OM is losing his shine and she is making sure her Plan B (you) still wants her, or OM has other plans over christmas and she doesn't want to be alone... or she still wants a present from you.
- owes me an apology for some things
Don't assume this apology is for the A(s), most likely she will spin it in a way that isn't really an apology at all, mostly likely something like "sorry I have been so unsure, it's just you have been [XYZ shift blame here], and it's been so confusing".
- is interested to know what work we would have to do to repair things and if it's actually possible
noooooooope, if she was remorseful she would have plugged "how to repair my marriage", or something similar, into google and do the bare basic work. She is still making you do all the work here and she will flip the script when you attempt to tell her what those things are with a giant "well what are YOU going to do to make me feel valued" etc and so forth. Nope, don't even address this there are literally hundreds of books and articles and web links all offering advice on what she needs to do here and this text shows she doesn't even truly care about the work she has to do. If anything this is a hoovering text, trying to keep you hooked on hope for some reason, making you believe she is interested in R when in truth her actions show she can't even do the basic research herself. Pretty sure you would have given her some indication/direction on how to start anyway and she wasn't paying attention because it was of little interest to her at the time.
- misses me and the little family we had with the cats and house
Which shows how little she thought about you at all during her affair, she didn't even think about consequences and now she is facing those consequences it's bumming her out.
- thinks back to this past year and wonders if what she's missing even exists anymore (uh, what?)
OM is losing his shine, she thought she had something exciting (that is what she thinks was missing), now the fantasyland ride is coming to an end and it wasn't so fun after all.
- is very confused
OM is losing his shine, reality is creeping in on her and she doesn't like it and doesn't know what to do since she thought she was so smart and had worked it all out.
- doesn't want us to run back to each other out of fear
UGH! F her for texting this, again she is grouping you together but she is just talking about herself here, hope you can see that. Who knows what her fear is but my guess is she is fearful of both settling (with you) or being alone forever (if she Ds). You're safe and comfy but that's it, she doesn't want to be alone, scared of it in fact, but at the same time she doesn't want to be with you simply because of that safety she wants the unrealistic 'fireworks forever' relationship.
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Hopefully you haven't responded.
As for grey rock it took me so long to get it right, my problem was how reactive I was, had to work hard on truly thinking before I spoke even if that response was a textbook grey rock "uh-uh, sure" lol. Practice makes perfect.
The eBay thing was great TBH, I was able to start new hobbies I couldn't afford with the cash I made, some items didn't sell well but I kind of had fun heavily discounting it as well.
[This message edited by LostInHisFog at 12:02 AM, Wednesday, December 8th]