thebighurt posted 10/9/2020 12:12 PM

WR, I'm glad your injury may not be as bad as feared and that wearing a shoe helped. I'm also confused by what you said about your H's response about what he feels is the failure of the nerve block, that he can still feel pain in his stomach and bladder. I have no real knowledge about his condition of being paralyzed below the armpits, I guess, but wouldn't that mean he can't feel pain in those areas? Constant pain is a horrible way to live, and I'm sure it can exacerbate depression. I really hope he can get relief from both.

Jeaniegirl posted 10/10/2020 22:36 PM

I guess I am not alone with how I am feeling? Reading a news article today about how this pandemic is causing such depression and I believe it. I'm being as safe as possible and the isolation is starting to creep in. I'm so accustomed to getting in my car and taking road trips but now that's not possible. I lost a good friend and his outside memorial service is next week and I've been asked by his wife to speak - and even the thought of that scares me.
Tonight I've been watching 'spotlights' of families who have lost loved ones to Covid19 and found myself in tears several times, watching their stories.

I am alone with my fur babies for company. I find myself envying those with someone in their home to talk to.

I guess I'm trying to figure out how to fight this isolated feeling. Never in my life have I had depression as I've always been to busy and involved with people and .... things ... no time for depression. In one year I've lost three people very close to me, people who were a huge part of my life, including my Mom. A big part of me is glad they aren't here to go through this pandemic but I feel so deprived that they are GONE.

I had started a home renovation right before the pandemic hit so that's on hold now, with things 'undone.' Not sure when I can lure workers back out to finish up.

Anyway, just wanted to share my feelings and wonder if anyone else - especially those alone - are experiencing this?

I hope everyone is doing well.

leafields posted 10/10/2020 23:17 PM

@jeaniegirl if you can feel comfortable, go and honor your friend. Masking up and 6' distancing does work. If you have other health issues, then keep that in mind, as well as how the city is doing on positive rates.

Yes, depression can be an issue. I like being alone and rarely get bored, so not much of an issue for me. But, I'll be so glad to be able to get a pedicure or go without a mask.

Jeaniegirl posted 10/11/2020 01:34 AM

Thanks, Lea. I have never had a problem being alone and I do keep busy. I'm also working from home still so there is that.

I just feel so confined and wonder if there is ever going to be an end to this tragic time. I sure hope so.

Planning to go honor my friend. We've been close friends since 7th grade. I just can't NOT go.

WhatsRight posted 10/11/2020 05:14 AM

My H’s spinal cord injury was incomplete, so sadly he can feel pain. He can tell when his bladder is full, for example, but no control.

Can feel light touch on his leg yet once got a 3rd degree burn because his leg was against a hot water pipe under a sink at a hotel. Didn’t know it was burning till he smelled it! Ugh!

number4 posted 10/11/2020 12:20 PM

A big part of me is glad they aren't here to go through this pandemic

My dad was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer a month before 9/11 (he died two months after 9/11), and he was a WWII vet. The thought has occurred to me that he didn't have to witness the chaos of what happened to this country after that tragedy. So yea, I get it.

ZenMumWalking posted 10/11/2020 12:47 PM

Just checking in to say that me and mine are all well. One sister in California who has been furloughed for about 6 months, but she's getting all her house projects done now (lol).

No one is sick, although most family members live in StL, where things are getting worse I think? Mom and sister stay indoors almost all the time, brother has to go to work, he works on cars. SIL can work from home. Nieces and nephews work outside the home, all in 'essential worker' type jobs (police officer, psychologist in an adult home, emt).

I can still work entirely from home, I just have to make videos of my lectures.

I'm sorry that so many of you are having a difficult time. Sending out strength and MOJO to you all!!

((((everybody))))

WhatsRight posted 10/13/2020 11:20 AM

Jeaniegirl...

I’m so very sorry for your losses.

I also totally get how hard it will be for you to speak at your friend’s memorial.

I would like to share that when my BIL died, who was also very dear to me, my H woke up the night before his funeral feeling a strong need to make clear the tremendous positive quality’s his brother had, because he had also made some poor choices.

I wrote what my H shared with me he wanted to say, but then he told me he couldn’t do it...would I?

I couldn’t imagine being able to do it with any composure. Just before the service, I shared with my mom that I just didn’t think I could do it. Normally being an extremely coddling person, she looked at me and responded with, “Of course you can. Your H needs you to do it, and you can and you will!”

Despite what you may think of her response, it was very empowering to me. And I did it. I was shaking like a leaf...but I did it for my BIL, my H, and for me.

I have no doubt you will be able to speak at the service. And that you will honor yourself, his wife, and him with the very act of doing it!

And you will be so glad in retrospect that you did.

I always said after I spoke at my BIL’s service, that if I didn’t already believe in God before that, that I certainly would after it.

In other words, we can and do more than we think we can every day.

Lots of prayers coming your way for strength!!!

Jeaniegirl posted 10/13/2020 12:04 PM

Whatsright, thank you. I have spoken at several memorials. This friend was so special to me. It's an example of how men and women CAN be long term platonic friends for many, many years. We actually had a conversation about this a couple of years ago, a lighthearted convo about speaking at each other's memorials and his request was to tell all the FUN times we'd had and to let his kids know he was a good kid all through school. :) Like Kobe Bryant, he was a GIRL DAD with 7 daughters. So he so respected women. I'm honored to tell them about all the good things he did for people. He was the type of friend you could call at midnight if you had a flat tire and it was raining. OR if you needed help moving. Priceless friend.

I just got a call and even though I'm the only speaker, because of the military honors, my time is cut to 20 minutes. But that's okay, I will condense.

I hope your H is better today and you aren't pushing yourself to exhaustion. Take care of YOU.

WhatsRight posted 10/13/2020 14:11 PM

❤️

WhatsRight posted 10/15/2020 06:20 AM

We’ve all heard quite enough about the continuing saga of it is my life! Ha ha

Y’all keep posting about how things are with YOU.

DragnHeart posted 10/15/2020 08:35 AM

Its 9:15 am and I'm already ready for a beer and shot of whiskey...ready set vent...

The kids have been non stop assholes to eachother (and me) for a few days now. Arguing, fighting, yelling. Omg. All over stupid shit too. Eg. Ds wants to watch a movie, dd demands he play with her her outside. Major yelling match happens. I usually have to intervene amd tell her to knock it off before she loses something.

I've taken away electronics, no screen time at all, including movies, made them clean and they still wont stop. They all have mouthes like sailors right now. Had I acted this way when I was a kid and spoke that way to MY parents I would have got an asswhopping. And that's exactly what these kids need now.

Dd is such an entitled selfish bitch at times all I see is her father in her coming out. She appreciates nothing I do for her. So I dont do anything. She keeps demanding a new backpack, new binder, new pants (all of which we just got her) and since I refuse to shes just gotten worse. She expects everyone to do as she says all the time.

I asked DS to put his dirty socks that he left on the kitchen table into his laundry basket three times. The fourth time I handed him the basket and told him to do it or hed be doing his own laundry from now on.

They all know that if they go outside to play and I hear screaming, fighting etc then they ALL come inside. Last night that was the case.

Wh never used to be on board with my parenting, discipline etc until DD mouthed off to him. Now he knows if she loses her phone she loses it. Period.

Our community is doing social distanced trick or treating and the kids will not be going if their attitude and behaviours dont improve.

But in the mean time I'm left feeling like all I do is referee constantly. I'm tired of the noise.

I never should have listened to how I was suppose to parent and just did what I wanted from the start. No bullshit. Do as your damn well told or lose everything. And right now I coukd strip their bedrooms down to the bare mattress and take off their doors and not feel bad about it one bit.

thebighurt posted 10/15/2020 11:49 AM

Jeanniegirl, you will be an outstanding representative for your dear friend. I'm sure everyone attending will be very moved by your words.

WR, I'm sorry if my question caused you to put more than you are comfortable putting on here. I was just showing my ignorance.

Dragn, I know those days well. Thankfully. When I was dealing with those attitudes, there were not many options for them to do so they needed to get along. That also means that I had fewer things to threaten that they would lose! I really can't complain because they were very good for the most part. I do remember one day when the first two got swatted and the youngest said he got the message and wouldn't do any of that! Quick study!

As for me, the high dose flu shots have been very hard to get around me but I managed to score one this morning. I took a chance and went early, first in line when they had luckily just gotten a delivery. I had been calling everywhere daily. Have been inside very few places and mostly just order curbside or delivery. I was having a hard time for a while in the summer but pretty much past it now and back to being fine on my own with the little in-person contact I have. I'm really fine on my own most of the time.

My parents were older when they had me. They were young children in the last 1918 flu pandemic so I heard stories about it but now wish I had asked more questions of them. I lost one grandparent because of it.

MOJO to everyone to stay healthy and safe.

WhatsRight posted 10/16/2020 23:55 PM

Dragn:

A time comes to mind when we had a day something like the one you described. Lots of fussing, complaining and fighting.

I heard one of the boys yell that another one of them had hit the youngest with a tonka truck (young people search Google).

In short, a good sized, heavy, metal truck.

I remember asking, “Did it hit his head?” Answer was “Yes”.

My response...”OK”.

When I heard what I said, I ran to check on him, but my youngest had a really hard head!

WhatsRight posted 10/17/2020 00:03 AM

And, oh...

PS: At some point - they were all still under double digits in age - after I had washed, dried, folded and stacked their clean laundry in their rooms (and all they had to do was put it away) I would fin the neatly folded stack of clothes back in the dirty clothes.

Turns out they would leave the clothes on the bed, the dogs would lie on them and get them dirty, so back in the laundry they would go. Still folded.

One day I had had it. I called to them sweetly and told them we were going to learn to do something fun. Never did their laundry again.

WhatsRight posted 10/17/2020 08:29 AM

How is everyone on this fine morning?

WhatsRight posted 10/18/2020 15:39 PM

The tv says Covid is on the uptake again - at least in my area.

Is everybody staying safe???

Jeaniegirl posted 10/18/2020 17:12 PM

It appears the virus is on the rise world-wide.

DragnHeart posted 10/18/2020 17:33 PM

It appears the virus is on the rise world-wide

This seems to be the official second wave.

Here more areas are being scaled back to phase two (phase one, two and three for opening).

Most are in the city centers. Out here numbers are still low but it's still scary.

While I'm always worried about all of this I am a bit happy today. Our shower/tub taps have been screwed up. Very old style, one for hot one for cold. The hot water would barely trickle. Took at least 45 minutes to fill the tub for baths. Shower...ya cold water was ok but hot didnt work.

Being on a well this is a common issue around here. So I told wh to see if he could get the tap handle off so we could see if the pipe was blocked with gunk. Handle came off, then the inside part but it looked broken. Not knowing exactly how it was supposed to look I headed to the hardware building store. Had an informative chat with an employee who was amazingly helpful.

Text wh that a piece was still inside, texted a photo to him of the new part I bought, told him he had to turn off the water then wd40 the area and pray the part pulled out.

(Take note of bolded part...)

I was finishing my grocery shopping when his number came up as incoming call. Dd answers, of course my heart slips a beat. She says dad needs to talk to me but HES ALL WET....ya you guessed it he didnt turn off the water....

This inside part had broken and wasnt allowing the water through, instead back flowing just behind the tiles...and causing a heck of alot of damage.

So I get home with new part, part is wrong part, I head back into town with the part we removed to compare and get home. We fix the tap and now have hot and cold running water and finally NO leaks. So much damage has already been done however that we will be ripping out the tiles around the tub, the tiles on the floor, the majority of floor boards and replacing all of it. Figure its best to put in a prefabricated surround around the tub instead of just tiling the wall again.

And while we have the wall apart we will be replacing all of the pipes, fixtures etc.

Winter project here we come.. usually I'd be all stressed and upset but wh and I got through this pandora of plumbing problems and made it out thr other side without any arguing or bkoe ups. And tomorrow after everyone is at work and school I'm filling up that tub and having a very hot bath.

Lionne posted 10/18/2020 19:50 PM

This was the sky on our second whale watch. Mom and her competition pod continued to mug us until it was full dark.

This is one of the bulls bothering mom. The blood is from all the jousting with the other males.

[This message edited by Lionne at 8:02 PM, October 18th (Sunday)]