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dblackstar2002 ( Member #70704) posted at 12:53 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

As my father would say, Her chickens are coming home to roost. Hang on, This is about to get interesting......

posts: 272   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2019
id 8681138
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dblackstar2002 ( Member #70704) posted at 12:53 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

As my father would say, Her chickens are coming home to roost. Hang on, This is about to get interesting......

posts: 272   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2019
id 8681139
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dblackstar2002 ( Member #70704) posted at 12:53 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

As my father would say, Her chickens are coming home to roost. Hang on, This is about to get interesting......

posts: 272   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2019
id 8681143
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dblackstar2002 ( Member #70704) posted at 12:53 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

As my father would say, Her chickens are coming home to roost. Hang on, This is about to get interesting......

posts: 272   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2019
id 8681140
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dblackstar2002 ( Member #70704) posted at 12:53 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

As my father would say, Her chickens are coming home to roost. Hang on, This is about to get interesting......

posts: 272   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2019
id 8681142
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dblackstar2002 ( Member #70704) posted at 12:53 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

As my father would say, Her chickens are coming home to roost. Hang on, This is about to get interesting......

posts: 272   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2019
id 8681141
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Freeme ( Member #31946) posted at 1:41 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

Good for letting them know what's going on without totally trashing your ex. She can spin the narrative anyway she wants but in the back of their mind they are still going to question her honesty and her relationship with Mark.

Hope you have a wonderful vacation and great move.

posts: 2802   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2011   ·   location: Washington DC
id 8681153
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KingofNothing ( Member #71775) posted at 2:01 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

Hey CCB, this isn't about relationships but if you have a long road trip ahead, download the hell out of a podcast called NERD POKER. You can thank me later. I'd mention some good true crime ones but that's a whole other labyrinth to go down and not exactly feel good material. :-)

Rex Nihilo, the King of Nothing
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“If you’re going through hell, keep going. Just please stop screaming, it’s not good for morale.”
— Winston Churchill

BS 3 DDays/Attempted R, it failed. In a better place

posts: 769   ·   registered: Oct. 7th, 2019   ·   location: East Coast USA
id 8681160
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KingofNothing ( Member #71775) posted at 2:17 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

“Look, I can’t speak for her. I can only tell you my point of view. So, ask her to tell you about Mark. Maybe she’ll introduce you guys sometime!”

Okay, that's a bit of genius level game play, there. The gift of doubt that keeps on giving!

Rex Nihilo, the King of Nothing
----------------------------------
“If you’re going through hell, keep going. Just please stop screaming, it’s not good for morale.”
— Winston Churchill

BS 3 DDays/Attempted R, it failed. In a better place

posts: 769   ·   registered: Oct. 7th, 2019   ·   location: East Coast USA
id 8681165
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TheWrongOne ( Member #78753) posted at 2:24 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

Yeah the shit is getting real for her now. I find it quite amazing how cheaters can walk around in a state of self-imposed denial, thinking that they are pulling the wool over everyone's eyes. I don't know how her parents are, but I read of one gal who cheated on her husband and never told her parents the truth of why they had divorced. Five years later or so they got the real story when they literally ran into their ex-son in law at a shopping mall. He told them what really went down, and the minute they got home the dad called his lawyer and had the cheating daughter struck from his will. Bam! Disinherited.

posts: 177   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2021
id 8681167
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MickeyBill2016 ( Member #56459) posted at 6:02 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

and now they have at least some semblance of an idea that Mark destroyed our marriage.

Technically your WW destroyed the marriage by hooking up with Mark when married to you...

9 years married.
13 years divorced.

posts: 1176   ·   registered: Dec. 17th, 2016   ·   location: West of the 405 North of the Mexican border
id 8681234
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Robert22205https ( Member #65547) posted at 8:25 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

Actually I'm not surprised at her behavior.

She's still trying to bury her adultery and characterize the divorce as friendly/mutual.

She will ultimately end up alone without anyone - and that's what she deserves.

Again. She is just a typical cheater.

Do not feel sorry for her or give her another second of your life.

YOU OWE HER NOTHING. NOT EVEN A TEXT.

The best part of your life is ahead!

posts: 2409   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: DC
id 8681266
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stubbornft ( Member #49614) posted at 8:31 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

You are doing great. Enjoy your road trip. Being in nature resets so much for me. I hope you are able to relax.

Good for you for telling her parents. She needs to deal with reality.

Safe travels! You are doing awesome!!

Me: BS 40
Him: WS 51
He cheated with massage parlor sex workers
Dday 01/19/2021

posts: 801   ·   registered: Sep. 14th, 2015   ·   location: TX
id 8681267
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Jeaniegirl ( Member #6370) posted at 10:12 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

I wish you all the luck in the world.

But I can't help it, I'm shedding tears about your dog and wonder if he's looking for you. Wishing you'd made a deal to trade furniture and other things for the dog.

Maybe Mark won't like him or your dog will bite him -- and you can get him back.

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 2839   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8681302
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 CheesecakeBaker (original poster Member #78991) posted at 11:08 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

@LostInHisFog:

As for music... unsure of your tastes but spotify has a heap of solid mixes, I tend to start with The Traveling Wilburys, Fleetwood Mac, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty and work my way out from there. However I have enjoyed a Fatboy Slim, Chemical Brothers and (the) Prodigy road trip before as well as a hyped up road trip to The Killers, Kaiser Chiefs, Arctic Monkeys, Kings of Leon, Bloc Party, Amy Winehouse which was enjoyable too... depends on the mood.

This is excellent - you and I have very similar tastes. I have a whole playlist of feel-good songs that basically includes ALL of these artists. It has been hugely enjoyable and cathartic for me.

posts: 103   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2021
id 8681323
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 CheesecakeBaker (original poster Member #78991) posted at 11:10 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

@KingofNothing:

Okay, that's a bit of genius level game play, there. The gift of doubt that keeps on giving!

Thank you; I thought so too

I found out today that my STBXW’s best friend of 13 years (who is also very close to me) had been under the impression that STBXW had explained the whole divorce situation to her parents…so the friend thought it was truly weird that it ended up having to be ME telling the in-laws about the divorce.

I do like that I planted that seed of doubt in their heads regarding Mark. STBXW deserves every bit of shit that is going to be coming at her.

posts: 103   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2021
id 8681325
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 CheesecakeBaker (original poster Member #78991) posted at 11:16 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

I wish you all the luck in the world.

But I can't help it, I'm shedding tears about your dog and wonder if he's looking for you. Wishing you'd made a deal to trade furniture and other things for the dog.

Maybe Mark won't like him or your dog will bite him -- and you can get him back.

I know. I am devastated too. I tried to negotiate, to reason with her…it never worked…

HOWEVER:

In another update of GOOD NEWS!! I started browsing about a week ago on the local humane society site where I will be ending up. I saw a page that said something about “off-site re-homing” or something. I clicked on it and saw a bunch of dogs who were having to be re-homed for one reason or another. Scrolling through it, I saw one dog that caught my eye…a blue healer/border collie mix…the same age as my previous good boy, the same size…he is beautiful.

I reached out to the current owners and explained my situation. Shared photos of me and my previous dog. Told them I really wanted a new buddy but was unsure when I’d be able to actually adopt him, given that I am staying with my parents for a while and don’t know when I would have my own place. I didn’t expect a response, but figured I’d tried.

WELL: the owner responded. They are an older couple who have another older dog and just can’t keep up with the young, energetic pup. They were looking to find a good home for him and had had him online for months with no inquiries. The dad was planning to take him to the shelter THAT WEEK when they got my email. The mom told me she about cried reading my story and somehow just KNEW that I was the right person to give their dog a good home and a good life. She started sending me pictures and videos of him. He is very well-trained, loves other people, loves other dogs, and loves to go on hikes/runs/walks.

Exactly what I need. She was so thrilled that she was able to find a person willing to adopt him and give him a good home. I am confident I will be able to.

So - I get to go meet him next week! And can go take him on walks/hikes/out to the dog park as often as I want so he can start to bond with me and get comfortable with me to make the re-homing transition an easier one on him. I am so, so happy. Happy that I can give him a new, good home, and not have to have him go back to a shelter. Happy that I can have a new four-legged, furry buddy to share my life with. This is the best.

posts: 103   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2021
id 8681329
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OrdinaryDude ( Member #55676) posted at 11:55 PM on Wednesday, August 4th, 2021

That’s awesome!

Me - BH 50+
Her - WW 50+
Married 30+ years, 2 adult kids
(1989) PA Rug-Swept
(2002) EA Rug-Swept
(2016) EA *Getting Out Of Infidelity*

**Working at Reconciling**

posts: 3366   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: The Big Easy
id 8681350
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guvensiz ( Member #75858) posted at 12:02 AM on Thursday, August 5th, 2021

Good, she continues to show you who she is.

The explanation you sent to her parents is very good. Don't get too involved in their relationship. Remain as the good-natured, kind ex-son in law whose value is not appreciated by their daughter.

I told that she would experience disappointments in her life, and that she would regret what she did when she saw that you were much happier and successful without her than you were with her, but I'm not sure she'll admit it to you. Actually she's not at that stage yet. The lie she told her parents to be exposed isn't enough for that. She will make up her own story again.

She has Mark in her life now. The fact that she never resisted the divorce and brought him home shows that she was not very confused.

On the other hand, you don't talk much about it, but I don't get the feeling that she's very happy and having a love affair with butterflies. I think she's still in a depression.

Anyway, you're lucky you survived this. Don't expect her to regret and beg to come back to you. Don't be disappointed if this doesn't happen, but if it does, don't look back.

posts: 477   ·   registered: Nov. 14th, 2020
id 8681354
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J707 ( Member #63778) posted at 1:17 AM on Thursday, August 5th, 2021

Awesome dog story! Sometimes things line up at the right time. I rescued my dog during my D process.

As for the stbxww, just as you did, no response is needed. She'll probably say to her parents that it was only a separation but you were mean and Mark was there for her in these stressful times. So now divorce was the only option. Or some asinine bullshit story. As you know, her wayward mind is in self protection mode. Nobody wants to be the villain in their own story. Doesn't matter. Not your deal. Continue with no contact, only divorce.

Enjoy your trip! Enjoy getting to know the new dog! You will have ups and downs during this process but you will survive! Just as her actions spoke louder than words, YOUR actions of taking control of your life are speaking louder than words!

Btw, I'm not sure what baseball games you went to but... Go Giants!!!

posts: 1104   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2018   ·   location: Ca
id 8681383
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