SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

For me, Infidelity is like Bamboo.

Bamboo is one of the fastest growing plants in the world. Once species of Bamboo can grow nearly 36 inches in a single day. During the Vietnam War it has been alleged that Bamboo was used as a form of torture and execution on soldiers capture by the Viet Cong.

A soldier would be tied up and stretched over some freshly cut and sharpened bamboo. Then the soldier would be left to his fate. Within a day, the bamboo would pierce that soldiers flesh, eventually leading to death.

Infidelity does the same thing. On D-day, the victimized spouse will also find themselves pierced through the heart. The rapidly growing infidelity-bamboo will torture you, and without intervention may lead to the death of the marriage. It is a horrible way to watch something as precious as a formerly committed relationship die. The scars are long-lasting and the pain can also last forever.

What is infidelity like for you.

Pardon me for the painful analogy, but I had time to reminisce this morning and for some reason that illustration popped into mind.

To what would you equate infidelity?

A radioactive dirty bomb

The initial explosion kills thousands of innocents in a horrifying sudden impact.

The toxic radioactive material then poisons a location for thousands of years.

[This message edited by Thumos at 12:12 PM, October 22nd (Thursday)]

The Neverending story.

It is the maggot on a corpse . A sign that something is very unhealthy ...usually dead

Broken ribs. Infidelity is like having broken ribs.

Infidelity is like a dog turd on the Thanksgiving table.

No matter how you dress it up, garnish it, etc., it still ruins the meal.

^^^^^

All of the above with Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop in the background singing "The Song That Never Ends" over and over and over and over.....

It’s like liver and bacon.

It’s smells bad. It tastes bad. Your mother forces you to eat it b/c she believes it is healthy so you choke it down. That’s like false reconciliation.

It never gets any better. You suffer through it. That’s continued living in limbo.

And eventually you abandon ship and walk away and never eat it again. That’s living in reality and realizing you no longer can swallow the lies and crap. And the bad taste of disrespect is never going to go away. You decide to quit eating the crap meal of infidelity disguised as liver & bacon.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 3:46 PM, October 22nd (Thursday)]

The1stWife :

Excellent illustration. Love bacon, hate liver.

Emptiness.

It is walking around knowing your soul has been sucked out of you by the one who was supposed to hold it most dear. It is knowing you are a shell of your former self. It is feeling hallow at all times. It is being constantly haunted by the ghost of their secret life. There is a great void in me. In many ways I walk alone - because during the A there was an entire world going on I had no idea existed.

As maudlin as all that sounds [and it feels worse when it feels at all] that empty does not define me. It does not own me. I am not responsible for it's existence. I am not consumed by it. I am not chained down by it. It simply is. That is not to say it will always be.

And while I won't accept it - I won't pretend it doesn't exist either. I don't nurture it. I don't use unhealthy means to try to fill it. I don't force things in its space just to say I did.

Emptiness.

My WH did a lot of gutter crawling, so it’s like living with a parasite infested sewer rat.

You know that the rat is somewhere scurrying around your Beautiful home at night while you sleep, spreading disease but it shocks you to the core when you come face to face with it.

Infidelity is murder

Adultery is abuse, as I've noted elsewhere.

It shares a lot in common with the praying mantis mating ritual.

It’s like a constant nagging pain that never goes away, no matter how much Tylenol you take.

It's being stabbed through the heart by the person you trusted most in the world. The shock and pain never truly leaves you but you learn to live with the scars.

For me it was falling in a snake pit/ being in the bowels of the world.

I went from blowing raspberries on my baby's belly and having nice people as friends to smokes and mirrors, lies, deceit, gas lighting, under hand shit.

My world literally turned upside down. On dday, the life I knew went BANG. Suddenly I had to fight for custody of my own kids, had no idea if my WH would cut the money to pay the mortgage and the rest, he had no interest in the kids AT ALL ot me. He wanted to be a bachelor again and I was in bis way. Conveniently the OW was only replying to the text and email that I saw, she was a friend, nothing had happened (only 2 walks.

If the OW hadn't texted at the wrong time... the affair would have carried on until she could leave her OBS and then my WH would have left me because (list of crap that didn't please him ie wrong jokes etc). He would have played the "wife is awful" to explain his departure. He would not have seen the kids much neither. Cleaning diapers were not part of his fantasy with living with the OW and neither was it hers. Instead the plans were brought forward and he still left. No idea why the OW didn't shake up with him after all. No idea if it's because I caused so much shit at work for her and WH and she didn't want to be landed with a scorned furious ex wife in the background. It was much better when she could shake my hand, hold my baby, introduce her kids to mine (so they could be friends - didn't know this part) and have a laugh in my back, with WH.

Some people are just NASTY and the best thing is not having them in my life.

A way to express true disgust for someone without speaking the words to their face.

[This message edited by Vomitousmass at 9:54 PM, December 10th (Thursday)]

Abuse that many seemingly decent people ignore or tacitly support.

"If he deliberately hit me in the face in front of you while I was sleeping and you were watching, would you tell me I caused it and I should not hold him accountable...not demand the truth of what happened... that it was just a mistake?"

Me

"Some say love, it is a razor

That leaves your soul to bleed"

The Rose