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Off Topic :
4th of July parade mass shooting

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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 4:40 PM on Tuesday, July 5th, 2022

I'm just devastated by this last shooting. Without giving too many details that would identify me, we know the area very, very well, and in fact the shooter lived within easy walking distance of where we used to live, but not in the same town. We were just in shock yesterday as the images played on TV and we recognized many of the shops and restaurants we used to frequent. The hospital where they took most of the victims is very familiar to me; I've been to that ER.

I knew it was a matter of time before I started reading updates on my FB page that people knew people who were there (thankfully, no one I knew was there, that I know of at this point). One friend had a member of her temple killed. For the past 15 years, this friend has volunteered with EMT services at this parade, except for twice... and yesterday was the second time, so she wasn't there. She said she is always stationed at exactly the intersection where the shooting happened, but she was traveling this year, so literally dodged a bullet. Another friend had a professional colleague killed. Another friend's neighbor was there, walking with Rep. Brad Schneider's group, but they were all safe. These people's lives will be changed forever... not that other lives from other mass shootings aren't changed, but this time, it hits so close to home.

I was just sick to my stomach yesterday.

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1030   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: Southern California
id 8743417
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 5:19 PM on Tuesday, July 5th, 2022

I’m sorry this hit so close to home for you. crying

It’s hard for me to discuss this without a fear of any hint of getting political, so I won’t even start.

I just know that enough people have to deal with / experience natural death every day, and that is so hard.

How much harder it must be when the deaths are senseless!

Prayers for all those involved. 🙏

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8743423
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BraveSirRobin ( Guide #69242) posted at 5:25 PM on Tuesday, July 5th, 2022

I'm just devastated by this last shooting. Without giving too many details that would identify me, we know the area very, very well, and in fact the shooter lived within easy walking distance of where we used to live, but not in the same town. We were just in shock yesterday as the images played on TV and we recognized many of the shops and restaurants we used to frequent. The hospital where they took most of the victims is very familiar to me; I've been to that ER.

I'm so sorry, N4. I remember how devastated I was by the Boston Marathon bombing. I grew up in Boston, and even after 30 years of living elsewhere, it will always be home to me. I watched the footage and thought, "There's the store where I bought my graduation dress. There's the spot where BH proposed. There's the hotel where we spent our wedding night." All of these shootings are tragic, but that one also felt violating, like someone had broken into my house and ransacked it.

[This message edited by BraveSirRobin at 5:34 PM, Tuesday, July 5th]

WW/BW

posts: 2835   ·   registered: Dec. 27th, 2018
id 8743424
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:35 PM on Tuesday, July 5th, 2022

I ride in that area at least once a week during the Summer and Fall. and often 2 or 3 times a week. I used to stop for coffee at a coffee shop that was on the parade route; I don't this year, because it closed. I was headed for the center of Highland Park yesterday, until some asshole passed me and then did a U-turn without signaling or looking back, thereby causing a crash a few miles short of my destination.

We know a number of people who were at the parade. Fortunately all have been accounted for ... but that just leaves people we don't know who have to mourn; even the folks we know have to deal with the trauma of being shot at, as do a few thousand people we know and don't know.

Having this happen in one's home or former home territory seems more immediate than having this happen far away, but distance doesn't matter. It's still people like all of us being shot at, wounded, and killed before their time.

These shooters are terrorists, even if they act alone.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 5:36 PM, Tuesday, July 5th]

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 27424   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8743425
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:39 PM on Tuesday, July 5th, 2022

So tragic and far too common. I am sorry you all are so close to it- that makes it that much worse.

[This message edited by BearlyBreathing at 8:26 PM, Tuesday, July 5th]

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4886   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8743427
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 6:10 PM on Tuesday, July 5th, 2022

I'm so sorry you have all been affected by this yet again senseless act.

I saw only one video on my fb feed. A young boy recording the parade and then shots and everyone running in panic.

Why. . . Just why.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 24508   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8743432
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 6:47 PM on Tuesday, July 5th, 2022

I remember how devastated I was by the Boston Marathon bombing. I grew up in Boston, and even after 30 years of living elsewhere, it will always be home to me. I watched the footage and thought, "There's the store where I bought my graduation dress. There's the spot where BH proposed. There's the hotel where we spent our wedding night."

This! It's just so surreal.

Interestingly, we are in the Boston area right now, and yesterday they were making comparisons of the manhunt in Boston, to the one that was ongoing, until they captured him. I remember the Boston marathon bombing well - D (who we're staying with in Boston right now) was visiting us in IL for a few days, and the bombing happened the morning she was due to leave us and return to Boston. Her office was within a block of the finish line, and she was terrified for her co-workers and people she knew running the marathon, in the early minutes/hours. She just wanted to get on that plane and get back to Boston so she could be there in her grief with others.

We know a number of people who were at the parade. Fortunately all have been accounted for

.

They must be seriously traumatized. Just like with the school shootings, that downtown will have such a negative vibe for a long time. We've been to many art fairs there, community gatherings, etc. The downtown is so walkable and an easy way to kill a couple of hours on a nice day.

I just got a text message from a friend; someone she knows has been asked to play the organ at the memorial in Highland Park; not sure what that means, but obviously something is in the works.

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1030   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: Southern California
id 8743439
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Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 11:02 PM on Tuesday, July 5th, 2022

I have been so upset by this. I just do. not. understand. the. mindset. -- of the shooters. This shooter was dressed like a young girl when he did the shooting. It seems there was plenty of warnings from him on social media before this horrific deed was done.

It's everywhere. No place is safe.

A few miles from me yesterday, an 80 year old great grandmother was sitting on her front porch at dusk and was shot and killed by a random drive-by shooter.

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3236   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8743474
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 11:21 PM on Tuesday, July 5th, 2022

Good Lord. crying

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 7542   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8743478
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Pinkyxo ( member #43095) posted at 2:33 PM on Wednesday, July 6th, 2022

I feel the violent killing video games have turned these kids into trained snipers, with no value for human life. Jmo

One foot in front of the other!Member since 2004ish?Formerly ZooMa.

posts: 82   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2014   ·   location: Florida :)
id 8743545
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Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 6:56 PM on Wednesday, July 6th, 2022

Pinky, I 100% agree with you about the video games. Like they come to a place where just seeing it on the screen and playing the games isn't enough. They need to see the real murder scenes and real people dying. I was talking to one of my clients and even he says ..'what the hell??" He says most people kill for a reason -- over a relationship, money, drugs ... but these young kids are killing for the thrill. Maybe they think they will get famous on TikTok

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3236   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8743575
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 7:22 PM on Wednesday, July 6th, 2022

News out today says he wanted to carry out a second attack in Madison, WI, but got there (after he left HP) and realized he didn't planned enough, so he returned back to IL. That would have hit me hard, too, as we have lived in Madison, too.

He did confess today, but I don't know what that means legally. He has a public defender, so maybe we'll get a statement from his office.

[This message edited by number4 at 7:23 PM, Wednesday, July 6th]

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1030   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: Southern California
id 8743579
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Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 11:45 PM on Wednesday, July 6th, 2022

Since he was known to police because he previously said he want4d to kill his entire family, this tragedy is once again on the state for not doing ANYTHING after the red flags. His PD will probably use mental illness as a defense and he will go to a mental health facility for a few years and then be released. I'm not saying he's not mentally or that isn't a legit defense, but that is probably what will happen. I hope he's not set free to finish his plans for more mass shootings but one never knows.

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3236   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8743599
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:47 PM on Thursday, July 7th, 2022

No one followed through with charges after his previous encounters with the police. His father sponsored his FOID (Firearms Owner's ID) application. That was after the 'kill the whole family' incident.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 27424   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8743687
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 7:16 PM on Thursday, July 7th, 2022

Maybe they think they will get famous

Mostly this. These shootings are almost always done by those that feel they have been oppressed and treated as nobodies. These attacks are both strikes back against who they feel oppressed them but also make themselves feel like they were heard.

posts: 1264   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8743700
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emergent8 ( member #58189) posted at 9:57 PM on Thursday, July 7th, 2022

I feel the violent killing video games have turned these kids into trained snipers, with no value for human life. Jmo

Kids from all countries play videogames. The US is the only place where kids regularly go on mass killing sprees.

Me: BS, Him: WS. Mid-late 30s.
Together 15 years, married 6 (11 m at D-Day).
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
5 years (and two toddlers) into R. Happy.

posts: 960   ·   registered: Apr. 7th, 2017
id 8743725
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ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 2:46 PM on Monday, July 18th, 2022

This guy was already known to police. So why the fuck does he get a gun??????

crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying crying

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8445   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 8745245
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ff4152 ( member #55404) posted at 3:48 PM on Monday, July 18th, 2022

This guy was already known to police. So why the fuck does he get a gun??????

Cause ya know everyone has the right to own a weapon capable of killing lots of people in a short amount of time. 🙄🤮

Me -FWS

posts: 1957   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2016
id 8745252
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 6:06 PM on Monday, July 18th, 2022

I've been following the GoFundMe page of Cooper Roberts, the 8-year old who is paralyzed from the waist down. He has undergone seven surgeries, I think. The good news is he came off of the ventilator over the weekend, and has been fever-free for 48 hours. His mom and twin brother also were shot, but are doing OK now. That poor little kid and his twin are traumatized for life.

Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

posts: 1030   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: Southern California
id 8745271
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 11:35 PM on Monday, July 18th, 2022

NO POLITICS.

I know it's hard to keep from being snarky about some things, but we're adults, and we know it's best to think before posting.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 27424   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8745326
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