My gf and I were having some problems two years ago and were in the process of separating but out of the blue (unplanned pregnancy). So I manned up and now have the most awesome little boy that has changed my world.
Two years later we still had trouble, one weekend we had a fight, she went to the lake district and came back saying that she'd met a guy and would probably like to start dating him ( but I'm sure something happened). We patched up but still lived separate.
Now another unplanned pregnancy (that's four unplanned pregnancies she's had in her life). This was on a Wednesday, I suspected it was intentional, she blammed the pill she was on didn't work while breast feeding but I didn't buy it. To be fair to her, I was pretty unexcited and unemotional, I felt I was intentionally trapped. Friday comes along, I look after the kids coz she wants to go to her friends house.
Low and behold - comes back tuesday we have an argument and she confessed to catching up with this guy again, they spent the weekend together, gave me a load of crap like, he wants to love me, has been rubbing my tummy telling me how much he could love the baby, they had sex, went to the markets, met his friends and all this was because I didn't want her.
BACKGROUND - she has PTSD and so does he, that's their common theme.
I'm now in a situation where I told her, it wasn't true and I did want her. She broke down and begged for forgiveness. (She has promised absolutely no way the kid is the other guys and offered a paternity test etc.)
SO.... I'm now in this absolutely mucked up situation where I took her back but I feel my dignity is gone. I actually went to see a counselor coz it has just stuffed my head up so much, I don't want to risk just losing it and hurting someone or myself.
What the hell do I do? I think I'm manning up by taking care of my boy and the unborn child however she has openly said, if we split up she will date this guy as she doesn't want to feel alone during this pregnancy.
Doesn't feel like she is committed but maybe that is her PTSD.
Do I stay or do I go? I'm just so lost.
I have an awesome relationship with my boy, I do shift work so see him 4 days on 4 days off, we hang out all the time. But with a newborn that I don't live with I wont form that bond, as babies need mothers nearby.
I'm scared for my boy with a new guy that is mentally unstable. I'm scared I wont have a strong relationship with my unborn child.
It will break my Mothers heart, who was intended to fly and visit us when baby was born.
I feel like I'm on an episode of Jerry Springer and not a funny one, just a screwed up mess.
She's even telling me this was all because I don't validate her feelings ( sometimes maybe true but certainly I do a lot, living with someone with PTSD isn't easy) and if I don't work, I will loose her to this guy.
So it's like she just wants ANYONE.
At the moment I want to try for the kids sake not for hers. TBH if there was no kids or only just one, I'd be off. But feel the need to man up and 'do the right thing' but I'm not sure what the right thing looks like anymore.
[This message edited by Stuckinarutt at 5:07 PM, November 17th (Tuesday)]