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I need some support. I’m so sad, so devastated. Our Saint Bernard has been having issues with his back left leg for about a year. The vet thought it was a sprain - he’s 220 lbs, so a giant breed. The last two months he’s been more lame than usual, so we decided to do x-rays. Turns out he has bone cancer, and it has metastasized to other organs. Apparently bone cancer is very aggressive. They’ve given him max 2 months to live. The cancer has compromised the bone, it’s weak and since he’s 220 lbs, we worry that he could break that bone. Amputation is not an option because he’s just too big. He’s clearly in pain. We have decided to let him go peacefully via euthanasia. I’m absolutely gutted. I’ve cried all day. My face is so puffy, my eyes are so swollen. I’m such an ugly crier. We are not okay. We are extremely devastated. Our vet will meet us on Sunday at the clinic. She is absolutely gutted too - she’s been our vet for 11 years. When we told her what the specialist determined, she cried with us. It’s just so unfair. I look at my big beautiful Saint Bernard and just feel my heart breaking inside. They say they most you’ll get out of a giant breed is about 8 years, 10 if you’re lucky. We had 4 and I feel so robbed. This is just so unfair. I want to be selfish and keep him. But he’s clearly in pain and suffering. I hate this so much. Please tell me this gets better. I will have to say goodbye to him on Sunday and I’m not ready. I’m so not ready😭😭😭😭.

((((Blackbird))))

Can you talk this over with the vet and maybe have a home euthanasia, to spare the big dog that painful last trip? You may feel better about giving him that option.

Dogs are stoic, so if he is clearly showing you he's in pain, it must be significant, right? Splinting the leg I presume would likely bother him if it already hurts, and I assume you're already giving him pain meds. I'm sure you don't want to deal with the what-ifs of him suffering a catastrophic bone break. I am not sure what we would do, but if letting nature take its course is going to be traumatic and prolong untreatable pain....

So young, 4 years old, and it started at 3? So sorry!! We lost our dear old dog to a sudden hemangiosarcoma we'd no idea he had, that ruptured internally and he died at home of blood loss, the vet said. We never wanted to make that life-ending decision for him, but I tell you, watching his last 24 hours was grim.

No easy answers. But I feel for you!!

(((((Blackbird)))))))

I just went through losing my girl and we knew it was coming for more than a year andni too ugly cried and had a swollen face for a few days.

I also have had Danes and the unfortunate truth in giant breeds is they do have a much shorter life span. It doesn't make 9t any easier either.

I hope you get to say goodbye in a peaceful way.

(((((Blackbird)))))

I'm so very sorry.

We lost our St.Bernard a couple years ago.

It's so unfair that they leave is way to soon. It's the part of pet ownership that's difficult to accept.

((((((Blackbird25))))))

I am so so sorry. My Newfoundlands aren't that big, but I am lucky they are still here at 11 and 10. Big, gentle, fluffy, drooly babies will break your heart. I will be thinking of you tomorrow. ((Blackbird25))

I'm so sorry. It's the worst part of loving our fur babies so much. As much as it hurts you are doing what is best for him. My heart goes out to you. You will be in my thoughts.

(((Blackbird)))

I am so sorry. I lost my indoor cat QT at just 4 years old and I had only had her a year. Cats can live into their late teens,so this was way too young. It is so unfair. And it hurts so so much.

You obviously love your pup so much since you are willing to help him even though it hurts you. That is beautiful. You gave him a great life and I know he loves you back.

Take care and have grace with yourself. It is real grief.
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So sorry for your loss. I hope Sunday is peaceful.

Sending ((virtual hugs))
So very sorry.

I understand only too well, having lost two to osteosarcoma. Got "lucky" with the first one - she managed to live another 7 months after diagnosis, and she was 8 when diagnosed. They say that it moves more quickly in the young dogs as their metabolism is faster. I also did a lot diet-wise and supplement-wise to try to do whatever I could to slow it. The 2nd, more recent one - I had my suspicions. He was a little lame off and on, and I had put off x-raying. Just didn't want to know yet. And then he just walked outside one night and his leg broke, and that was it really. I had no choice then.

You don't want that to happen your buddy. These choices that we have to make for our pets are devastating, but loving even if it doesn't feel like it. I'm really sorry.

Thank you all for your beautiful words of support.
Today was a day spent just for Dexter. I loved on him every second that he let me lol
I am struggling because I’ve never ever had to go through this in my entire life. It feels so unfair, like this is a terrible dream.
Husband is working on shift at the fire department, he wasn’t able to take the day off so he’s trying to hold it together the best he can while still performing his job.
Sunday we take our gentle giant to the clinic and we’ll say our goodbyes. I told my husband I plan to be there every single second until my baby dog takes his last breath. I want him to know/feel that we were there with him from the beginning all the way to the end.
From the day we brought him home in May 2019, I captured his life with us on social media and shared all his crazy shenanigans. He is so loved by so many - and by so many people who never even met him. That’s how special of a dog he was. So when I posted this news, we have received a tremendous outpouring of so much love and support. Calls, texts, messages - it makes me feel so good that my boy was so, so loved. He will leave a GIANT sized hole in my heart that’s for sure.
Thank you again for your kind words. I sincerely appreciate it.

BB

I am so so very sorry. There is just no words when we lose "someone" that so unselfishly loves us with their whole heart.

Please let us know how you’re doing.

Sunday 10/8/23 at 9:32am my big beautiful gentle giant Dexter took his final breaths while I held his head in my lap. It was the most traumatic thing I've ever had to do. This loss is so heavy. I'm struggling, but I know I have to go through this. I'm feeling all the feels. The house is empty, the silence is deafening. No more giant paws padding throughout the house, no more fluffy hair balls to swiffer up. I was actually looking for hair fluffs this morning and almost had a panic attack because I can't find any!!! I actually looked behind the nightstand and could see some back there - I don't want to vacuum them up just yet. The back sliding glass door and our two front glass panes next to the front door have Dexter nose prints on them. My husband used to be the one to clean the glass - yesterday I told him, not yet - please not yet. Please leave the nose prints up for a while. I need to see them. His body gets picked up from the vet office today for cremation. I hope that we get his remains back soon. I NEED to have him back home with me. I think I'll feel better knowing that he's HOME with us. I don't know if that makes sense, but it makes sense to me. I am taking it hour by hour to be honest. My husband said we need to get away just the two of us and I totally agree. I need some downtime to just reflect, and have some time alone just us.

[This message edited by Blackbird25 at 4:24 PM, Tuesday, October 10th]

BB-
When my house burned down in the wildfire,I had 20 minutes to evacuate. I got my cat,my computer and hard drive, passport, etc. Not much.
But I also grabbed the ashes from a previous cat— I couldn’t leave him! People looked at me like I was nuts— I lost everything I owned and that is what i saved? But no regrets. He was important to me and he and the cat who died after the fires are on a shelf. I still talk to them (wonder what my current pets think about that) every now and then, and it has been YEARS. PETS are important to us - the human-pet bond is amazing.

It is heartbreaking and takes time to get used to the silence. Allow yourself to grieve as much as you need - it can be as long or longer than what we grieve for people. You did right by your dog. He’ll be waiting over the rainbow bridge for you.

(You get over the fluff everywhere sooner ;-) housekeeping gets a lot easier!)

-BB (the other one :-) )

Blackbird, I read your post and it brought tears to my eyes. Such a sad day when we lose our best friends. The pain of missing them never goes away completely.

Blackbird, I am so sorry for your loss. Just remember you did what was best for him as hard as it was. You loved him enough to let him go and you were there with him until the end. He knew you were there and I'm sure that was a comfort for him. Me and my DH had a scare with our fur baby not long ago. She's been diagnosed with cancer and we were prepared to say goodbye but, with a LOT of help from my MIL, we were able to get it treated. We probably have a few more years with her (she's now about 13) even though they weren't able to get all of it. I know when the time finally comes, there's no way we WON'T be there for her. Again, my condolences. Just know that it will get better and you'll remember the happy times.