2012

Bump... for all new people.

I wish I had read this earlier... I wish I had understood all this earlier...

Learn from mistakes and keep working on self as there is no end to learning and improving!!

posts: 85   ·   registered: Oct. 17th, 2011   ·   location: India
id 5671482
default

BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 2:21 PM on Sunday, February 5th, 2012

bump for JudgedByMyCover

WH - 49
BW - gerrygirl

posts: 6125   ·   registered: Dec. 19th, 2009   ·   location: Tri-Cities
id 5674789
default

GullibleGirl ( member #33580) posted at 8:57 PM on Tuesday, February 21st, 2012

Bumped for Lud22. Hope this helps!

Me-FWW-53 He-BH-55
No kids/M 29yrs/D-Day: 4/20/11

posts: 667   ·   registered: Oct. 11th, 2011   ·   location: The third loop of the bowels of Hell
id 5704741
default

hurting7897 ( member #34761) posted at 5:17 AM on Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012

WOW!!!! I can't say "thank you" enough for this amazing post!! I printed it out to show my WS. It's only been 3 weeks since I discovered his ONC and subsequent betrayal, and I find him getting annoyed that I'm not "over it" yet. He's remorseful, he says over and over how sorry he is, etc., but just yesterday I looked at his phone records and found out he lied about the texts to and from the OW. He was furious with me. Reading this makes me realize why we're not getting anywhere. He may be sorry, he may be wanting R more than anything, but he's not doing enough to rebuild my trust.

Thank you so so much again. You have truly helped me so much.

Married 20 years
Me-BS-51
Him-FWH-46 "healing4us2"
2 kids, DD 12 and DS 16
D-day #1 Jan. 30,2012
D-day #2 April 12, 2012
D-day #3 April 15, 2012
June 24, 2012--Decided to R.
January 21, 2013-Forgave him! Life is sweet
May 4, 2015--T

posts: 230   ·   registered: Feb. 8th, 2012   ·   location: Wisconsin
id 5705545
default

BrokenLadyInMs ( member #34897) posted at 10:08 PM on Tuesday, February 28th, 2012

Hurting7897, I hear where you are coming from. Sounds like he IS sorry - sorry he got caught.

I know the feeling. Hang in there, today's dust and tomorrow is on the way.

Me 56 WSO (Significant Other)58
Together 26 years
Living together 6 years
DDay 5/13/11
In R, but could be better
"How can a love that'll last forever get left so far behind?"

posts: 68   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Mississippi
id 5717132
default

silverhopes ( member #32753) posted at 12:01 AM on Thursday, March 8th, 2012

bump

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.

posts: 5254   ·   registered: Jul. 12th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 5731200
default

Fathful123 ( member #34867) posted at 4:01 AM on Friday, March 9th, 2012

Thank you! My FWH is away on a business trip. I just emailed it to him and asked him to read it before he comes home.

This hits on sooo many areas. Very good.

DDay-7/11/2011
Me(51)
WS(54)with ED!!!!
OW- 49, big manly looking, Amazon looking Ho ; works with federal government but in different state
Several EAs and one oovoo recorded masturbation chat!
We have been Married 18 years
3 kids youngest 17

posts: 78   ·   registered: Feb. 19th, 2012   ·   location: Northern Virginia
id 5733800
default

Nightfall ( member #34954) posted at 4:18 PM on Monday, March 12th, 2012

Made me cry :( Thanks for this, have sent it on to WH.

me-BS 28
him-fWS 38
Together: 8 years Married: 4 years
D Day 1: June 2007 First A
D Day 2: July 2011 LTA of 2 years
In R

posts: 80   ·   registered: Feb. 29th, 2012
id 5738637
default

hardlessons ( member #35025) posted at 2:17 AM on Tuesday, March 13th, 2012

Thanks for reposting this. It is helping to let me know what/how to respond and do. I recognize the steps my wife tried with me. Hopefully she is more receptive than i was.

Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."

posts: 955   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2012   ·   location: Arizona
id 5739735
default

BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 3:10 AM on Tuesday, March 13th, 2012

bump

WH - 49
BW - gerrygirl

posts: 6125   ·   registered: Dec. 19th, 2009   ·   location: Tri-Cities
id 5739811
default

GullibleGirl ( member #33580) posted at 6:39 PM on Friday, March 16th, 2012

Bumped for Hugemistake.

Me-FWW-53 He-BH-55
No kids/M 29yrs/D-Day: 4/20/11

posts: 667   ·   registered: Oct. 11th, 2011   ·   location: The third loop of the bowels of Hell
id 5746364
default

klynn ( member #31825) posted at 3:14 AM on Saturday, March 17th, 2012

Thank you! This made me cry...good tears. You "get" it!

Klynn
Me: BW (36)
Him: WH (37)
Married 10 years Together 13 years
2 children 8, 5
D-Day 11.29.10
Trying to R

posts: 112   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2011   ·   location: Michigan
id 5747217
default

SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 12:17 AM on Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012

bumped for BUSYBEE1975.

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 5773010
default

stilllovingher ( member #29959) posted at 1:36 AM on Saturday, April 14th, 2012

back to the top

The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

posts: 2427   ·   registered: Oct. 27th, 2010   ·   location: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
id 5790402
default

hardlessons ( member #35025) posted at 3:30 AM on Friday, May 18th, 2012

Bump it up.

This was/is invaluable to a new WS IMO

Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."

posts: 955   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2012   ·   location: Arizona
id 5841275
default

La Traviata ( member #14941) posted at 4:34 PM on Friday, May 18th, 2012

I just printed it out and annotated it with lots of underlining and arrows and exclamation points. I changed the title to "GUIDE TO THE CARE AND FEEDING OF YOUR NEW TRAVIATA"

I see WH on Sunday and I will give it to him then. I think he'll like it since it addresses a lot of his "why is she doing/feeling/saying this?" frustrations.

me: BW 31
him: WH, 29
DDay: 4/16/12
RelapseDay:4/15/13

A year of false R. I grew and worked, he didn't. He took off his wedding ring during an alcoholic relapse, I packed and left the next day. I went back 8 weeks later, working hard

posts: 186   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2007   ·   location: NOVA
id 5841974
default

NorthernGirl888 ( member #35372) posted at 4:50 PM on Friday, May 18th, 2012

thanks for this post.

Me - 42 MH
Him - 48 Serial Cheater
Most recent D-Day- Feb 2016

posts: 635   ·   registered: Apr. 18th, 2012
id 5842017
default

SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 2:17 PM on Wednesday, May 30th, 2012

bumped for NobleCause

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 5857555
default

La Traviata ( member #14941) posted at 10:19 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012

This went over GREAT with WH. It's improved our communication so much. In fact, his therapist asked me to print off a copy for him so he could share it with other patients. He's doing the apologies regularly and it really does help. I think it would be useful to put it in the Healing Library.

me: BW 31
him: WH, 29
DDay: 4/16/12
RelapseDay:4/15/13

A year of false R. I grew and worked, he didn't. He took off his wedding ring during an alcoholic relapse, I packed and left the next day. I went back 8 weeks later, working hard

posts: 186   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2007   ·   location: NOVA
id 5859938
default

mesoSTUPID ( member #35679) posted at 3:13 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012

Thank you to everyone who continued to BUMP this. I sent it to my WH because he's been asking for more information. This is I feel the best piece of this forum I could ever send him for us.

ME (BS): 41 and so stupid!
Him (WH): 43. He's my dragon slayer but my heart wasn't supposed to be slayed!

posts: 195   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2012   ·   location: Miami
id 5860402
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.000.20211022 2002-2021 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy