10 yrs together. 2 yrs married. No kids. 2 Ddays. H living with OW and their child. Focusing on self.

Capacity to love

I think I mentioned this once before, but my friend just recently reiterated her views why I shouldn't shy away from love.

I kept telling her how this ordeal made me cynical and how I'd never trust another soul with my heart. She said she still prays love for me because my capacity to love is so great it's a waste to not have somebody receive it. I think it's true for all of us betrayed here in SI.

It's a bit softening hearing that reasoning instead of the usual 'you dont let him define you' or the 'you'll find a much more better man'.

I'm not out of the woods and I still wonder if I'll ever recover. But I just wanted to share with all of you here who are on their new beginnings.

Good luck to all :) May we heal enough to open ourselves someday to the person who deserves it.

8 comments posted: Sunday, March 1st, 2020

Attending Weddings

I've been lucky so far no friend is getting married soon (at least until end of the year) so it's an i'll deal with it later thing. Well, that was until I realized my sister is getting married in two months.

I'm happy for her. I genuinely am. My mom has told me about this but they tread lightly because of what I'm going through. But a while ago it slipped and I asked about the date since I'm planning another travel soon. We were able to discuss wedding plans and I even offered a few advice. Nice talk. But goodness, after it ended I just feel so heavy. My heart is racing in a negative way. I'm dreading an event I'm supposed to be really thrilled of.

I've always known I'd have to face such sooner or later but if it's with friends I can refuse attending or attend since very few in there knows about my struggles anyway. But with family.. how do you not go? How do you deal with attending a celebration of love/commitment you recently just lost? I'm not ready but I don't want to not go also. This sucks

13 comments posted: Monday, February 24th, 2020