SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Just the title?

There seems to be lots of movies about almost every life event that are quite realistic depictions, but all the on screen infidelity I've seen seems ridiculous.

I’d refer you to the movie of my life, but it’s stranger than fiction.

"The split" on Hulu which is a series was really well done

As you are in the UK, have you seen Dr Foster?

Anatomy of a Scandal also portraying infidelity as it should be.

[This message edited by Luna10 at 10:49 PM, Thursday, October 5th]

Ah yes, the split was great. I'd forgotten, but I thought the acting was superb.

Luna: yes in the UK and seen both those. Great shows, but it feels a bit to me like BSs are portrayed on screen in a funny way. Like glamorous and clever and relatively OK.

I don't know what I'm expecting though it wouldn't be much of a show if it was just someone sitting in their Pyjamas crying and having PTSD.

It would be good to see someone represent reality a bit more though. The shock and grief isn't depicted like real life. Maybe an unrealistic expectation!

Strangely one of the most realistic things I've seen was on a sitcom. Friends. Ross and the copy girl. We were on a break! Sounds probably stupid given it was a comedy, but I really felt that.

One of the ways I soothe and process things is watching stuff on it, so just wondered if there were some hidden gems out there.

I find Marriage Story with Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson crushing. I can't watch it now.

Unfaithful. Movie from 2002.

Over the years, there have been a few stories on this board that track very close to the plot.

I find Marriage Story with Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson crushing.

This one. I don't think it romanticizes or excuses cheating, but it also makes him (and her) real people, with real flaws.

I saw a movie last night which had many aspects about right. "VIOLENT SUNDAY"

The wealthy owner of a business has a serial cheating wife,

From external appearances the WW should never cheat

The WW is conflicted and wants to leave her affair.

The WW attempts to reconcile and BH offers to take her for a vacation "anywhere".

The BH drinks and has no one to talk to.

People around him know what's going on.

A bit far fetched.....WW is accidentally shot during a bank robbery picking up travelers checks. Consequences yes but this is old testament. I did get a laugh when Lee Marvin shot her in the back.

The Decendants and Marriage Story were good

Not a movie but a series called "scenes from a marriage" starring Jessica Chastain. It’s brutal though - very realistic.

I think "The Way, Way Back" hits the nail on the head when it comes to cheating.

My WW watched "Blind" (Demi Moore, Alec Baldwin) on Saturday and she told me later: "You don't know how to treat women," "You should watch an Amazon/Netflix movie to learn."
At least I play (the bad but) handsome Dylan McDermott...
I guess it's not what you're looking for.

😁

[This message edited by Littlepuppet at 3:57 PM, Monday, October 9th]

the black mirror episode called "The Entire History of You" was pretty darn triggering, watching the main character piece together his wife's affair, and her denials, trickle truthing, covering up, and his desperation to put the puzzle together and figure out the truth.

Heartburn with Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson. It's old, but I still love it. It's based on Nora Ephron's memoir about her marriage to Carl Bernstein (one of the reporters who broke the Nixon/Watergate story.)

Hope Gap with Annette Bening and Bill Nighy. It was tough to watch, but I think a pretty accurate representation. Bening's character, Grace, gets very little sympathy for the way she's been blindsided. We see how the confused and angry BS is so often blamed for not only the cheating of her partner, but also for her reaction to it. We also see how easily the WS is often let off the hook for his destructive lack of character. Nighy's Edward is ineffectual and conflict avoidant, but never called to account for it and how it has led to the loss of connection in the marriage. He presents as the victim of Grace's stronger personality, and like so often we see in real life, gets a pass on it.

The movie itself makes no judgement but rather seems to simply chronicle the events. I have to admit though, I did go and read some reviews after I watched it, and it was shocking to see how many people viewed Grace as the villain of the piece.

Overall, I don't think I'd recommend it for people who are still struggling in the anguish of JFO though. For those who are further along, I think it can potentially be quite enlightening.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:33 PM, Tuesday, October 10th]

Unfaithful. Movie from 2002.

Over the years, there have been a few stories on this board that track very close to the plot.

What doesn’t track is the total devastation of this story. In a lot of cases the infidelity will be forgiven. It may end in the destruction of a marriage and family. I assume it can sometimes end in tragedy if the BS takes their life. But this goes to a whole other level.

It’s pretty apparent that he turns himself into the police. So while her life probably won’t be very good, at least for a while, and she most likely regrets her actions, he is going to spend the next 20 years or so in prison. And not one where you are sent for security fraud.

So while she gets to relive the nights she spent with that super hot younger guy, his nights are probably spent getting raped by bigger stronger prisoners. Pretty devastating.

This movie really angered me. He was a great guy who truly loved his wife and now his life is ruined.

[This message edited by waitedwaytoolong at 2:05 AM, Wednesday, October 11th]

The scene where she grieves the loss of her lover, It’s tough to watch.

Ditto for when she was too tired from banging to remember to pick her kid up from school.

When she got jealous and mad that her boyfriend had other chicks in his stable.

It like the writers have lived it.

There is one scene in Closer (2004) that I have always thought describe infidelity correctly.
In it the jilted woman is talking to her husband/boyfriend (I really don’t remember the plot too well although I recall this scene) and is questioning why he cheated. After listening to the usual excuses she cuts him off and says something along the lines that at some point, at some time there is ALWAYS that moment where they KNOW and they DECIDE to cross the line. Since he had a choice, he could have decided not to take it further, instead he decided to break his vows.

I think this scene is something every WS should see. To me it describes reality because without the accountability the woman is describing I don’t think reconciliation is ever possible, nor is personal growth.

At this point in my life… I guess because the infidelity is so long ago, and the scene is pretty much set for my husband and I from here on out…

I tend to pick up on movies that portray not so much infidelity necessarily, but a spouses/partners inability and/or unwillingness to interact on a deeper level.

At this point, I actually think that if I could choose for my husband to do what he did, and have the outcome be that once healed from that, we could communicate/connect on a deeper level… I’m not so sure I wouldn’t do it.

ETA: yes, I am that pathetic.

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 12:57 PM, Wednesday, October 11th]