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Newest Member: mathemantic

Off Topic :
Funny Dad jokes

Topic is Sleeping.
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 2:22 AM on Thursday, November 17th, 2022

What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shooooooe


What do you call a large pile of cats?


A Meowtain.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25727   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8765504
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 Tallgirl (original poster member #64088) posted at 4:21 AM on Thursday, November 17th, 2022

What are the pronouns for chocolate?

Her she

To be redefined

posts: 2205   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8765521
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 9:35 PM on Friday, November 18th, 2022

My wife asked me to pick up 6 cans of Sprite from the store. When I got home I realized I picked 7UP.

If you are an American when you walk into the bathroom and out of the bathroom, what are you when you are In the bathroom.

Eurapeeeen

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25727   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8765855
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pureheartkit ( member #62345) posted at 2:15 PM on Sunday, November 20th, 2022

My dad's dad loved those kind of jokes. He knew so many.

Ws loved Groucho and Oscar Wilde.

I remember Groucho's

Time flies like an arrow
Fruit flies like a banana.

Thank you everyone for your wisdom and healing.

posts: 2565   ·   registered: Jan. 19th, 2018
id 8766054
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 5:19 PM on Sunday, November 20th, 2022

The sign in the restroom said "Employees must wash hands".

I looked around and couldn’t find an employee that would help me.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3302   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8766071
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 Tallgirl (original poster member #64088) posted at 2:42 AM on Saturday, November 26th, 2022

Lol. Those are great.

My wife asked me if I had seen the dog bowl?

I said I didnt know he did.

To be redefined

posts: 2205   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8766755
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 2:37 PM on Sunday, November 27th, 2022

A truck loaded with Vicks VaopRub overturned in the highway.

Amazingly, there was no congestion for 8 hours.


grin

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25727   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8766893
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 10:45 PM on Sunday, November 27th, 2022

Y’all are hilarious 😆

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3302   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8766948
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 Tallgirl (original poster member #64088) posted at 11:53 PM on Monday, November 28th, 2022

Did you hear?

The guy who invented the knock-knock jokes….. he won the no-bell prize.

laugh

To be redefined

posts: 2205   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8767109
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 1:31 AM on Saturday, December 17th, 2022

What do you call a snowman with a six pack?

An abdominal snowman.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25727   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8769879
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 4:57 AM on Saturday, December 17th, 2022

These are awesome!! Thanks for the laugh!!

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

posts: 1159   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8769893
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 8:42 PM on Tuesday, December 20th, 2022

Apparently you can’t use "beefstew" as a password.


It’s not stroganoff 🤣

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3302   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8770227
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 4:04 AM on Friday, December 30th, 2022

361 days till Christmas and people already have their decorations up….

Jerks

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3302   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8771374
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 9:13 PM on Monday, January 2nd, 2023

I stayed up all night wondering where the sun was...

Then it dawned on me.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25727   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8771797
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 9:22 PM on Monday, January 2nd, 2023

There's a huge sale at the Lego Store.

People are lined up for blocks laugh

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25727   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8771799
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 10:44 PM on Monday, January 2nd, 2023

Lol Dragn

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3302   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8771806
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Alonelyagain ( member #32820) posted at 11:07 PM on Monday, January 2nd, 2023

I was addicted to dancing the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned it around

[This message edited by Alonelyagain at 11:30 PM, Monday, January 2nd]

posts: 411   ·   registered: Jul. 18th, 2011   ·   location: New Jersey
id 8771808
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Solarchick ( member #80222) posted at 10:16 PM on Friday, January 6th, 2023

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I'll let you know.

Me: BW, 57, two awesome grown sons. Remarried in 2010. That lasted 11 years.WXH: Not even a blip on my radar anymore. I'm glad he's messing up the OW's life now and leaving me alone. D (with cause) in 2004.

posts: 153   ·   registered: Apr. 11th, 2022   ·   location: Charleston, SC
id 8772424
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 11:28 PM on Friday, January 6th, 2023

Saw a rooster humping an egg


I’ll let you know 🤣🤣

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3302   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8772432
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 Tallgirl (original poster member #64088) posted at 2:47 AM on Saturday, January 7th, 2023

My therapist told me that I have a phobia against getting married again. He asked me if I knew why.

I said, I can’t say I do.

To be redefined

posts: 2205   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8772451
Topic is Sleeping.
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