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Betrayed Womenz Thread

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crazyblindsided posted 11/1/2019 11:56 AM

Cheater has left me feeling like the regular rules society follows donít apply to me.

Yep I have always worked hard to get to where I'm at in my career. I get paid a good salary and am working at a successful company doing what I love to do... design! But yet STBX has managed to make me feel less than because I make a little less than him and he claims he is working more than 40 hours a week when I don't really know what he REALLY is doing during those hours. He plays the victim that he works so hard with no days off and doesn't do anything for himself At one point he said maybe I should start looking for a better job that pays more. WTF!

I have worked 40 hours a week raising my kids like a single mom (he has never pulled the bulk of parenting) and run a household taking care of 4 animals (that he hasn't lifted a finger for). All this while he went and had his fun.


Ugh sorry that got me going on a rant.

Happy Friday ladies hope you all have a badass sparkly day!

Chaos posted 11/1/2019 12:47 PM

Happy Fucking Friday Womenz!

Hopefully a movie is in my future this weekend. I am a HUGE Schwarzenegger fan and the new Terminator is out.

Things have been good in the Land of Chaos.

Lostheart8 posted 11/1/2019 13:35 PM

Happy fucking Friday!

Thanks daisy for sharing. Helps me understand.

Thanks ladies for the FOO input. Yeah youíre all right. At some point when do you become responsible for your shit?

TX big hugs on fish bowl diving. You are courageous!

My exh left the bulk of everyday life to me. At the end he told me I was controlling and domineering. After six months living on his own, he admitted he had no idea how much I did and he was struggling to cope with life. He ďgotĒ it. But it was too late.

I think this cheating stuff can really mess with your head. I find myself rebuilding a part of my self esteem. Whereís the line in all of this shit?

You ladies are kick ass for working so hard.

Crazyblind- rant away. I think I can feel your pain.

You know what I hated the most about my exbf? His work, his stress and struggles were ALWAYS bigger than mine. I would say ...this shitty thing happened at work....he would jump in and tell me how much worse his situation was. Fuck me itís not a competition! Just give me a moment of compassion!

Oh thatís right youíre a cheater....no compassion there.

Oh joy, more bitterness for Friday.

crazyblindsided posted 11/1/2019 13:41 PM

You know what I hated the most about my exbf? His work, his stress and struggles were ALWAYS bigger than mine. I would say ...this shitty thing happened at work....he would jump in and tell me how much worse his situation was. Fuck me itís not a competition! Just give me a moment of compassion!

Oh hell yes their struggles are THE MOST IMPORTANT. My STBX complained 24/7 about his business. How envious he is at others doing what he does better. If I said anything about my day I would get a 'that sucks' then back to his work complaints.

Are they all cut from the same cloth?

Lostheart8 posted 11/1/2019 14:53 PM

Crazyblind - omg! Are you sure you werenít dating Mario?

The same thing! Exbf would go on about how his competition was killing the market place....while he was struggling. Telling me about his peers getting fancy cars, vacation home and joining country clubs.

God forbid .... saying to me...thanks for listening. Or howís work? Sorry youíve got stress with caring for your Mom.

You know what...I didnít give a shit about fucking vacation homes or having multiple expensive cars. Thatís all superficial bullshit. What happened to being content?

Oh thatís right he had meat on the side. Lucky bum. I bet MOW didnít get all the bullshit stories that I listened to.

Oops sorry ... stole your rant.

crazyblindsided posted 11/1/2019 16:25 PM

I didnít give a shit about fucking vacation homes or having multiple expensive cars. Thatís all superficial bullshit. What happened to being content?

Me either *high five* I am more content when I help others. The complete opposite of STBX. He would make fun of me for my help in the community, said I could be making money with my extra time

Lostheart8 posted 11/1/2019 19:11 PM

Crazyblind - what a jerk. And thatís why heís an ex.

Yeah, god forbid, he was proud of you helping out.

Now to get over the hurt and move on.

20yrsagoBS posted 11/1/2019 21:30 PM

Excuse me. But how do we just ďget over itĒ if we donít know what weíre getting over?

cocoplus5nuts posted 11/2/2019 07:51 AM

Now he knows how girls feel when they get stares for their bodies!


Yes! He asked if that was how girls fell all the time, because it felt really awkward to him. Um, yep. And, not to brag, but he's a good looking kid.

Don't get me wrong. I never felt like I was less than. I knew what I was doing was the most important job there is. I chose to give up a very lucrative career to have babies and stay home with them. I never cared much about material things. Sure, I wanted a house big enough for my family with a nice yard to hang out in, but I don't need anything fancy. Just enough. I've be content with less.

My fch has always been a bit materialistic. When we were dating, he would talk about his name brand this or that. I didn't even know the brands. LOL I was not impressed. So, he would've preferred I bring home money. Of course, he had no concept of the cost of infant and childcare.

Once when I complained about not having time for cleaning because of the baby, his suggestion was to put the baby in childcare so I could clean. My response was, "Um, no. If I pay for anything, it will be a cleaning service so I have more time for myself and the baby." Idiot! He learned very quickly that homie don't play that.

To be fair, I did kind of renig on our deal. I told him I would stay home to take care of the babies and the house. Well, that didn't actually happen. I discovered I'm not a good housekeeper at all! I'd much rather do something fun and enjoyable or relaxing than clean.

Our house is a mess all the time. Being a man, fch would come home not having any concept of what it's like caring for a baby or toddler all day, see the mess, and think I did nothing. He didn't express that, but I could tell he didn't like what he saw. I told him that he was welcome to clean. I am a SAHM, not a housewife or maid.


One of the things he had to learn as part of his R work was to not be so judgemental. He thought I was being selfish for not living the way he wanted. He has learned that he was being selfish by expecting me to live for him.

20yrsagoBS posted 11/2/2019 08:10 AM

Coco,

I am a terrible housekeeper too!

I used to muscle my way through it. Then I had my strokes. I can do basic stuff, but I overbuy, so I have clutter. I am forever shredding, organizing, and decluttering. I just canít seem to get ahead of it.

I used to have the best housekeeper! She came twice a month and cleaned my whole house. She retired. I have not found a replacement yet

Lostheart8 posted 11/2/2019 09:01 AM

20yrs - yes.

I was thinking the same thing today.

I donít miss nor want my ex. Yet, Iím fucking jealous that him and MOW are at convention together. The lingering effects of all of this?

Why the fuck am I jealous? Iím baffled at myself.

Iím guessing itís FOO issues.

cocoplus5nuts posted 11/2/2019 09:10 AM

Y'all, the ball is tonight. I can't find a YouTube video for the tape Bob lift. All the ones I've found either use the kits or have duct tape going all the way up over the shoulders.

How am I supposed to do this?

HeHadADoubleLife posted 11/2/2019 09:13 AM

Hold on, going back to the pic of the dress so I can see what would work best

Ok, so since you're going to need it to be strapless none of the fancy over the shoulder tricks will work.

ETA a very important note! Make sure you put bandaids on over your nipples before you put on the duct tape! Unless you want to rip your nipple off later! The gauze of the bandaid helps protect you, and once you put the tape over you won't see the outline of the bandaid through the dress or anything.

The duct tape strapless bra is the oldest and most "primitive" but it works. You're going to put tape on your side, under your armpit, then you pull it across, and you lift your boobs and push them together in position, then pull the tape over them. You have to make sure it is tight, otherwise you won't get the lift you want. Start from just under the line where your breast meets your torso (where the underwire of a bra would normally sit) so that the top of the first piece of duct tape sits just where the underwire would be. That creates an anchor for the rest of your tape to stick to.

Then you have two choices, you either go across the nipples first, or you start from the bottom and work your way up. Since you said you're a 36E (and yes, that is a size ) I suggest the bottom up approach.

If you really need extra support you can make the tape go all the way around, but most people usually just do the front half. You can also see from the image that you can pull the tape up at an angle on the sides to help give a little more lift, but then you'll need to make sure you don't have duct tape making an appearance over the top of your dress under your arm pit, so make sure to trim them down.

Here's a really crude set of images, but it helps show how you have to awkwardly push your boobs up and together while taping in order to get the desired effect.


Here's another one.

The thing this image shows is how once you get the full "bra" on, you can use additional shorter pieces of tape to lift in different areas. See how there is a short piece of tape that is pulling up at an angle? Once you get the "bra" on, you can add pieces like that to help lift, but without going up and over like a strap.

It is best if you get as much of the lift out of the original tape going across though, as that is the base you have to work off of, so you have to make sure the tape is tight enough across your chest first for this to do any good. If you just lay it on top of your breasts without pulling them together and pulling the tape taut over it, you won't get the same effect.

The mistake I most often see people make with any kind of bra taping is that just laying the tape flat down on to your body is going to somehow do anything for lift. You are creating the lift and support with the tape, so it can't just sit on you like a bra does.

Think about it this way... you know those pregnancy belly casts that people do? For those, to get an accurate depiction of what your body looks like, you just lay those strips down flat on your body, no stretching or pulling. So the length of the strips would be exactly the length that it takes to just drape something over your body.

But you want lift and shape. So to get the push up, the tape has to be shorter than it would be to just lay those pieces flat. So if you're doing it right, there will be a section of tape - the part going over your cleavage - that isn't actually touching your body, because it's just holding things up.

Oh and when you're doing it don't stand like this chick with your chest pushed out, it'll be harder to get the tape taut. It's easiest if you kind of bend forward at the waist and let them hang, then use one arm to lift and push together (your left if you're right handed), then use the other hand to place the tape.

ETA:

This is another way to do it, but considering your breast size this won't give you any lift from the bottom, it does however push them together so they appear to sit a little higher.

Basically you put strips across your breast sitting directly over the nipple. You then take another piece of tape and tape it to one breast right on top of the tape that is already there, then pull it as tight as you want, then tape it to the other side. The diagram in this image I personally think the tape is a little too short, I would start from outside of the nipple, about 1/4 of the way from the outside of your breast, then pull it tight across and tape it down the same on the other side, about 1/4 of the way to the edge of your other breast.

[This message edited by HeHadADoubleLife at 10:06 AM, November 2nd (Saturday)]

EllieKMAS posted 11/2/2019 10:56 AM

Coco - how'd the tapey tits work?

Ugh housework. I do like a clean house and I actually don't mind cleaning, but lately I have kinds been in a pit of "what's the fucking point?" so it has been slacking. And I have this stupid huge house that I bought for my dickhole xh. I can't wait til I get to sell it, but have to stay put for at least another 9-12 months.

I'm with you guys - I just want simplicity and contentment. Don't give a fluff about fancy cars and material shit. xwh was always talking about how he was going to invent something and make a million dollars... RME Yeah douche, how the fuck you gonna do that when you can't even make a fucking bed?

HeHadADoubleLife posted 11/2/2019 11:34 AM

xwh was always talking about how he was going to invent something and make a million dollars... RME Yeah douche, how the fuck you gonna do that when you can't even make a fucking bed?
Delusions of grandeur are so entertaining aren't they?

My X did the same shit... he was going to start his own company and move us to Hawaii so we could all live on the beach! Yup, the dude who thinks that leave-in conditioner is when you just put in regular conditioner and leave it in your hair, he's going to start the next big thing in engineering!

Oh, and I forgot, we were going to make a million dollars selling our sex tape! "Our sex is so good, people would pay money to see this! We should film ourselves and sell the tape!" I can't even count how many times I heard that

Don't worry ladies, I never let him record us, so there isn't a HHADL sex tape floating around.

I'm with all you ladies, I also DGAF about material stuff... I like weird little things like a fresh, fluffy towel, some nice smelling candles, new pillows every once in a while when the old ones get too flat. Other than that, I would just like a house full of things that aren't broken or painted on by a man-child.

Chaos posted 11/2/2019 12:09 PM

The duct tape strapless bra is the best! And cheap. Donít forget to stand in a steamy shower to loosen the tape before removing. And have some air on hand for afterward.

I figured Iíd throw that out there since my HHADL sex tape search has turned into a fools errand. But a good ďhow to duct tape your boobsĒ video would be gold. PS - Iím a fan of the U under the boobs. And yeah - always use those bandaids.

Iím a fairly good housekeeper. If I lived alone it would be spotless with everything in its place. Company ready all the time. But a spouse, kids and pets derail that. So I do my best but donít kill my self. And I wonít put my life on hold to clean someone elseís mess.

20yrsagoBS posted 11/2/2019 12:10 PM

Yikes!

The thought of taping my breasts is awful!

Let your meat bags swing free!


I had a reduction in 2005, best thing ever! No sag, permanently perky!


cocoplus5nuts posted 11/2/2019 12:29 PM

Yikes!
The thought of taping my breasts is awful!

Let your meat bags swing free!


I'm with you! That looks painful, and like a lot of work!

I had an augmentation, but 19 years and 3 breastfed babies later, they aren't quite as perky. I can still easily go without a bra though. My fch can't tell the difference.

Where is that sex tape? I want to see it!

I'm the one with all the grand 0lans to make millions. Well, maybe not millions. I do want to open a crossfit box/yoga studio when my fch retires. He thinks I'm crazy.

Oh, and I came up with an idea for sticky yoga gloves like the socks the make. My hands always slip. Turns out those have already been invented.

I am currently getting a spa pedicure, manicure,and waxing for tonight. I hope they don't burn my skin off. That'll look pretty funny.

20yrsagoBS posted 11/2/2019 12:38 PM

Remember, suffering makes you pretty.

WH used to tell DD that when brushing the tangles from her hair


So, DD is stunning.

WH preyed on ugly women. Did he simply prefer those who didnít suffer to better their appearance? Or, was there just so much internal ugly it oozes outward?

crazyblindsided posted 11/2/2019 12:57 PM

"Our sex is so good, people would pay money to see this! We should film ourselves and sell the tape!" I can't even count how many times I heard that

Yup these idiots are so not creative. My STBX Narc SA has said the same thing

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