M1965
Roll the windows up. Look straight ahead. Put your foot on the gas.
Some people, and some situations, are best seen in a rear view mirror, getting smaller and smaller as you leave them behind and head into a future where you are not weighed down by their self-indulgent nonsense.
I will be. Fortunately they aren't reaching out, so that makes it easier for me. The hardest will be my sister-in-law's daughters, who I've become close to. I will keep in touch with them if they do likewise.
KingofNothing
Reading your STBXw's responses in your last conversation over text, I'm seeing trigger words that I find a little alarming. The most egregious being where she complains that you are terrorizing her. That's not good, man. Disengage. Disengage, Disengage.
Well it's Sunday and I've avoided talking to her about much of anything. I have disengaged. She sent me STD test results, which was one of the litany of things I sent her a few weeks ago that I said would make me feel safe. It's far too late for trying on her part and an STD test is common sense.
Stop trying to correct her narrative. She's considering it equivalent to "being bashed"... very forcible and selected use of action verbs. It's not that long of a stroll from there to domestic abuse charges. I can't stress this enough, get those magical tiny audio visual alibi-makers in place, pronto. Don't talk to her in person again until after mediation, if you can avoid it. Just don't text her beyond the bare minimum to get stuff done around the house until after the mediation. I know it's tough, but I'm not liking her tone at all. Protect yourself.
Yes, will do - and I agree. I'm just doing the minimum at this point.
PlanNine
Shorthand for the common cheater's refrain, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Yes, it's so cliché that it has its own acronym. I would wager that 90% of us heard some version of this, often verbatim.
Ah, gotcha. She hasn't said precisely that, but she's basically implied it for the last few weeks. I think if I were to directly ask her she would say 'I don't know'. I'm not going to ask her, just guesstamating.
pureheartkit
Hello.
You must feel weary. I'm glad that you have gotten to see this clearly. It seems to me that she feels she can say whatever to whoever. The story/attitude constantly changes. Who knows what is the truth anymore. She makes grand declarations and sounds conflicted. Sadly, you can't wait to see what's next in this storm. She had her chance to make this right.
Friday I was dead on my feet. I've been kind of empty since then. I have this profound sense of sorrow and inevitability in me. I also feel this hole inside me. It feels like a chunk of me went down with where ever that hole leads to, as though it were a toilet being flushed. I feel like small trickles of water are still going down but the bulk of the sewage has already gone down.
If that makes any sense.
I hope you get some peace soon and recover from the stress. You showed yourself to be a good person in all of this. I agree with the others. She keeps trying to pull your emotions like a toy on a string. Cut that string. She has no right to yank on it any more.
Please think about what would make you happy now.
Thank you for this. I think she is either consciously or unconsciously attempting to pull my strings. I think once I'm through with mediation and in another place things will still suck, but they will be better.
I feel very strongly like she is doing everything in her power to keep me in limbo. As though she has crafted voodoo dolls of me to accomplish this task. That's why it's imperative that I stay the course and get out when I can.
It's a serious matter. Your WW jumped into a raging current and is washing away. She still calls for you to wade in. My friend, please look at the mountain path before you. You are going up.
Yeah, she wants to drag me down into the icey watery depths.
You and your kids are going up that path to the top. There's a peaceful meadow up there and the air is clean. You can be happy there. The path requires effort but the way is interesting. You can always take rests or visit with a friend as you go.
I'm dreaming of that meadow.
Do not feel alone. You are never alone. You are always surrounded by love. We are all eternal spirits and we are all important. Every one of us.
You will see. Keep your heart open. Be open to help and take time to help others.
Thank you, this helps. It sucks because I'm here and I feel isolated, but there's this community, my friends, and my family.
This is a moment of transition. Think of what you want your life to be. Transition to that thought. Just take a step toward it.
You are free of the chaos. It's sad to say goodbye and start up the mountain. I can tell you that I sat by the river crying for at least a year. Now I'm on the path and I feel I'm being restored. I see my life clearly. I know who I am. I make good decisions. Every day brings interest.
Let your emotions come but recognize they are temporary like changing clouds. Keep your focus on your goal and shine your light to help others. Don't be afraid and don't let anyone try and confuse you. You know who you are.
Yes, thank you for saying this. I think it's true. I have already recognized that mornings are particularly tough for me. But the emotions will pass. Actually, on days when I just do cardio it's rougher. The thing is, I can't lift weights every day.
I'm currently watching La Llorona...Not sure that's a wise choice.... Lol...