Bingo posted 11/20/2020 16:01 PM

My 73 year old xwh has moved in with his 31 year old girlfriend and her 4 small children under the age of 9.

Please, please....how can someone be this stupid?

I just can't wrap my head around this.

Evertrying posted 11/20/2020 16:12 PM

OMG. That's just creepy.
Obviously he's either "Grandpa" or a sugar daddy.

Wrong. Just wrong on so many levels.

Westway posted 11/20/2020 16:29 PM

Sugar granddaddy. What an idiot. He's an idiot.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Make sure you hire the meanest shark lawyer you can find and skin him.

brokenInDenver posted 11/20/2020 16:31 PM

What the hell are they going to talk about? What could they possibly have in common? Can you imagine bringing him home to meet the parents? I mean there's a good chance they'd be younger than him.

Wow. They are both stupid.

Bingo posted 11/20/2020 16:35 PM

Well, we've been divorced since March of this year so I know I shouldn't be concerned about what he does, but I'm still trying to heal....

This 31 year old was the AP at the time of our divorce, too.

And the thing is....he doesn't like children! Figure that one out.

Maybe it's penance in his mind. God, who knows?

DevastatedDee posted 11/20/2020 16:35 PM

Ew. Well, I know which one of you had the brains in the marriage.

Bingo posted 11/20/2020 16:38 PM

And he told me earlier that he was older than her grandfather...so yeah, he's older than her parents.

So fucked up...

Bingo posted 11/20/2020 16:45 PM

Thanks for letting me vent, guys!

I know we spend way too much headspace on the question "why" or "how" and there aren't any answers that will make us feel better.

I've been better about that...but I didn't think he would actually move in with her, especially since he just bought and renovated a house 3 hours away from our/her original town. And now they're living together in that same original town.

Crazy..

But, thanks for the sounding board.

redfish posted 11/20/2020 16:50 PM

Ha ha, he can be so stupid because he is using the wrong body part to make decisions. She is probably not that stupid and using him to feed her children. You can either sit back and watch the show but I would turn it off and live your life.

crazyblindsided posted 11/20/2020 17:12 PM

I cannot believe how crazy this is It's obvious she is using him to pay for her kids, but that's not your problem anymore.

I agree with the poster to turn it off and live your life. There just is no end to the lows a WS will go.

Medusara posted 11/21/2020 09:07 AM

Having dated people much, much older than me (like when I was 25 and dating a great grandfather...) , and having made a habit of getting involved with unavailable people, I could maybe weigh in a little from her side. Does she have attachment problems, by any chance?! Maybe some “daddy issues” there? If so, and he’s abusing that, you are sooo much better off. Otherwise maybe she’s just mercenary, who knows. But I’ve always believed that people who want a real relationship don’t get involved with unavailable people - if she was seeing a married man, she probably didn’t anticipate him moving in with her!!

maise posted 11/21/2020 09:29 AM

Saw this scenario play out live once. Coworker in his 70’s with a young woman that was my age at the time. I was 25 or so. She took him for EVERYTHING he had and used him as a babysitter. Her intentions in that scenario were clear as day. She’d come into our office asking if we knew places to buy this or that, or to get her hair done or something. She got nice cars from him and all. He couldn’t afford those cars, but he gave her whatever she asked for to the point of having absolutely nothing but debt. She left him by way of telling him a family member was sick so she had to “go out of town”. Eventually communication dwindled and she was gone. Sad part was the office said this wasn’t the first young woman he got involved with this way. Whatever it was he was so desperate for must have been worth anything to him...

I’m so sorry you’re having to work through the emotional fall out from such absolutely ridiculous choices.

Gumdropped posted 11/21/2020 11:49 AM

This begs a huge bowl of popcorn and a comfy chair to watch this implode........

The1stWife posted 11/21/2020 12:13 PM

It’s hard to watch people make OBVIOUS mistakes but you just have to accept it.

A few observations:

He’s in love and their “love” is different.

It’s not like he’s living in reality - he’s built a fantasy for himself regarding this relationship.

He believes she truly loves him. Maybe she does. But then again maybe she doesn’t.

He doesn’t know how to be smart and protect himself. Financially or legally. Is she now the beneficiary of his will? Not that he would have anything left to leave her b/c he’s spending so much now on her but you have to wonder.

After my grandmother was widowed a second time she had a gentleman friend for a year or so. He kept pestering her to get married but she kept putting him off. She told us she felt he only marrying her for her money and shine he was good to her and treated her well, she didn’t feel the same about him. And she was in her 70s lol. She wasn’t stupid that’s for sure.

Happenedtome2 posted 11/21/2020 12:47 PM

I had to read that a couple of times to make sure I was seeing it right..... Say hello to "new grandpa". Hopefully your name isn't attached to the crap he's gonna lose when she splits....

Bingo posted 11/21/2020 17:24 PM

Happentome...nope, I already have half of everything from the divorce so there's that...

When I found out about this "friend", I read all these texts where they were both pretending to be these characters from the "Lord of the Rings"...if that tells you anything!

And the fantasy is continuing....guess Sam and Rosie are gonna get married, live in Middle Earth, and have 13 children ....well, minus the 4 she already has!

Phantasmagoria posted 11/21/2020 21:11 PM

Poor kids! What pitiful frames of reference to learn from.

OwningItNow posted 11/21/2020 22:25 PM

What do the other people in his life think about this--children, family, friends? Have they supported him or bailed?

Countingsheep65 posted 11/21/2020 23:51 PM

Yeah Bingo, don’t even try to understand it.

That’s gross.

He’s all in the goodie basket and she’s using him for his money and probably to babysit. It won’t last.

Just be glad your not with him.

Bingo posted 11/22/2020 11:26 AM

OwningItNow:

I don't know what the other people in his life think about it. I do think he's been lying to everyone...his self image is so important to him. I can't imagine that he's telling people the truth!

Back in January, he was looking for a house for all of them. When I asked him how he could be so stupid, he said he was just planning to find a place way out in the country and never come out in public.

What a life....