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Vonbock (original poster member #75204) posted at 10:40 PM on Tuesday, September 29th, 2020
[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:48 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]
Newlifeisgreat ( member #71308) posted at 10:52 PM on Tuesday, September 29th, 2020
In this case, the truth will beat out her fantasy story. Not only because it’s the truth, but also because it’s juicier.
Do you know the name of scum bag? If so, make sure that your friends add his name to the story. that way, when he finally makes an appearance as her knight in shining armor, 4 or 5 months after the divorce is finalized, everybody will know that he was definitely the affair partner.
When do you think she’s gonna find out about the forensic accountant?
I hope you are carrying around a VAR for your safety at ALL TIMES!!!!
Once she realizes that everything is not gonna end up going her way, this nut job is liable to do anything and everything to get back at you for destroying her fantasy world. In her warped mind, it is already all your fault that her life isn’t perfect!!! And you know how vicious and vindictive she is!!!!
You’re doing great. Continue to stay strong.
[This message edited by Newlifeisgreat at 7:21 PM, September 29th (Tuesday)]
Betrayed Spouse. She cheated and I filed immediately upon discovering. She never even suspected that I knew until the moment she was served with reason being Adultery. Divorced: Sept, 2018. VERY happy with new life, 0 regrets
Kaliber ( member #74046) posted at 2:23 AM on Wednesday, September 30th, 2020
My friends tell people the truth and I am sure it has gotten back to her already
You don't know that for sure, expose her to all, and take control of the situation, be in charge!
You don't have a choice of being a victim, but you always have a choice of remaining one!
Vonbock (original poster member #75204) posted at 9:38 PM on Thursday, October 1st, 2020
[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:48 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]
Freeme ( member #31946) posted at 11:02 PM on Thursday, October 1st, 2020
He told me the price to look at unprocessed claims and her trying to drive her practice into the ground to get lower assets on her side.
Ok, that make sense for why she wasn't going to work and missing so many hours... she did seem to be planning this for awhile. It's interesting that she would do something like this and then send you a text like the one below....
She just sent me a text saying that a full day of mediation is going to cost 13k. We could have used that money for our kids instead.
Westway ( member #71747) posted at 12:02 AM on Friday, October 2nd, 2020
In terms of the current affair,all my friends and family agree that she knows I know about the affair. Otherwise, why did I divorce her so suddenly when I was so codependent on her in the past. Nothing else would explain it to her. She knows and also word is getting around the city about our divorce and what happened. She is using the "She didn't want the divorce because of the kids but husband was the one that wanted it "
My friends tell people the truth and I am sure it has gotten back to her already.
Never feel guilty about doing what you have to do to protect your reputation. Cheating assholes don't give a damn how much damage they do to their spouse's lives and reputation. As long as they come out smelling clean they don't care who they have to throw under the bus.
Me: 52;
XWW: 50 y.o. serial cheater
Married 22 years, Together 24
2 Daughters: aged 16 and 20
DDay: 9/20/19
Divorced 12/03/20.
Pandora16 ( member #56906) posted at 1:19 AM on Friday, October 2nd, 2020
I like the forensic accountant’s advice to threaten subpoena first. I bet she folds to hide whatever it is she’s hiding.
I’m glad you’re letting the truth of her affair get out there. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I found that almost everyone I know sympathized with me. My ex actually ran off to live in another town, I think to partly escape people’s judging eyes.
[This message edited by Pandora16 at 11:30 PM, October 1st (Thursday)]
D-Day #1 12/8/16 (ILYBINILWY), D-Day #2 12/17/16 (admitted to affair)
Divorced: 10/24/17
Married 20 years, together 24, 1 young adult son
Vonbock (original poster member #75204) posted at 3:30 AM on Friday, October 2nd, 2020
[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:49 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]
Buffer ( member #71664) posted at 7:12 AM on Friday, October 2nd, 2020
Keep at it
One day at a time
HalfTime2017 ( member #64366) posted at 9:31 PM on Friday, October 2nd, 2020
Good job Von. You are moving in the right direction. Keep the pressure on her. I suspect your wife has been trying to manipulate you by scaring you and using your kids to tug at your heart strings.
See thru her bullshit. The bank records that you want, are her corp tax returns for the optometry business along with her bank states. The other doc you want is the income statement and balance sheet from the business. I bet you're going to find all sorts of good shit in there like under reported income, along with fraudulent deductions. Small businesses like those under a management of a NARC are ripe with tax violations. A threat from your lawyer to send the info the the IRS is another form of leverage you're going to have really soon.
Good luck to you brother. Spend the weekend with your kids and keep building that relationship with them.
steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 1:00 PM on Tuesday, October 6th, 2020
How's it going Vonbock? Hanging in there I hope. Keep your chin up. Strength. Wishing you strength of mind and clarity of though.
BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020
thevengfulone ( new member #75603) posted at 2:59 PM on Tuesday, October 6th, 2020
She's cheating with a co-worker (boss). It upsets me she wants you to leave the house. Sounds like you are the only one taking care of the kids. If she's having trouble deciding if she's in love with you. Tell her to stop messing around with the co-worker, and if she won't then tell her she should leave the house. She's brought this on herself she should make the sacrifices not you. That was a good idea to take the kids to her work but you should not have told her you were. That would destroy her if you and the kids would have walked in on her and co-worker. Either way, it ruined her plans for the night!
thevengfulone ( new member #75603) posted at 3:00 PM on Tuesday, October 6th, 2020
She's cheating with a co-worker (boss). It upsets me she wants you to leave the house. Sounds like you are the only one taking care of the kids. If she's having trouble deciding if she's in love with you. Tell her to stop messing around with the co-worker, and if she won't then tell her she should leave the house. She's brought this on herself she should make the sacrifices not you. That was a good idea to take the kids to her work but you should not have told her you were. That would destroy her if you and the kids would have walked in on her and co-worker. Either way, it ruined her plans for the night!
Vonbock (original poster member #75204) posted at 3:27 AM on Wednesday, October 7th, 2020
[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:49 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]
Vonbock (original poster member #75204) posted at 1:00 AM on Thursday, October 8th, 2020
[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:49 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]
Pandora16 ( member #56906) posted at 2:58 AM on Thursday, October 8th, 2020
I really don’t think she wants to go to trial. But I do think she is trying to keep as much of her secrets hidden as she can. She may ask for the world and hope you’ll fold. But at the end of the day, she has more to lose than you do if it goes to trial.
D-Day #1 12/8/16 (ILYBINILWY), D-Day #2 12/17/16 (admitted to affair)
Divorced: 10/24/17
Married 20 years, together 24, 1 young adult son
Vonbock (original poster member #75204) posted at 3:02 AM on Thursday, October 8th, 2020
Another theory I have. Mediation is next Wednesday and she hasn't asked for my bank statements or my attorney asked hers. We only gave fis statements to each other before the mediation so details are not out
Fis is more.for child support.
She thinks I am innocent naive, nice guy and I would never harm the innocent mother of our children. So she is going to ask for the world at meditation to test me. If I fold because I am an empath and anxious, then she gets everything she wants. Mediation is more to gauge how I am going to fight. If she fights, then she gets affairs, tax evasion, money laundering brought out.
[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:12 PM, October 7th (Wednesday)]
Pandora16 ( member #56906) posted at 4:32 AM on Thursday, October 8th, 2020
I think you’re on to something with this.
Just keep your cool in mediation and let your lawyer do all the talking. My ex started to freak out when my lawyer line-by-line questioned my ex on his financial statement, particularly his investments. It became clear that my ex didn’t like having to explain anything about his financials. The less emotion you give away, the better off you are. Rooting for you!
D-Day #1 12/8/16 (ILYBINILWY), D-Day #2 12/17/16 (admitted to affair)
Divorced: 10/24/17
Married 20 years, together 24, 1 young adult son
Newlifeisgreat ( member #71308) posted at 1:37 PM on Thursday, October 8th, 2020
Stay strong!!!
Don’t give an inch to this conniving, manipulating witch!!!
Head up!! Shoulders back!! You have nothing to regret or being ashamed of!!!!
Stay laser focused on what is in your and the kids’ best interest!!!!
Betrayed Spouse. She cheated and I filed immediately upon discovering. She never even suspected that I knew until the moment she was served with reason being Adultery. Divorced: Sept, 2018. VERY happy with new life, 0 regrets
Vonbock (original poster member #75204) posted at 4:46 PM on Thursday, October 8th, 2020
[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:50 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]
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