Newest Member: Maifurrypurt

Wayward Side :
Things that every WS needs to know

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stilllovemywife ( member #32910) posted at 6:52 PM on Friday, July 29th, 2011

What an amazing post. Spot on. I don't think I could express how I feel any better than what you have here. These are exactly the things I need. I am printing this to give to WW. I hope she reads it, gets it, and uses it.

Truly amazing. Thank you.

posts: 113   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2011   ·   location: United States
id 5362389
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stilllovinghim ( member #29971) posted at 2:15 AM on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011

BUMP!!!

“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010
id 5366580
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andywalks ( new member #32897) posted at 3:54 AM on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011

Oh do I need to reread this and be reminded. Thanks. Its so hard to listen! I'm so drained.

Me WS 45
Him BS 45
Married 24 years
D-Day 21 May 2011
3 sons 11, 17, 18

posts: 15   ·   registered: Jul. 26th, 2011   ·   location: southeast us
id 5366712
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Offhispedestal ( member #32528) posted at 1:58 PM on Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011

This is EXACTLY how I feel. I wish I could get by H to read this.We are in R but there is more than 1 DD. So the NC has been NC as far as I know. I think it may take me longer to heal because there are still things that I know that he has not brought up on his own. Me bringing it up will only cause an argument and Im tired of arguing. Its only been 1 month since NC(emails,text) its been longer NC ,H has not been with her physically in months. Maybe one day he will read this. HE HATES TO READ.

ME-48
WH-49
Married 27


2Beautiful daughters
DD 6/26/10 (he broke down & confessed)
DD#2 3/14/11 H in OW's car
TT 7/1/11 (NC broken, through emails)

In R

posts: 748   ·   registered: Jun. 18th, 2011
id 5368876
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MrsSprky99 ( member #32895) posted at 3:34 PM on Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011

Absolutely amazing post...and a must see for any WS. Speaks volumes when sometimes us BS can't! THANK YOU!!!!

BW (me) - 47
WH (him) - 53
Married - 14 years
3 Children - 25, 24 from first relationship & 10 y/o with WH
D-Day: June 11, 2011

posts: 78   ·   registered: Jul. 26th, 2011   ·   location: Northern IL
id 5369069
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Mommy23 ( new member #32646) posted at 6:03 AM on Wednesday, August 10th, 2011

This is the best and most accurate description of exactly what I, BS, have been feeling!! I emailed it to my WS and he is reading it as I sit here. It is PERFECT and I think many would agree.

Once a WS reads this, they cannot claim they do not know what to do to help heal the pain they have created.

posts: 27   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2011   ·   location: Los angeles
id 5380178
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Textbook Case ( member #24977) posted at 11:03 PM on Monday, August 22nd, 2011

bump

BW- me
FWH- 5-year EA/PA plus really poor boundaries with coworkers
Married 30 years (college sweethearts)
Reconciling...

posts: 2735   ·   registered: Jul. 28th, 2009
id 5399093
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bestbecameworst ( member #31507) posted at 11:49 PM on Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011

What do you do when you give this link to your WS and they don't read it, it's too long, then you never hear back...

[This message edited by bestbecameworst at 5:49 PM, August 23rd (Tuesday)]

Me: BS
Together since 1997, married Jan 2010, EA started Feb 2010, PA June 2010
D-day1 Oct 20 2010 / D-day2 Oct 21 2010 and following week / found this site Mar 2011
He didn't do work to reconcile.
DIVORCED in 2014 and HAPPY!

posts: 599   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2011
id 5400956
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RKT429SS ( member #28883) posted at 5:14 PM on Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

What do you do when you give this link to your WS and they don't read it, it's too long, then you never hear back...

You 180. Big time!

Me - BS 38
Her - WS 37
MOM - coworker,with 2 kids, EA&PA approx. 6 mo
Us Married 10 yrs (together 15 yrs)
1 girl, 1 boy
DDay 3.15.2010
Working on R

posts: 217   ·   registered: Jun. 24th, 2010
id 5402116
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Dallas2 ( member #28362) posted at 1:57 PM on Thursday, August 25th, 2011

HUFI-PUFI:

Thank you for you post. It has helped my FWS understand where I was at and believe me without this we would not have celebrated our 20th Anniversary or be looking forward to a future together.

Thank you again

Me

posts: 828   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2010
id 5403508
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betrayer47 ( member #28957) posted at 12:59 AM on Saturday, August 27th, 2011

Bump for HUFI

posts: 247   ·   registered: Jul. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: MN
id 5406694
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 1:23 PM on Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 5433695
exclaimation

starstruck ( member #29547) posted at 11:13 AM on Friday, September 16th, 2011

DDay 7/29/2010
Am hoping to reconcile!! Am I crazy or what?
If we all did the things we are capable of doing we would literally astound ourselves-Thomas Edison

posts: 335   ·   registered: Sep. 8th, 2010   ·   location: Pa
id 5439315
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hathnofury ( member #32550) posted at 7:51 PM on Monday, September 26th, 2011

bump. And thanks, OP.

BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

posts: 1503   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011
id 5455314
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fromthisdayfwd ( member #30634) posted at 1:46 AM on Monday, October 3rd, 2011

Bump

Married 8/20/1994
Betrayed
DDay 6/23/2010
A gift is not given if it has been demanded.

Failure to attempt is failure.

posts: 444   ·   registered: Jan. 5th, 2011
id 5465887
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lostandloster ( new member #33498) posted at 12:59 AM on Tuesday, October 4th, 2011

I am a new BS who just had his own DD about a week ago.

I want you to know that that post is the most beautiful thing that I've read and I so wish my WW would do these things.

I hurt so bad, that post made me cry terribly.

I pray that many WS read this, learn and understand.

posts: 19   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2011   ·   location: sacramento
id 5467417
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Birima ( member #33519) posted at 10:15 AM on Tuesday, October 4th, 2011

Dear all,

Thank you for posting this important first aid kid that should be of use the rest of our live.

Me WH
She BW
Married for 7 YRS
D-Day 09/16/11
OC born December 4th 2011
No R yet

posts: 104   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2011
id 5467912
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 10:33 PM on Tuesday, October 11th, 2011

bump

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 5479778
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CF1111 ( member #33577) posted at 3:08 AM on Friday, October 14th, 2011

Read this today and think it's awesome. Hit the nail on the head with everything I'm going through. Emailed it to my WW, but she's too tired to read it tonight she says. Ugh! Hoping for a 180 tomorrow when she reads it. Thanks for posting.

Me BS
Her WW
OM neighbor
Married 8 yrs
Kids (2)
D-Day 01/2011
Trying to R, failing lately

posts: 83   ·   registered: Oct. 10th, 2011
id 5484062
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Sandcrab ( member #10067) posted at 4:43 PM on Tuesday, October 18th, 2011

I ♥ LostJim

Adopt a chihuahua in your area
http://adopt-a-chihuahua.adoptapet.com/

posts: 5618   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2006   ·   location: wishing I was on an ocean beach somewhere...
id 5490864
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