Thank you for your reply.
So from the beginning your argument is to divorce and then start dating each other again and see what happens after that, because your marriage is officially over when the cheating happened. At first she agreed to it, she even wrote you a letter stating 'from your future 2nd wife'... so it's been clearly stated and that's what you wanted from the start.
You filed for divorce and she doesn't want to sign it because her argument is 'i love you so i don't want to let you go'... but your argument is the other way... 'if you love me then let me go'...
Now you've reached an impasse. Well, it's not actually an impasse, it's favorable to your WW. Everyday that you're staying married is a win for your WW. Because that's what she wanted, for you to stay married. She might be crying for hours waiting at your door begging you to give her another chance, but the more the inactivity from your part, the more it is becoming a win for her.
Now you're in a dilemma. If you file for a contested divorce, you both will lose a fortune, she knows that, definitely. She knows you won't file for a contested divorce because you're still thinking about your family's future. And she knows you won't destroy the future of your kids. So, in a way, she's winning. And also, she's winning you over to her side.
She might be crying daily at your door, but believe me, deep inside, she's smiling from ear to ear because she's getting everything she wanted. You want to separate but she wants to stay at your big house and even if you don't see each other often, she's still smiling because she gets to keep everything, including you and your marriage.
If this continues to happen, I will be rooting for your wife. Don't get me wrong, I'm not actually rooting for her, but whatever is happening now, you're on the losing end.
Now let's go back to the past. She knows that once the affair was sexual, you will immediately file for a divorce, no questions asked, and she clearly knows that condition because it's been communicated during the early days of your relationship. So from your mind, she's withholding that information from you. She's claims all those things like she got scared and immediately left the apartment, and all that stuff. I don't believe that!
They had all the foreplay they needed in the world. They had 20-minute parking lot kissing and groping and all the time for themselves wherever they go and even inside the office. They clearly exchanged love hormones and once these exchanges happened, there's no turning back. You just don't get scared after kissing and groping for all those minutes with a person you're clearly into. Nope! That never happens. You don't chicken out from a person you love especially you've done all those foreplay with him. Nah! I Don't believe in that shit.
It was highly physical and sex definitely happened. Even you yourself knows that although you don't admit it. You even say that why didn't they just had sex for it to be over instead of putting you in this dilemma of moving on and letting go? Believe me, they had sex. They had all the time in the world to have sex. You don't just park the car in a place and do all the kissing and groping and then suddenly she chickens out when she touched his dick. Nope! She let him inside her panties already, clearly she's turned on from all the stuff they were doing. After all those minutes spent making out you'll just chicken out when you touch his penis? No sir!
Adults don't schedule alone time together in an apartment to have sex to suddenly give up during foreplay. No No No No!!! The sex definitely happened. She won't admit it happened because she knows that it's a deal breaker!
I just wrote this because of the facts that I gathered from all your previous threads. You just have to piece the story together and you can see the missing links. They've been going at it for a long time to just not let it all happen.
Again, all the best to you and good luck!
[This message edited by beb252 at 11:57 PM, Monday, July 12th]