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Off Topic :
Funny Dad jokes

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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 2:22 AM on Thursday, November 17th, 2022

What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shooooooe


What do you call a large pile of cats?


A Meowtain.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25035   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8765504
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 Tallgirl (original poster member #64088) posted at 4:21 AM on Thursday, November 17th, 2022

What are the pronouns for chocolate?

Her she

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 2013   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8765521
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 9:35 PM on Friday, November 18th, 2022

My wife asked me to pick up 6 cans of Sprite from the store. When I got home I realized I picked 7UP.

If you are an American when you walk into the bathroom and out of the bathroom, what are you when you are In the bathroom.

Eurapeeeen

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25035   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8765855
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pureheartkit ( member #62345) posted at 2:15 PM on Sunday, November 20th, 2022

My dad's dad loved those kind of jokes. He knew so many.

Ws loved Groucho and Oscar Wilde.

I remember Groucho's

Time flies like an arrow
Fruit flies like a banana.

Thank you everyone for your wisdom and healing.

posts: 2507   ·   registered: Jan. 19th, 2018
id 8766054
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 5:19 PM on Sunday, November 20th, 2022

The sign in the restroom said "Employees must wash hands".

I looked around and couldn’t find an employee that would help me.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8766071
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 Tallgirl (original poster member #64088) posted at 2:42 AM on Saturday, November 26th, 2022

Lol. Those are great.

My wife asked me if I had seen the dog bowl?

I said I didnt know he did.

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 2013   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8766755
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 2:37 PM on Sunday, November 27th, 2022

A truck loaded with Vicks VaopRub overturned in the highway.

Amazingly, there was no congestion for 8 hours.


grin

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25035   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8766893
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 10:45 PM on Sunday, November 27th, 2022

Y’all are hilarious 😆

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8766948
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 Tallgirl (original poster member #64088) posted at 11:53 PM on Monday, November 28th, 2022

Did you hear?

The guy who invented the knock-knock jokes….. he won the no-bell prize.

laugh

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 2013   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8767109
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