Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future
My Journey From Shattered To Restored. There Is Hope
On December 28th several years ago my world fell apart when I discovered the affair. With 3 young kids and heartbreak, I thought I would die. I literally thought my heart would stop. Life felt black as I eventually would find out it was the tip of the ice berg. I battled through depression, PTSD, broken dreams, judgement, guilt, fear, anger and pretty much any negative feeling including feeling like I was better off dead. I wish I had died many times and asked God to take me. He had other plans. After counseling, support groups, church and so on, trying R, eventually I navigated a painful divorce that I would not wish on anyone I hated. So where am I now after all of this pain and trauma? What happened after hope felt so far away or like it did not even exist? What happened after I did not love myself after emotional and physical abuse and rejection? I even thought about cutting my wrist once and many times lay on the floor weeping and having a panic attack or not being about to get out of my car crying just sitting in the grocery store parking lot. After being married to a complete liar that broke my heart and shattered my life?
After being afraid and broke in a scary way...I have re-established my career and am making 6 figures as a single mom. I am a home owner that just bought myself a brand new car that I saved up for a long time. I navigated the divorce and got the better end of it. My kids are absolutely thriving. They have done well in school and are achieving their dreams, including my oldest in college. We have established a new normal where they see their mom stand up for herself and them. I feel free and I love myself. I try to help others and am there for my friends whose lives are falling apart with empathy and compassion. I have new dreams and feel completely SAFE. I am confident and will not allow anyone to treat me poorly. I take care of my health and look great for my age. Men hit on me all the time and I have dated someone who cares for me and my kids. It was NOT hard at all to find a man who found it to be a privilege to be in my life and could not believe what my H passed up. He has listened to my distrust and been with me in my tears. God has restored broken pieces in my heart. I will never be the same person that I was before and I still have times of sadness. I have scars. It is hard sometimes and I get tired. I have accepted that my future will not be what I thought it would be. I have accepted that I could not save my H or my marriage. I have accepted it all happened and that I have survived. Most importantly, I did not stop and give up in the desert of pain and fear when I felt life hurt and I could not breath anymore.
You are stronger than you think you are. You can recover. You can find hope again. You can heal even if there will always be pain points. You can find some peace and joy and will smile again. You are worth the fight to love yourself and people love you. You are better off on this earth and really feel I need to tell you this as I have a friend that took her life in the low season when there was a higher season around the corner. I have made it to the other side and you can too.
4 comments posted: Saturday, February 8th, 2025
