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PricklePatch ( member #34041) posted at 2:08 AM on Thursday, February 2nd, 2017
Thanks for the update. Will be sending you mojo.
little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 4:53 PM on Monday, February 13th, 2017
I found this after the OW sister message thread was posted. All caught up. Wow. IDE, you are handling all of this so awesomely. Hope all goes well tomorrow!!
Failure is success if we learn from it.
sparkysable ( member #3703) posted at 6:24 PM on Monday, February 13th, 2017
So you have court tomorrow, correct?
D-day OW#1 2/2004;D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
earthangel ( member #44357) posted at 8:06 PM on Monday, February 13th, 2017
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and sending strength, hugs and positive thoughts !
Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it’s bad - it's experience.
DelicateLikeU ( member #45777) posted at 9:01 PM on Monday, February 13th, 2017
I just read this whole thread. I..just...wow. Your XPOS and his POSOW deserve everything they've got coming. 
Tomorrow's your big day. Everthing's prepared and your attorney's good to go. Your babies are safe and with you.You do your thing honey. Sending love, support and super mojo to you and your sweet DDs. You got this. ((((I_D_E & DDs))))
[This message edited by DelicateLikeU at 3:02 PM, February 13th (Monday)]
Me: BS DDay: 02/18/2014
Him: WS Double Betrayal Affair for 3 years
I_Do_Exist (original poster member #24196) posted at 11:48 PM on Monday, February 13th, 2017
Thanks so much for the mojo!
Yes, the first hearing is tomorrow 2/14. It's not particularly important though, so I'm not nervous (much). We're just learning the opinion of the court-ordered social worker regarding whether or not she thinks xWH and I are capable of resolving our issues via mediation.
The social worker met with xWH and me (separately) two weeks ago and then submitted a report to the court regarding her opinion. I'm curious about her opinion, of course, but my attorney says it doesn't really matter. We *know* meaningful mediation is not possible with xWH. So, we will press on.
The big hearing is on 2/27. That's when I'll learn if the judge is going to grant me temporary sole custody as it relates to getting my DDs back in counseling *and* I'll learn if the judge is going to order a psychological evaluation for xWH.
I'm keeping my head down, remaining quiet, steeling myself emotionally, preparing myself mentally, and crossing all my fingers and toes.
Thanks SI family -- I'll post updates.
[This message edited by I_Do_Exist at 6:16 PM, February 13th (Monday)]
Me: BW 46 determined & healing
Him: xWH 48 bipolar & NPD
Ours: 20-year marriage and 2 beautiful school-age daughters
2007-2013: 2 d-days; 2 secretaries in their 20s; 2 attempts at R
2015: D-day 3 w/secretary 3; game over; divorce final Oct 2015
MadOldBat ( member #44146) posted at 11:53 PM on Monday, February 13th, 2017
I've got everything crossed for you too IDE,
Stay strong and calm.
Big hugs for you and DDs.
MOB x
Keeping my chin(s) up whilst getting divorced.
PricklePatch ( member #34041) posted at 3:59 AM on Tuesday, February 14th, 2017
Yourin my thoughts daily. Mojo.
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 7:19 AM on Tuesday, February 14th, 2017
Huge hugs and MOJO your way!
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 11:13 AM on Tuesday, February 14th, 2017
Sending all good thoughts and loads of mojo!!!
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
risingfromashes ( member #3903) posted at 1:20 PM on Tuesday, February 14th, 2017
imagoodwitch ( member #23375) posted at 1:22 PM on Tuesday, February 14th, 2017
Ordinary average everyday sane psycho super goddess
Hawke ( member #47517) posted at 4:20 PM on Tuesday, February 14th, 2017
I'm sending you tons of mojo. I know you and your lawyer are prepared, but a little luck can't hurt.
Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)
shakentocore ( member #46124) posted at 2:56 PM on Thursday, February 16th, 2017
DDay - Christmas 2014. Working on R.
cmego ( member #30346) posted at 8:37 PM on Friday, February 17th, 2017
IDE...I just read this thread, what an ass.
Last year I survived a 7 month court battle with ex over relocation. Similar asshole who mostly ignores his kids. He lived 2.5 hours away from them for 6 years and refused to allow me to relocate so I would have more support. He assumed because he saw his kids occasionally and paid support that he had ultimate rights. He countersued me for 50% custody (I have had primary custody for 7 years).
I requested the Guardian Ad Litem who did a thorough eval and sided with me. Kids teachers became involved, all siding with me. But, I swear the best thing I did was hire a PI to follow him. I kept that info very close to me, I did not want him tipped off. He had no idea until the witness list was released a few days before trial. Guess what? Suddenly he was willing to consider relocation. After 18 months of me trying to get his permission....the threat of the PI going on the stand was the straw.
We also did a "pre-trial" with a retired judge during a settlement conference. Basically a retired judge from that district hears the case and lets you know what his/her ruling would have been. That judge also ruled in my favor, the GAL was in my favor...and ex continued on believing the rest of us were all wrong.
Until the PI.
Just sayin.
Hang in there.
me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced
I_Do_Exist (original poster member #24196) posted at 6:22 PM on Saturday, February 18th, 2017
Quick update: The 2/14 hearing was canceled on the day of the hearing due to an unrelated issue with the courthouse. So nothing new to report. Many thanks for thinking about me and my girls.
Me: BW 46 determined & healing
Him: xWH 48 bipolar & NPD
Ours: 20-year marriage and 2 beautiful school-age daughters
2007-2013: 2 d-days; 2 secretaries in their 20s; 2 attempts at R
2015: D-day 3 w/secretary 3; game over; divorce final Oct 2015
chopper ( member #5772) posted at 2:29 AM on Monday, February 20th, 2017
Keeping you and the girls in my thoughts!
Me BS(52) (39 at DD)
WH passed away on 3/21/2013(52) (44 at DD)
2 Kids S(27) D(24) (14 and 11 at DD)
"To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved."–George MacDonald
"Not being able to govern events, I govern myself." –
ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 9:06 AM on Monday, February 20th, 2017
Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now
I_Do_Exist (original poster member #24196) posted at 5:08 AM on Wednesday, February 22nd, 2017
I received xWH's first round of legal paperwork today. I was relieved to find that it is sloppy and brief. His position can be summarized as follows:
1) The only "real" issue in our divorce is that I "cannot accept" that xWH had an affair while we were married, that he chose to leave me to be with OW3 and, as a result, I am "obsessed" with OW3.
2) Regarding xWH's mental health, he used the classic "I know you are but what am I?" defense. In my counterclaim, I listed no less than 25 specific incidents demonstrating xWH's lack of judgment and complete lack of parental responsibility. xWH responded to everything with one sentence: "I'm not mentally ill, IDE is."
3) Regarding his failure to pack DD7's rescue inhaler on the red-eye flight from Maui: "IDE's focus on this issue is nothing more than an effort to place xWH in a bad light. xWH did not give the inhaler to DD7 for the flight because it was not needed and xWH did not believe the inhaler would pass through security."
In case there was any doubt xWH is NPD, in his brief affidavit, xWH found a way to include that he has "elite status" with the airline and, therefore, he is certain DDs received top-notch care from the flight attendant during their solitary red-eye flight on Thanksgiving . . . because, of course, their father is so elite, important, and ABSENT. 
[This message edited by I_Do_Exist at 11:13 PM, February 21st (Tuesday)]
Me: BW 46 determined & healing
Him: xWH 48 bipolar & NPD
Ours: 20-year marriage and 2 beautiful school-age daughters
2007-2013: 2 d-days; 2 secretaries in their 20s; 2 attempts at R
2015: D-day 3 w/secretary 3; game over; divorce final Oct 2015
MadOldBat ( member #44146) posted at 5:41 AM on Wednesday, February 22nd, 2017
Good grief IDE.
Bipolar grandiosity in action.
My STBXWH also has bipolar disorder.
I understand.
Hugs, MOB x
Keeping my chin(s) up whilst getting divorced.
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