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I hope you swallow a tapeworm and it eats half your brain. The disordered half.

I can't even make eye contact with you anymore. I just realized that.

Yuck. Just go.

You stole the last four years of my life from me. Years that I can never get back. Years when I could have been looking for someone who actually loved and valued me. Years when I could have had a baby. It may be too late for me now, but lucky you - there's plenty of time left for you! You may have taken motherhood from me, too.

I may never forgive you. And even if I do, you're never going to deserve my forgiveness.

Why didn't you let me leave a year ago. Why did you beg me to stay, telling me all that mattered in this world was having me and you kids in your life? Why didn't you just leave in 2006 like you said you wanted to? Why are you such a fucking liar? Why now did you decide to pull away just as I was starting to reconnect. How was I so fucking blind? I love my kids, but if I'd have known who you really are, the day I met you, I would have stayed in bed. You keep telling others it's not me, it's you, but tell me I'm nothing but negative, so which is it?

I am working on myself. I am a persson of value. I will be happy again. Fuck you for what you've done to me. Fuck you for what you're doing to our kids. Fuck you for wasting half of my life. Just Fuck You you fucking asshole!!!

[This message edited by doigoordoistay at 1:24 PM, July 16th (Monday)]

I tell myself that I don't give a shit what you think about me......

That's not really true, but I'm working hard to make it so.

You don't even give a first, let alone a second thought at how hurtful your constant sniping and criticism and sulking and raging is to me and your boys.

Goodness knows why you - Mr Fucking wonderful - think you're entitled to criticise anyone.....

You! You big fat fuck.

You're actually a pathetic, childish, anger-addict.

A truly horrid, spiteful piece of shit.

I don't even like you - let alone love you anymore

and I'm doing much better at not caring at all.

I wish you'd just Fuck OFF.

I know what you did. I know what the real timeline is. You screwed your child’s life up before he was born. Willfully and intentionally jeopardized the health of the unborn. One he was here, you didn’t care about fucking up his future more. Every whore was a “fuck you guys” to us. Every dollar you spent on your selfish ass was a dollar less that sweet child had towards his needs. Some great father you are. Go fuck yourself.

I used to get twisted in knots begging to know where "you" went, desperate for you to come back.

Now I just want you gone. Fuck off, really.

It's fucking preposterous how you keep talking about "protecting yourself" during this divorce, wanting to make sure you get a your fair share of the assets and alimony. What happened to protecting me? Or our family? FUCK YOU!

I would have stood by your side through anything. Now I just want to run as far as I can. But I know that I can't take my kids from their mom. So I guess I have to take another bite of the shit sandwich you keep serving us. I don't want you dead, but I wish you would disappear. I hate that I still care about you.

Do you seriously think taking an interest in the kids means anything now that they are almost adults.where were you when they needed you? You say it’s not fair that I took them on vacations and they aren’t spending time with you? Well then plan a freaking trip with them. Don’t just invite them over sporadically and take them to work with you. Why would they want to spend time with you when you take and never give. Do you know their friends names or their teachers names? Do you know what shows they binge watch or what video games they play? Be a man...be a father. Don’t be a whiny little girl saying your kid is hurting your feelings. How’s your relationship with your dad btw. Yeah...I thought so. I pray every day that they don’t inherit your evil traits. My faith tells me they will be ok despite you.

I read your last email out loud to my parents. We all had a great laugh. Thanks for that! You've also provided us with a new inside joke which will surely give us many more.

By the way, you communicate like a 12 year old girl.

YOU are such a fucking weirdo

They're hurting! You saw that tonight. You see their pain. Their faces crumpling as they try to work out why daddy doesn't just live with them like other daddies. Our baby begging you to stay. How is this ok???

Have courage fanny fizz

Cry and then live

Be free

If you're happy and you know it over think

These are snippets of the messages she sent you willing you to leave your children, willing you to hurt them yet again, knowing they were in pain.

How do these not make you sick to the stomach? How can you look her in the eye knowing that our babies pain was something she was more than happy with.

She lost nothing. Nothing at all. And my babies cry,

Another family event you weren't invited to.. Everyone was there...but you. And you know what? people aren't asking about you anymore. You are a non-entity, unimportant, not missed.

How does that make you feel?

I'll tell you how it makes me feel. Sad. It wasn't supposed to be like this. 40 years together and you aren't being included in the life celebrations of your children by their choice.

Someday I hope to hear how it made you feel.

I can’t deal with your moods and grumpiness today. And yesterday. and the day before. The more I detatch, the bitchier you get. You make this IHS suck. Go kick rocks.

I have the money you spent on those invoices for 3k. They reimbursed the payment to me a lot sooner then you thought. I am in no hurry to let you know and might sit on it for a couple of weeks. See how secrets suck?

You are a stupid idiot

You have thrown away our chance of happiness

For sex with a dumb slapper

You have a disabled child and a new baby

What you have done is unforgivable to them

Let alone to me

You are not psychologically normal

[This message edited by balloons at 2:30 AM, July 23rd (Monday)]

You are a stupid shithead

I hope all the fucking you got is worth the major ass-fucking you are going to get from my attorney. Judges do not like liars. You are fucking yourself worse that you can imagine, you slimy piece of shit. Our poor accountant is horrified she was fooled by you. Another innocent victim of Mr. Bleep. You are your own private shit show.

You are going to lose everything. Everything, fucker. I'm not the doormat I was the past 15 years. I'm up, and I'm fighting, and I'm going to ruin you. RUIN YOU. You are fucked.

Feeling poorly again, having two little ones does this to you. I stupidly have kept trying to tell you that I'm feeling rubbish over the last few days... I hoped you'd care... ask after me... offer to help with the boys... I know you'll do it if I ask, but I wanted it to come from you. I guess I just wanted to glimpse the old you, just for a moment...

You are a shithead

What are you up to? Do you think I am sticking around? I'm just waiting for the paperwork. I'm glad we're getting along, but I'm not staying. I've come so far and you're just getting started. You're about 2 1/2 years too late. Maybe if you had tried from the start. Maybe if you had tried that first year. Maybe if you tried with our 3rd marriage counselor. But you didn't. That's not what happened. It's too late.

What the hell? This hell never stops. I found your new SD card that goes back to 2016.

The SLUT in a bikini at 63 years of age. I am glad she picks a 16 yr olds bathing suit. What a pleasure to look at her. You must be soooo proud. I hope you both rot in hell.