Newest Member: Maifurrypurt

Wayward Side :
Things that every WS needs to know

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miraclewithwife ( member #29016) posted at 1:40 AM on Thursday, April 14th, 2011

and worth reposting over and over again. much appreciated.

Me: xWH 34, She: xBW 39
D 2 1/2 born 3/2009, OC born 10/2009
D-day 12/2009, D final 5/11

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.
~Jean Kerr, Mary

posts: 168   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2010   ·   location: mid-atlantic
id 5185231
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hurtbutmending ( member #31655) posted at 10:58 PM on Monday, April 18th, 2011

I think it should be included in the Healing Library.

It explains so much about how a BS feels and what BS needs from WS.

BS(me)
FWH(him)
MOW insignificant
married 25 years
2 grown children
DDay Oct 4 2009
R - trying


Trusted too much!

posts: 306   ·   registered: Mar. 28th, 2011   ·   location: Finding myself again
id 5193788
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crushed101 ( member #27860) posted at 6:18 PM on Tuesday, April 19th, 2011

Bump!

Also, BS here. Great article. I gave this to my WBF over a year ago. He finally read it last night. He commented that it was interesting and wanted to read it again. At this point it really doesn't matter if we make it or not,I just feel a huge relief that he will hopefully understand what this has done to me.

posts: 94   ·   registered: Mar. 6th, 2010
id 5195335
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stilllovinghim ( member #29971) posted at 5:10 AM on Saturday, April 23rd, 2011

Bumpin again

“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010
id 5202954
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No_Einstein ( new member #31972) posted at 11:18 PM on Saturday, April 23rd, 2011

My BS sent this to me... sometimes the hints are not so subtle!!

This has really helped me understand and to do the right things occasionally...

Thanks!

Me FWS 43
Her BW 41
DD Feb 17/11 - TT for 2-3 months more.

posts: 3   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 5203789
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stilllovinghim ( member #29971) posted at 4:08 AM on Sunday, April 24th, 2011

Bumped for Keepondoingit

“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010
id 5204186
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takilasunrise ( member #29786) posted at 4:58 PM on Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

Marking so I can find this later....in case I get to share it with a certain person ever.

BW - Me, 49 years old
WH - Him, 51 years old)
D-Day July 2010 (several D-days to follow)
Divorced February 7, 2012

Denial isn't the way to forgiveness. The Karma for screwing over a good girl is the Bitch you end up with.

posts: 980   ·   registered: Oct. 6th, 2010   ·   location: WI
id 5207621
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stilllovinghim ( member #29971) posted at 11:06 AM on Monday, May 2nd, 2011

Bumped for Confused2Be.

“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010
id 5217173
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TammyLynn70 ( member #28470) posted at 7:07 PM on Thursday, May 5th, 2011

Bump

posts: 166   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2010
id 5223333
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stilllovinghim ( member #29971) posted at 8:42 AM on Sunday, May 8th, 2011

Bumped for Tragicmess

“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010
id 5227205
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Weak ( new member #32119) posted at 1:53 PM on Wednesday, May 11th, 2011

My husband asked me to read this in the early days after D Day. It was very hard to read because some of it I didn't believe and some of it I thought I wouldn't be able to do. I was in the 'fog' trying to recover from the addiction of the AP.

Now, 6 months on from D Day 1, and 2 days on from the last of the lies coming out (which have put us back to what feels like another D Day) reading it again for the 3rd time, it all makes sense. I can understand it and I want to try my best to do it all too. This is such a good post. I'm going to print it off and keep reading it.

Thank you.

posts: 36   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: England
id 5231666
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wishingandhoping ( member #32064) posted at 7:02 PM on Wednesday, May 11th, 2011

Thanks again. Hard to read and face up to but so important.

posts: 222   ·   registered: May. 4th, 2011
id 5232142
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 10:22 PM on Saturday, May 14th, 2011

Bumping for HopeandFear1!

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 5237206
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HopeandFear1 ( new member #30716) posted at 5:29 AM on Wednesday, May 18th, 2011

Thank you, SisterMilkshake! This article opened my WH's eyes. He was angry when he first read it, but by the next day he seemed to have finally understood... 3 days of genuine remorse feels like heaven after 8 months of hell. Wish us luck.

Me - BW age 59; Him - WH age 63
Married 42 years
WH saw prostitutes for the past two years
D-day - Oct 2, 2010
Working on R with a bit of success

posts: 4   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2011
id 5242414
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stilllovinghim ( member #29971) posted at 8:46 AM on Thursday, May 26th, 2011

Bumpin again for the newbies and as a reminder to all of us as well!

“You have a choice. Live or die.Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. Every time you don't throw yourself down the stairs, that's a choice. Every time you don't crash your car, you re-enlist.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2010
id 5255542
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 2:04 PM on Friday, June 10th, 2011

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 5280212
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Shattered-Heart ( member #32165) posted at 8:08 AM on Saturday, June 11th, 2011

Thank you.

Me BW
Him WH
"The trick is to keep breathing." - Garbage

posts: 200   ·   registered: May. 15th, 2011
id 5282008
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SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 2:41 PM on Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 5300298
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evolutionwithin ( new member #32572) posted at 9:21 PM on Sunday, July 10th, 2011

bump

Me: 25yrs old WS
Her : 21yrs old BS
D-Day: 10/24/2010
EA:?
PA:6
One toddler and another baby on the way.

posts: 22   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2011   ·   location: evolutionwithin
id 5330692
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wifeno2 ( member #31529) posted at 1:28 AM on Tuesday, July 12th, 2011

Awe, I love all the bumps. Wish I could....he doesn't look at SI. (So I emailed him ha ha ha!) He can't get away that easy!

Me-BW (45)
Him-WS (42)
DS 19 (prior relationship)
DS-8
DDay #1- 10/22/2010 EA/PA with MOW coworker
Dday#2:11/17/2010 beginning secret emails with potential OW#2
DDay #3 11/22/2010 still seeing OW#1
Too many DD's to count: Now up to OW #6.

posts: 696   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011   ·   location: the south
id 5332548
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