SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:43 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]

By the way too, I thought back 6 years ago. She told me that she is a trophy wife and I need to treat her as a trophy wife. Do normal women use these lines?

Do normal women use these lines?

Nah. It reeks of both insecurity and entitlement.

Edit: Now that you posted it, it triggered a distant memory of mine from a few years ago. My then girlfriend, who also later turned to be highly narcissistic, said something to the effect of "You should guard me better in case someone might steal me from you". Being the guileless bloke I am, I chalked it up to humorous banter and teasing. I realise now she was inadvertently offereing me a peek into her mentality - what she was really saying is: "I'm insecure and I need constant adulation from you, I also need you to put me on a pedestal because I need to be in control and I will have no qualms about being "stolen" provided someone better comes along". At that time it would never have occurred to me that a good person can't be "stolen".

[This message edited by Sceadugenga at 2:51 AM, September 25th (Friday)]

No, it’s not normal.

It made me think of this line from Raymond’s dad, Frank, from the sitcom “Everybody Loves Raymond”:

Frank: "You're a trophy wife? What contest in hell did I win?"

[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:43 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]

She told me that she is a trophy wife and I need to treat her as a trophy wife. Do normal women use these lines?

Um, no. Nope.

Only psychotic harpies from hell use these lines.

Brother you should read The Way of the Superior Man and No Mr. Nice Guy.

Start examining why you pedestalize women and instead start retraining your brain so you can relate to women as equals (though different with different needs).

The more you pedestalize a woman the more she will feel entitled to standing up on that pedestal.

[This message edited by Thumos at 8:36 AM, September 25th (Friday)]

I know it doesn't matter what she is doing focus on myself, but I keep wondering would a narcassist tell her attorney about the affairs to prepare for the divorce?

Not likely. People with narcissistic tendencies will try to protect the fake outward persona and anything that involves admitting to any shortcomings on their part is an anathema to them. What she could do, however, is to use the poisoning the well technique and paint you as a paranoid, unstable and pathologically suspicious husband. As in "Mr Attorney, my paranoid husband has been accusing me of numerous affairs throughout the years, I fear for the safety and well-being of my children". One more reason to tread very carefully.

None of us here are capable of analyzing your wife based on what you share here online. She might be a narcissist, bi-polar or whatever. She might not.

There is nothing “normal” about infidelity so don’t compare her actions to a “normal” person.

I doubt there is any advantage for you to think of her in that way or trying to compare her to normal.

It will make you see each and every action, text, word or e-mail from your wife as a threat.

Right now you two are divorcing. Focus on what has been suggested about journaling your day, interaction with the kids, finances, gathering info for your attorney and so on.

Her actions and reactions over the next few days and weeks are not likely to impact divorce in any major way – not unless you react to them.

[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:44 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]

Vonbock, that is why we have suggested to you to hire the forensic accountant time and again. If you and your attorney are able to show that she has committed either mail fraud, money laundering and you have proof, you can share that with the judge and ask for more custody of the kids.

You find out all the bad shit she's been doing and you wave that in front of the judge. If will affect his view of her, especially if she is caught lying in court, or on her filings. Its a big red flag for the judge. So when you go in and ask for more custody, you will be viewed as the stable and honest parent, you chances of more custody goes up.

Bigger is correct, your WW is trying to document on how good of a mom she is. You need to do the same, but at the same time, you need to find ways to blow holes in her argument. That means showing proof that she is a tax cheat, and fraud if you can find it. The Nanny giving a statement probably won't do much of you, but you should ask your attorney.

Have you gotten IC help yet? If not, find some time to go see one.

To answer your question, not all waywards have mental health issues. Its probably like 40%+ of couples have some sort of infidelity when you look at men and women combined, and that would mean a world filled with half the population that has mental health issues. Its just more likely that many of these people are selfish and entitled. I think you just need to focus on the kids and your health. You'll get thru this. Play the long game, and not your WWs game.

It made me think of this line from Raymond’s dad, Frank, from the sitcom “Everybody Loves Raymond”:

Frank: "You're a trophy wife? What contest in hell did I win?"

I have used that line all the time. Thought of the exact same thing when Vonnbock said that.

[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:45 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]

I'm sure that LLC investment is looking better and better right now.

By the way, the sentence above is sarcasm.

Do you know why divorces are so expensive? Because they are worth it!!!

Whenever she is not talking about the immediate needs of the kids, your only response should be, “my lawyer will handle that.” No anger, no any emotion of any kind. You are just detached.

Trophy wife.

Reminds me of that scene from everybody loves Raymond.

“What contest in the hell did I win, that you are my trophy wife?”

$3,000 for children’s bunk beds?? Cost of furniture, is outrageous over there. Must be gold plated!

Hang in there.

God bless you and your children

Cheers from Downunder and take care.

I dont even know what the thing looks like. I would have protested it if she told.me it was 3k. She just said i bought it already, pay me back later.

You should ask for the receipt. Sounds like she might be padding the cost to scam you for extra money.

[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:45 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]

How is she purchasing items if you cut the card?