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Yes, it is standard. Full disclosure from both sides.

yes, its standard. You need her financials, along with those of the business. How can your forensic accoutant do his work without those statements?

Vonbock, stay strong. If you feel like you're going to fold, let the lawyer handle it for you. As I see it, you should not be in mediation. You're barely getting all of the information on financials now and the mediation is next Wed? You have to give time for your attorney and the forensic accountant to review. They are playing games with you, by handing the information over last minute or if at all.

Stay strong, or she is going to really screw you over.

Yep...now the "fun" begins. Stay strong, don't waver.

[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:50 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]

Basically I get scared if I am not pleasing someone else.

Its called codependency. You need to see a therapist who counsels for this as well as PTSD.

If you know your weakness than why are you going to mediate with her. You have no ability to standup for yourself. If I were you, let the attorney do it than. You're setting yourself up for failure.

Your fear is going to harm your outcome.

I agree with HalfTime. Let your lawyer deal with all communication and agreements you can. Stay as far out of any negotiations as you can.

[This message edited by Vonbock at 2:23 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]

I forgot to mention to the lawyer about that deal but I wondering if my lawyer would prefer to see her assets before making any whats your is your and whats mine is mine deal

At this point your lawyer probably smells blood and wants to push this. From your descriptions here we can smell it too. Also remember your lawyer is a professional, she takes as much pride in her work as you do yours, she knows once discovery starts your wife's chances are going to collapse and she's going to settle.

Stick with your lawyer and listen to her.

Let your lawyer handle it but doesn't your WW suggesting... a you keep yours, I keep mine deal ... seem weird? Like she knows something that you don't and she doesn't want you to find out. (quick mediation).

All the financial shananigans she was pulling prior to filing... when you know she hasn't been working many hours, get's paid less than you. It all sounds sus to me.

mine yours deal is not worth the paper it was never written on.

WW can and will deny.

though it can be told to your lawyer as a possible negotiation

tool.

I would not bail on the financial forensics. that is the tool that

puts your WW between the hammer and the anvil.

A yours and mine deal??

Because she wants to be fair to you and she's so good natured or ???

Let the lawyer and accountant do their stuff.

I don't recall how long the marriage is but if it is long term the "I keep mine you keep yours" doesn't fly if you are in a community property state. Assets acquired during the marriage split 50-50 or negotiated in most cases. Until you are satisfied that you know how much she has hidden or off the books you cannot agree to that.

She may already own a LLC house or two and have very little cash.

Keep the accountant digging.

[This message edited by Vonbock at 10:00 PM, October 10th (Saturday)]

Aaaaaww!!!! Poor Muffin!

Her next residence might just be a federal pen!!!

I think this information is exactly why she wants to rush to a settlement.

I agree with your lawyer suggesting a consult with a tax lawyer. I think that’s more important than the forensic accountant. Separating out what’s hers from yours is a good way to go. If your name isn’t on any of her business and you clearly weren’t involved, I think you’ll be fine. The threat of an investigation should be enough to get what you want from her. But the tax lawyer and your lawyer are the best judge of your potential liability, if any. These pros have seen it all and it seems like you’ve hired a good lawyer, so listen to her advice.

I was thinking about you today. The sun was not yet in the sky and the air was cool. I was thinking as bad as this is I am glad you are almost free of this selfish person. You have a sharing nature. You value fairness and cooperation. It's not a weakness though she wants to use it for her advantage. I agree to let the lawyer do the work. She's clever and wants to be sneaky. Let her be exposed.

You will be so happy with someone who appreciates you. These sad days will pass.

What you both earn while you are married is considered marital assets.

Essentially you put it in a big pot, subtract any debts, then split it 50/50. If she's hiding debt or assets, then it gets real tricky.

Let the accountant or tax attorney do their work. Her shadiness will out. Always.

Stay strong.

It's hard to watch someone fall especially if you have a kind heart. She chose this path for her life. She feels she deserves more than what she had. What she had was very nice. She wasn't grateful. Two kids, a nanny, a nice home and helpful partner. She can wake up now. Maybe she learns, maybe not. I hope she will learn for your kids. Sometimes people need a wake-up lesson.

I see people like this and they are not comfortable aging. All their ego is in their looks and how to get things from people. It gets harder for them when they are older and now they are feeling even more entitled. It's a long climb out of that mindset. Of course she wants people to make this easier for her so she doesn't face what she has done. She should face it and change her life.

Von, how are you doing?