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Ok….who has ever used a mini spy cam? What kind? I see all sorts…the USB phone charger looks the best. I’d think you would be able to see the little dot/camera. Has anyone used one and how did it go? Also, what are some that film nonstop and record to a phone app? So if needed, it’s all saved on the app. I don’t want one that is saved to just a chip bc then it has to be watched and erased within an allotted time.

Sorry, I haven't used one so I can't give advice. Hopefully somebody with more knowledge about them will answer.

I'm going to make a few assumptions, if you are looking for a spy camera type, you are looking for a smaller form factor and something that is discreet or looks like something else. I'm also going to assume that you don't have some type of local network storage at your home, i.e. a local cloud. There are quite a few security cameras on the market that offer subscription services where your video recordings will be stored on the cloud, but that may not be an option if you are looking for a discreet camera. You may end up stuck with one that has an SD card for local storage.

Yeah….only thing about an SD chip is that I’m going to be gone for 8 days and wouldn’t be able to look or change/erase the chip. And it would have to be on nonstop recording bc there’s constant movement and motion detector wouldn’t do good. That’s why I needed one that would download to a cloud or whatever.
I sure hope someone knows and comments.

Internet search?

look up "spycentre" - all kinds of good stuff

also Amazon for easy place to look

long term security - look up "Arlo" - they work 24 x 7 - store on the internet - motion activate - high quality and can be bought with bigger battery for long time use. Battery powered cameras so no power wires.
They do have to be set up with a wired internet connection (Ethernet)
They use wi-fi for camera to base device (which is where the Ethernet connection goes)

Small but not concealable.

Yeah….only thing about an SD chip is that I’m going to be gone for 8 days and wouldn’t be able to look or change/erase the chip. And it would have to be on nonstop recording bc there’s constant movement and motion detector wouldn’t do good. That’s why I needed one that would download to a cloud or whatever.
I sure hope someone knows and comments.

Is one of your requirements that it not look like a camera? I've got a ton of options I could recommend if you were looking for a camera that could be cloud based. Otherwise, there are also some great cameras that use an SD card locally and you can put a 256 GB card in there and not be worried about 8 days. I have a bunch of PoE Cameras in my security system that record to an NVR in my network closet and the storage it uses does not hit 256 GB in 8 days of use. I've had good luck with the Aqara brand of cameras for indoor cameras that I also storage the footage locally on my NAS.

It can not look like a camera and be easily hidden. So far the only thing I’ve found that would not be noticeable is an iPhone charger block. It would have a continuous source of battery/electric.
And the 256 GB card will record all day and won’t use up the 256 in 8 days?? And I’d prefer it be continuous recording and not motion activated bc there will be nonstop motion and I don’t want it pausing during any of it.
And I’d prefer recording to iCloud, if possible, bc I’d like to watch each day while I was gone.
I’ll look at the ones u suggested. Thank u

If you have any old cellphones lying around that you can still charge and turn on, check out the Alfred app. IIRC, it's a couple bucks per month, you can set it up to start filming when motion is detected and I think you can record? But I used it years ago (yes, to catch WS lying), and definitely remember being able to watch in live time on my cellphone.

Ibonnie - he would notice a cell phone sitting around. I’d have to put in a certain spot in his office. A cell phone is something we don’t just leave laying around….he’d pick it up just bc it shouldn’t be there. A charger block…..no one thinks about those. Or I saw a screw mini cam. I just don’t know how it hooks up or battery or what. But I could definitely do something like that. Even a wax warmer, but those cost an arm and a leg 🤦‍♀️.

I have to ask, if you’re going through so much trouble to catch your WH still having an affair while you’re gone, why bother? He already cheated right? It’s very obvious that you suspect it’s still going on, why keep torturing yourself?

I fully understand suspicion and fear, but what you are asking for, describes to me that you are expecting a full on affair going on.

You don’t need the other shoe to drop to end everything, even if you agreed to try and make it work. If he is behaving in such a way that you want to put a spy camera in his office for 8 days, then I feel strongly that it’s over.

It’s has to be exhausting to live like that, I mean I know it is because I did it for 6 months. If I was still that paranoid, I don’t think I could do it anymore.

Further edit: Just read your profile. You will likely never get the full truth, and really, what are you fighting for? A chance to get another STI? All you are doing is making yourself miserable.

[This message edited by HellIsNotHalfFull at 7:37 PM, Friday, September 1st]

You don’t need to catch him in the act.

You can D him just by saying you don’t trust him, he’s continually cheating and you no longer care to R. It’s just over.

If he says "I’m not cheating" you can simply reply that he can continue to lie and cheat b/c it no longer matters. The marriage is over.

And then just walk away. Don’t engage in further conversation.

Well, believe it or not, I’m not really worried about the cheating. U have to understand that he’s always lied to me about anything and everything. That being said, he says he doesn’t look at porn anymore or any naked women. I’m scared to death to try to even trust him bc I’ve heard that sooooooo many times in the past.
I think I’m at that point that I’m trying to catch him to prove to myself that I can’t trust him. 🤦‍♀️ Does that make sense? I’m just too scared that it’s like all the other years. The only thing going for him (to be telling the truth) is that his testosterone is low bc of age and that makes him not ever really want it. In the past….he would want it 7 days a week.
So he could be telling the truth that he doesn’t ever look at it, but there’s too much history to trust that. So if I did the cam then I’d find out one way or another. That could be a big step in trying to trust him or a big step toward divorce bc he’s never going to stop or tell the truth. That’s why I want to put the cam up in his office. He’d feel secure in doing what he wanted in there, like all the other times.

He’s is a lying liar, proven time and time again. That is who he is. You don’t catch him this one time, so what? How much longer are you going to be marriage police for someone who repeatedly shows you he doesn’t care enough to change? Even if he doesn’t do anything this time, are you really going to feel like he is safe?

I am curious, you are saying his office, you mean like at an actual work place or home? If it’s a home office/computer there are many other ways to catch porn use, such as installing a key logger. (Basically a program that will show you every thing typed on the keyboard). If it’s his work place, I’m confused because my experience is that you can get in serious trouble using work computers/internet for porn. I’ve got a lot of friends in IT and they all spend a good chunk of time policing that (and again the work net is all monitored and websites tracked). I don’t know all company policy, but damn that’s certainly a risk.

We own our own business. So he can do why he wants on his computer, in his office. And he has programs to keep his computer free of "bugs". So any program would be found out.
And he would look at stuff on his phone before he would his computer.

If he has nothing to hide, it’s easy honestly.

You tell him straight up, I don’t trust you, I want to, but because of everything that happened I can’t. If you want to help me trust and rebuild our relationship you will understand that I am going to install a key logger on our computer and your phone.

If he doesn’t agree to this you have your answer. If he isn’t doing anything wrong then especially as the WH he should easily comply with this because he’s going to put you first for once in his life.

I am assuming the answer is going to be no, and thus you don’t need a spy camera, because you have all the proof you need.

I think I’m at that point that I’m trying to catch him to prove to myself that I can’t trust him. 🤦‍♀️ Does that make sense?

Gently, probably not. He has a history of lying. I suggest asking him, 'What's different this time?' Then decide if you want to live with his answer.

I’m just too scared that it’s like all the other years.

Unless he wants to change for himself, it probably will be like all the other years.

Have you checked out https://survivinginfidelity.com/topics/497843/fear-vs-reality/? It might be worth looking at.

I understand what your intentions are by having a camera. I have those same feelings I don't want to believe things are still happening and hope they aren't but my husband is also the consistent liar who made me this way with so much doubt. I feel just the same way if you look for something and nothing it puts your mind alittle at ease and if you look and find something than you know you know the truth with evidence not just what they say to you. It's so hard not to keep looking but if you are like me it makes you feel a little more calm and when you have a spouse who lied so much about so much you doubt yourself in what you believe and need as much proof as possible. I understand.

So you want to position a 24/7 camera in such a way that it can monitor what he’s looking at on his computer screen…
Honestly I think this borders on CSI-let’s-get-a-DNA-sample-from-the-single-pixel-we-picked-up-on-CCTV realm…
I think there are too many ifs and buts and maybes for this ever to be a good idea, ranging from having to spend all this time scanning the recording to and including getting a definite picture of both him and the screen in what would probably be less than ideal conditions.

I think there are easier ways to get your goal…
What router or wireless transmitter are you using? Have you checked if you can monitor traffic and sites on that router? I know the one I have will give me the name of sites and the percentage of time spent on them.
Many routers also offer built-in "parential guides" that you can activate using their control-interface. You could activate it and then check if has been altered, restarted or whatever.
I think even a VAR could give you enough… Listen for background sounds. If its like two angry cats having asthma-fits you can guestimate he’s looking at porn.

Hellisnothalffull - I don’t want to do that bc then I’m just prolonging it. Of course he won’t look at anything while I have a key logger on his phone. I don’t want to prolong it (if he’s going to watch or look stuff up), I just want to catch him and get it over with.
And he CAN’T STAND answering to anyone. If I wanted to put a key logger on his then he’d want to on me. And I don’t care except I research and look stuff up…just like the spy stuff soooo…I guess I’m a hypocrite if u think of it that way 🤷‍♀️. And he’d get to read all this.

Sisoon - that’s the thing….he says he wants to change for himself. That he sees his dad (old pervert) and he doesn’t want to be like him. He said that he wants to change for me, too, but mainly doing it bc he doesn’t like the person he’s always been. And I want to believe him sooooooo badly, but 29 years of nothing but lying…..it’s too hard.

Diva19 - yes! Exactly. If I put the spy cam out and he doesn’t do anything for this 8 days…..it will be a huge relief AND I can try to start trusting a little.
If he does look at stuff then I’ll know I can’t trust him at all.

No, I don’t think you are a hypocrite at all, please don’t misunderstand me. You are betrayed, on so many levels it’s heartbreaking. I apologize if I am coming off as attacking you, i don’t mean to. I am free for the time at least from infidelity and I see so many things I did that only hurt myself, I probably project my experience on others.

All I am trying to say is that it seems like you already know the answer but you just want the "proof" to finally make your decision. I have been there. I did so many things to prove to myself that my wife was cheating on me because I was sacred to end it, to include spy cams, inventory of her laundry etc. it’s embarrassing now. It’s part of what woke me up, to realize that if I am actually going through all of this then I know my answer and I don’t need proof, because I know. I hate seeing others trying so hard when it’s not being sent back. In my opinion, your husband should already have installed a key logger with out complaint if he actually gave a damn, and not expected anything from you other then your agreement to still be his wife, and he should be grateful for that. My WW basically did that for me, I have a clone of her phone and I can check anything anytime, and she never asks me for mine.

Take care of yourself, I hope you find peace