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Newest Member: DCS72

New Beginnings :
My very first post on New Beginnings!

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 2:05 AM on Friday, July 3rd, 2020

I thought it might be appropriate to post here, even though I am not yet divorced. Last New Year's, I chose a word for my year, FORWARD. Then I asked my colleagues to create a bucket list with activities that they think I should do. I have a jar with almost 50 things. No idea what they are yet due to covid, but I did pull one. I am going to spend half a day volunteering.

Anyway, being alone has shown me a few things. One is that the world is definitely not but for me. Based on double occupancy and table for two are just a couple of ways in which a single person stands out. I am growing accustomed to taking myself out for a meal or coffee. Basically, I do most things along as I am the only person I k ow that is alone. Since I dont read get invited over anymore, being a 5th wheel, I've gotten used to flying solo.

Since I had a week off with no kids coming up, decided to do a solo bike trip along a section of the Trans Canada trail. This will be my first solo trip as a single guy, although I did take a motorcycle trip alone to decide if I was going to divorce or not.

I've no idea what to expect. I bout a used bike trailer and a few things I didn't have, and have packed them up and leave in two days. I've got a micro camp chair, Cuban cigars, and a bottle of cheap whiskey, not mention a pack fly rod. I have no idea what to expect, but I feel something like excitement. Not sure what it is, but it approximates some of the positives emotions I remember once having.

I am looking forward to new experiences and new friends.

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced

posts: 1875   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8557061
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Jesusismyanchor ( member #58708) posted at 4:54 AM on Friday, July 3rd, 2020

That sounds really fun and cool! It has been a journey for me to feel comfortable alone.

I was M most of my adult life and had no plans to for that to change. I really felt like I have not fit into my old life full of couples and families. The 5th wheel thing is hard and it can feel so very lonely and painful.

I have learned so much about how strong I am and quite frankly have discovered some new things about myself. I am still on the journey. I am good to do it alone for now. I have become comfortable sitting on the bank of a lake and watching the sunset or jumping on my bike an going for a ride solo. It took me quite awhile to get here and every now and then I still shed a tear, but I am learning to enjoy and love who I am.

I know what you mean when you feel something that you have not felt in awhile. It seems so small but that is huge. To me it gives me the tiniest hope I need that I will be ok or feel like myself again.

Go for it!

[This message edited by Jesusismyanchor at 10:56 PM, July 2nd (Thursday)]

Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future

posts: 2686   ·   registered: May. 12th, 2017   ·   location: Texas
id 8557105
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 12:02 PM on Friday, July 3rd, 2020

And you never know who you will meet along the way. New friends and new experiences!

Have you thought about meet-up - there is an app and they host tons of events. Look into it. You’d be surprised what’s out there.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14272   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8557172
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J707 ( member #63778) posted at 3:18 PM on Friday, July 3rd, 2020

I went solo camping last summer for the first time in my life. It was awesome! Just me, my guitar, my thoughts. It helped me understand that I was going to be ok. I was on my schedule without having to be dad or a partner (my D was actually finalized that weekend) I found out when I returned.

During that trip though, my neighbor camper lady befriended me. She was waiting for her friends to show up. We talked about life and experiences. She opened my eyes to travel as a single person. Just as I was solo camping, she traveled the world solo. Once I got home I looked into airfare. It's cheaper for me to fly to Italy than to the east coast, especially if you go in non touristy times of the year. She planted seeds in my head. Well 2020 happened so those plans are put on hold for now but if I didn't go camping, I wouldn't have met that nice woman. Were still friends today, just little chit chats back in forth. So you never know who you'll meet or talk to or experience.

Enjoy your trip, relax and just do what you wanna do, it's your time, your schedule.

posts: 1113   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2018   ·   location: Ca
id 8557208
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Anna123 ( member #70908) posted at 3:43 PM on Friday, July 3rd, 2020

Yay for new beginnings! Another solo idea. I purposely go (before damn Covid) to listen to live music by myself instead of with friends. I love to get lost in the music and really listen and when I'm with others I end up in conversation. Listening to music alone is very comfortable compared to being somewhere with nothing to look at as well. You eventually get to know the musicians enough to feel more comfortable that way also.

Enjoy your bike trip, whiskey, and cigars!! It sounds amazing.

posts: 692   ·   registered: Jul. 1st, 2019   ·   location: USA
id 8557213
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BobPar ( member #62993) posted at 5:09 PM on Friday, July 3rd, 2020

That sounds like a really good trip planned. The cigar, whiskey, fishing rod trifecta.

DDay 1 (AP1) and 2 (AP2) 2015 DDay 3 (AP 3) and 4 (AP4) 2016There was some overlap with 3 and 4)False R 2016Suspect more from exWW

posts: 542   ·   registered: Oct. 9th, 2016   ·   location: MI
id 8557285
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Sofarsogood ( member #71991) posted at 6:29 PM on Friday, July 3rd, 2020

Sounds like a great trip! The only thing I'd change is go with a good whiskey! (You probably deserve it!)

posts: 352   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8557324
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 3:33 AM on Saturday, July 4th, 2020

Hahaha. I actually bought the whiskey based on the bottle. I chose plastic to dave the weight... Right now, I am stripping my pack to get the weight down. The whiskey is mission critical kit, so it stays...

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced

posts: 1875   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8557449
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 3:40 AM on Saturday, July 4th, 2020

When you say bike trailer, do you mean a trailer you pull behind your bicycle? I've seen those! They are pretty awesome, and you can sleep in some of them! Or are you still talking motorcycles...?

Either way, it sounds amazing. Give us the skinny when you get back .

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4524   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8557450
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 2:19 PM on Saturday, July 4th, 2020

Mountain bike with paniers and a burley travoy trailer. It's all packed and I leave in two hours. Looks like I'll have good weather for at least a few days.

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced

posts: 1875   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8557501
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hopefullife ( member #71881) posted at 2:42 PM on Saturday, July 4th, 2020

That sounds awesome Justsomeguy. New experiences give you new perspectives, have a great time!

10 yrs together. 2 yrs married. No kids.
2 Ddays. H living with OW and their child.
Focusing on self.

posts: 402   ·   registered: Oct. 20th, 2019
id 8557518
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JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 4:05 AM on Monday, July 6th, 2020

That sounds incredible! Welcome to your new beginning.

posts: 9505   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 8557918
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 7:15 PM on Sunday, July 12th, 2020

Okay, back from my trip. It was a dozy. Ended up cutting the trip shirt due to bike issues, but I definitely had an adventure. Got back and had some time still remaining, so I hopped in the car and headed to the coast to spend some time with my BFF. He is going through a S right now. No A, just a couple whi recognizes that the relationship is coming to an end. Must be nice not to have betrayal and deceit as the cause of this...

I will be taking my bike to the shop and getting things squared away so I can do it again. Maybe I'll go with someone next time...

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced

posts: 1875   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8560688
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SoHappyNow ( member #8923) posted at 8:52 PM on Sunday, July 12th, 2020

Hip hip hooray for your first adventure! May it be followed by many more....and I hope you fall in love with yourself! Remember to put your own oxygen mask on first, and THEN help others.

In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer..Albert Camus--------73 now. Dday #1 was 11/11/05 ***Used to be hit-by-a-train*** Widowed, then VERY happily remarried 2/14/14

posts: 2673   ·   registered: Nov. 23rd, 2005   ·   location: USA
id 8560724
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 2:04 AM on Monday, July 13th, 2020

Welcome home, JSG. Sounds like quite an adventure! Go you!!

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4524   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8560807
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Ripped62 ( member #60667) posted at 6:57 AM on Monday, July 13th, 2020

👏👏👏

Well Done!

posts: 3177   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2017   ·   location: United States of America
id 8560867
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Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 7:22 AM on Monday, July 13th, 2020

Glad you had a good time, in spite of the bike problems.

I'm used to flying solo, and rather enjoy it. The more you do, the more comfortable you get.😎

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 9059   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 8560871
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 Justsomeguy (original poster member #65583) posted at 4:12 AM on Tuesday, July 14th, 2020

Thanks all.😁

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced

posts: 1875   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8561328
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 5:21 AM on Tuesday, July 14th, 2020

Yea. You go jsg

I thought I would hyperventilate travelling solo... but I made myself sit through the experience of eating alone, staying alone etc.

All pre covid of course!

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1806   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8561349
Topic is Sleeping.
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