Newest Member: 30yearsofheartache


Think the cut and run is to avoid someone really getting to know me and telling me I'm not good enough? Can anyone relate?

I'm at the spot where I overthink things.
I've been with someone a few months. Should I have a better handle on how I feel about this person? She is sweet, kind, pretty, good personality and character. I feel like I don't know how to do this relationship thing, like it is an out of body experience that I am observing. I wonder if I'm at the point where I could really be known and I could be told I'm not good enough, so I'm uncomfortable.

I have a lot of stress going on right now too, one of which is my divorce court date coming up in a couple of weeks. This court appearance may or may not solve some or all of the issues. It is possible another date may be needed.

What are the steps in relationship? The landmarks that you can establish that you see yourself with a person. I don't know that I can define how the relationship feels besides that it works and I keep waiting for it not to work.

Can anyone relate to any of that?

4 comments posted: Tuesday, September 7th, 2021

Serendipity and sorting relationships, any advice?

I'm not sure how much of a lead up to write...

I've been on a few dates with one woman and she is very nice. Pretty, kind, elegant. I'm curious about her but I'm not sure.

Another was a co-worker that is now working somewhere else and all other coworkers are saying we should date. We worked together for 4.5yrs during a lot of my XWW affairs and my dealing with it. We had great banter, she's pretty, and we know each other really well. But she has a cat (I'm allergic) and a young son. I'm curious but not sure. My daughter said I should date this woman and my XWW had believed I was dating her early in our separation and the XWW said she approved because she'd be nice to our kids (I totally didn't because of work place rules). My kids are late teens. We recently went for a walk and text here and there throughout the week.

What does a normal connection look like? What does it not look like? None of these are that.

Also, I sent an archeological link to a woman who I had dated last summer. Last summer, she was going through a stressful time with selling a house, getting her resistant son to move out, and she had just gotten out of a year long relationship and there were attachments she hadn't worked through. We parted amicably but sadly for me.

She responded to my link, where I thought I would just leave it as an "enjoy, from a fellow nerd", and we ended up texting for an hour. At that point, she said she was tired and I wasn't sure to read it as her long day of work or announcing an end to the conversation. I asked if I should let her go? Usually at the time we were talking she'd be getting ready for bed but we texted another hour and I expected her to say "yes". We continued to text for another hour.

I feel we connect well and it feels like there may be some interest on her part. Hard to know for sure. Do I leave it for her to text? Or do I follow up later this week?

6 comments posted: Tuesday, January 5th, 2021

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