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Off Topic :
Funny Dad jokes

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 Tallgirl (original poster member #64088) posted at 4:03 PM on Saturday, November 5th, 2022

Has anyone seen those "Dad" jokes on YouTube? My son has so many they roll off his tongue with ease. Sometimes I can’t tell if it is a joke or real life until the punch line.

Here are two that tickled me. May you smile. Add your favourites!

I haven’t talked to my wife in 7 years…. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

My kids were still on eBay when I got home from work…. If they are still there tomorrow I will lower the price.

[This message edited by Tallgirl at 8:03 PM, Saturday, November 5th]

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 2013   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8763802
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 7:26 PM on Saturday, November 5th, 2022

I love dad jokes, have you seen the guys on Facebook, the short videos, they tell them with a straight face while sipping on a drink?

I writing a book about reverse psychology…

Don’t buy it.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8763826
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 Tallgirl (original poster member #64088) posted at 8:02 PM on Saturday, November 5th, 2022

Lol. I did see a few. very funny.

Gotta go and get the baby, she will not nap. She is resisting a rest

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 2013   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8763829
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 10:19 PM on Saturday, November 5th, 2022

laugh laugh laugh Thanks for the laugh!!!

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3001   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8763845
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 Tallgirl (original poster member #64088) posted at 11:27 PM on Saturday, November 5th, 2022

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. So she gave me a big hug

Lol

[This message edited by Tallgirl at 4:56 PM, Sunday, November 6th]

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 2013   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8763858
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leafields ( member #63517) posted at 3:01 PM on Sunday, November 6th, 2022

The morning crew of our local news has a Dad joke of the day segment. Some are good and some are cringe-worthy.

What kind of shoes do frogs wear?

Open toad shoes.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 1490   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8763927
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:21 PM on Sunday, November 6th, 2022

There’s an IG account called Standup t-Rex that uses the T-Rex meme template for so so many funny dad jokes. (There are others who use the same meme template for nasty dad jokes, but this guy is funny and not nasty. )

Because dad jokes are the best!

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 5101   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8763942
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 5:41 PM on Sunday, November 6th, 2022

When does a joke become a "dad joke"?


When it becomes apparent


laugh

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25035   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8763947
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EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 1:38 PM on Monday, November 7th, 2022

We love Dad jokes here.

What part of your body dies the last?


The eyes....because they dilate.

posts: 6776   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2009   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 8764064
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little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 5:51 PM on Wednesday, November 9th, 2022

laugh laugh You guys are funny!

Failure is success if we learn from it.

posts: 5525   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2007   ·   location: michigan
id 8764325
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leafields ( member #63517) posted at 9:16 PM on Wednesday, November 9th, 2022

I just saw this one:

My wife was mad at me for singing "I'm a Believer" and if I didn't stop, she would kill me.

At first, I didn't take her seriously. Then I saw her face....

[This message edited by leafields at 5:28 PM, Saturday, November 12th]

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 1490   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8764353
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 4:42 PM on Saturday, November 12th, 2022

I’m not saying I’m a attractive or anything,

But every time I go in the bathroom and remove my clothes, I turn the shower on 🤷‍♂️

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8764906
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 8:35 PM on Sunday, November 13th, 2022

My kids asked me "do trees poop?"

I said "where do you think #2 pencils come from.

laugh

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25035   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8765026
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3yrsout ( member #50552) posted at 2:02 AM on Monday, November 14th, 2022

Why do mermaids wear seashells for a bra?

Because the D shells are too big and the B shells are too small!

posts: 661   ·   registered: Nov. 27th, 2015
id 8765057
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 4:52 PM on Monday, November 14th, 2022

Did you hear about the explosion at the French cheese factory?

Yeah, all that was left was de brie.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25035   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8765119
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 Tallgirl (original poster member #64088) posted at 12:05 AM on Tuesday, November 15th, 2022

I got fired from the bank today. A woman asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her.

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 2013   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8765175
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 2:23 PM on Tuesday, November 15th, 2022

I used to crastinate but I got so good I became a pro.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25035   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8765235
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leafields ( member #63517) posted at 5:42 PM on Tuesday, November 15th, 2022

What do you call a beat up Batman? Bruised Wayne

[This message edited by leafields at 5:43 PM, Tuesday, November 15th]

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 1490   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8765267
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 10:57 PM on Wednesday, November 16th, 2022

Did you hear about the amazing race between the Lettuce and a tomatoe?

The Lettuce was ahead.

The tomatoe was trying to Ketchup.

laugh

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25035   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8765474
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 10:59 PM on Wednesday, November 16th, 2022

My Wife asked my "why don’t you treat me like you did when we were dating?"

So I took her to dinner and movie, then dropped her off at her parents house. 😀

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8765475
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