This mother fucker got his divorce papers served. He knew they were coming.
The script all along, has been the same tired one that you all know. He was never the problem. It was his circumstances. It was me. I was the problem. And all he had to do, in order to lead a fulfilled happy life, was change women. Well I guess he learned the grass isn't greener. Who knew that running from your problems and using another woman to do so, wouldn't end well?
He starts texting me the day he got the papers. "Mistakes were made. I made a lot of bad choices. In the past I have blamed you or justified them but there is no justifying them. It's too bad I had to fuck everything up to learn certain things. I don't regret having married you (this is trying to walk back things he said 4 years ago)."
It's quite clear to me, and it's been clear for a while now, that he's very unhappy with his choice and I guess the grass isn't as green as he thought it would be. I started hearing, "I miss talking to you", etc etc. I've been ignoring him mostly and just getting on with my awesome life and the more I ignore him, the more he tries to talk to me.
That last thing is what fired me up. "I don't regret having married you". When he left, he told me, "I regret marrying you, I was never happy in 24 years, she was always my soulmate and if I'd been able to find her at any point in the past 24 years, I'd have left you then."
So now he's trying to walk that back. He's trying to walk it all back. He said a shitload of things about regret and remorse, of course not a single apology. Not the words, "I'm sorry." But it's very clear that he's hinting around that he's learned his lesson and he wishes he could get a do-over.
I'm happy that he's unhappy. I'm glad. That man destroyed me, and I stayed destroyed for a long fucking time.
I twisted the knife a few times and I have no regrets. Just said casual, innocent things that I knew was pouring salt in his wounds. I fucking enjoyed that a lot. You just don't even know.
He tries to engage all the time and I ignore him. It's clear to anyone that he's terribly lonely, I guess Snag isn't the soulmate companion he thought she would be. He is wildly curious about my life. I don't know what the fuck he thought I've been doing this whole time. Just sitting in a darkened room rocking back and forth? No motherfucker, I fixed myself. I unfucked myself, that's why we're getting divorced now, but you don't get to hear any details.
One of the things I said to him, was, "You destroyed every relationship that mattered. Your kids want nothing to do with you, you will never see your grandkids, and they are such a joy. So much has happened with me that I don't tell you about, that you will never know about, and you didn't value or deserve me either. I listen to your bullshit but I tell you nothing about my life. You don't get to know my joys and triumphs, you don't get to know about me. You don't rate to know. You are literally the only person on earth who thinks that she was worth giving all that up for. So I hope that you have a really happy life, because it only cost you everything."
I also said, "You are incredibly selfish. You chased after what you thought you "deserved" at the expense of everyone else's pain. But what you did not deserve was me and the kids." He was quiet for a minute and then he said, "I don't disagree."
But the fucking thing is, once again, he doesn't feel bad about the pain he's caused. He doesn't feel bad that he devastated me. He doesn't feel bad that he broke our son's heart. He doesn't feel bad that he's missed 4 years of our amazing wonderful grandkids. HE FEELS BAD FOR HIMSELF. It's all about HIS pain. Once again it's just "poor me, I made a bed that I now don't want to sleep in".
Mother fucker! I can't wait til this fucking divorce is final.
