Topic is Sleeping.
GotTheShaft (original poster member #52466) posted at 5:15 AM on Monday, August 31st, 2020
My 2-1/2 year relationship ended abruptly on Friday night. I am hurting. Not quite as bad as finding out about xWW infidelity, but this pain is rough. Just needed to put it out there.
bewuzzled ( member #31584) posted at 5:36 AM on Monday, August 31st, 2020
I'm sorry 
Tough night huh? I'm having one of those myself. Hang in there... You know the only way is through, there are no shortcuts unfortunately. Breathe and distract is my current strategy.
[This message edited by bewuzzled at 11:37 PM, August 30th (Sunday)]
fWW/BW (me) 42 now MH
BH/WH MH (him) 42 (StuckOnTheFence)
2 kids (21& 18)
D day #1 1/20/11
D day #2 1/28/11
I am seeking, I am striving
I am in it with all my heart.
babypuke ( member #56585) posted at 12:06 PM on Monday, August 31st, 2020
2,5 years is a significant long time and if it ended abruptly it is very overwhelming, as Pat Benatar said man, Love is a Battlefield, strength! Not having a relationship also has its benefits and good things, no chains and all is for you, be good to yourself (buy that motorcycle or boat you always wanted) and enjoy your freedom brother,strength!
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 1:21 PM on Monday, August 31st, 2020
Oh man, I'm sorry. Two and a half years is a long time to have it abruptly end.
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
newlife03 ( member #56527) posted at 3:39 PM on Monday, August 31st, 2020
I feel your pain. I'm on a "break" after 9 years and expect that it will go to a full on break up. Stay strong and keep busy, it's all we can do. 
Me - 50
Kids 25, 22, 18
1st DDay in 2006, 2nd in 2007
D in 2009
Happily Committed to SO since 2011
devotedman ( member #45441) posted at 3:49 PM on Monday, August 31st, 2020
Hang in there! I know that it's rough.
Me: 2xBS b 1962 xWW after 2 decades, xWGF after almost 1.
Amelia Pond: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. I'm still cooking.
ENFP-A. Huh.
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 4:07 PM on Monday, August 31st, 2020
Big hugs - that is tough :(
LoveTKO ( member #54298) posted at 4:54 PM on Monday, August 31st, 2020
I'm sorry you're going through this...
Me: BW
Him: FWH
LTA one year with local MOW
Dday: 12/4/15
Done - separated
Chili ( member #35503) posted at 6:25 PM on Monday, August 31st, 2020
GotTheShaft: Crap. That stinks.
Ditto to: bewuzzled, newlife03 and everyone else struggling with this.
I've been kind of loosely monitoring things here on SI and IRL with relationships during these strange days. I think it's some combination of "true selves" being revealed, coping skills, emotional strength/maturity and just the spotlight in general. Most people can't "pretend" for sustained periods right now.
I too wonder if every one of my relationships is going to come out the other side of this fully intact.
2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Took off flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett
Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 9:36 PM on Monday, August 31st, 2020
Oh no, I hate to hear news like this. I am so sorry you are hurting.
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
GotTheShaft (original poster member #52466) posted at 12:46 AM on Tuesday, September 1st, 2020
Thanks for all the responses everyone. This has been rough. A different kind of rough because I’m going to miss her kids and my kids will miss her. In addition to me missing her. And of course there was no infidelity to point to, so I’m trying to piece together what was truly responsible. I’m hurting for sure, but I seem to feel best as I talk it out with friends.
Justsomeguy ( member #65583) posted at 5:03 AM on Tuesday, September 1st, 2020
Sorry for your hurt. Sucks, I know. Stay strong and keep moving forward. Wish I had something to say that would make it better, but I. Struggling as well.
I'm an oulier in my positions.
Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.
Divorced
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 6:57 AM on Tuesday, September 1st, 2020
Just sending some support- very sorry. Take care of yourself.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
BobPar ( member #62993) posted at 5:56 PM on Tuesday, September 1st, 2020
That sucks. I'm sorry you are feeling that pain.
DDay 1 (AP1) and 2 (AP2) 2015 DDay 3 (AP 3) and 4 (AP4) 2016There was some overlap with 3 and 4)False R 2016Suspect more from exWW
Booyah ( member #60124) posted at 2:43 AM on Wednesday, September 2nd, 2020
Sorry to hear this.
Hang in there!!!
GotTheShaft (original poster member #52466) posted at 3:29 PM on Wednesday, September 2nd, 2020
I just sent her a text message to see if we can talk. I know she has to still love me - can't shut that off after only 5 days. If I get the chance to talk with her, I know I can make things right. Send me good vibes that she will be receptive to talk.
newlife03 ( member #56527) posted at 3:59 PM on Wednesday, September 2nd, 2020
Did she respond to your text?
Me - 50
Kids 25, 22, 18
1st DDay in 2006, 2nd in 2007
D in 2009
Happily Committed to SO since 2011
GotTheShaft (original poster member #52466) posted at 5:26 PM on Wednesday, September 2nd, 2020
Not yet. I'm sure she needs time to think and decide if she really thinks whatever issues she had will be any different this time around.
newlife03 ( member #56527) posted at 8:35 PM on Wednesday, September 2nd, 2020
I think you deserve an explanation, especially after two years, and hopefully she'll at least respond to this initial text and tell you what's been going on with her.
If I get the chance to talk with her, I know I can make things right.
Unfortunately, if she's truly done there won't be much that you can say to convince her of this. Again, time and hopefully a response will tell for sure. Sending good vibes your way.
Me - 50
Kids 25, 22, 18
1st DDay in 2006, 2nd in 2007
D in 2009
Happily Committed to SO since 2011
GotTheShaft (original poster member #52466) posted at 6:35 PM on Thursday, September 3rd, 2020
Thanks newlife03,
Still no response. I actually sent a more heartfelt text yesterday, but still no response. I agree she should give me the decency of at least a "no" response after 2-1/2 years. We are both 46 years old - not 20-somethings. That's actually what is giving me hope that she's still thinking and cooling down. If she were truly "done", you'd think she would at least respond and say that. I'm still believing there's hope.
Topic is Sleeping.
