BeyondRage
Lost,
If the thought of tens of thousands of dollars nauseates you, imagine what it will do to her. She has no support like your parents and no major financial assets. She is bluffing, and counting on you to eventually go for either a false R or in house separation. Now that you don't give a shit if she is still cheating her ace card is not there any more. She only had the upper hand when you were hoping she would break total contact with him. And you know that has not happened, you heard with your own two ears what she has said to him, and the real world is now here for her.
That's a good damned point.
Do not let her back you down. It is HARDBALL time. This smoking bull shit is nonsense. Second hand smoke does not give you cancer for short term situations. You are not planning on moving in to your parents for years.
You need to get your plan and attorney ready to go. When she needs an attorney, how is she going to afford that and pay for the house herself.
If i were you, every time you think of accomadating her on ANYTHING, i would remind yourself of how long and how openly and disrespectful she has been to you just since D Day.
You are on offense. STAY THERE!!!
Yes, I think I will. The only two options I will consider are:
1. My moving in with parents - 50/50 kids
2. Her paying me out - 50/50 kids
I'm okay with both of those options - I just doubt she's going to be able to get the second one. I'm going to talk with her about this soon.
Stevesn
LO
I was just trying to understand the full picture. Are you saying there is $70k of equity in the house and that you are telling her that you will give her your half if she lets you live with your parents?
Yes, that's exactly what I offered her. The precise amount of equity depends on a few factors, but essentially that's it.
Was that an economic analysis you did to say the money you will save living w your parents will be more financially beneficial to u than taking the $35k? Eg Saving in rent and other costs? Do you know how long you Wil have to stay with your parents to make up that $35k?
Thanks.
Basically yes - the 35k would essentially be what I would save living with my parents, however I obviously wouldn't have them physically there for me. I'm not quite sure how long I'd need to stay with my parents, but I estimate about a year, probably less, actually. I get a bonus so that factors into things and I just did a rough calculation.
thatbpguy
Just my $0.02, but trying to be fair and negotiate if failing. At some point in time (probably now), you need to put your war paint on, drop the mediation, lawyer up and just go for it. She brought this all on you and now it's time for her to own up.
I agree with you here. I'm going to try to talk it out with her, which might be pointless, but she was an emotional wreck in the mediation - I'm sure she called a few people since then. NOT ANY BANKS, I'M SURE, but whatever. Maybe I'm too skeptical. Probably - but that's because I feel caged.
So I will try to talk some sense into her.
That said, I talked with the mediator the EARLIEST we can next meet is March 23rd. I scheduled it. That's a kick in the nuts, but I can do this. I've gotten this far.
Edit: I forgot to add - when my wife was confirming the 23rd, she was skeptical about the necessity of the mediator. She thinks we can do this 'ourselves'. Which I think is a horrible idea for many reasons - yeah, it would save us money, I get that, but at the expense of covering our asses. That's not just me being paranoid - it's looking out for her too. She should realize that this is all about protection and crossing 'T's and dotting 'i's. Yes, her sister didn't do any of this, she just filed paperwork.
But her sister gets no child support, the Ex RARELY sees his kids and, occasionally, when he takes them out for a few days he's been living in his car (which obviously the kids did too). I want to say that this is related to the other poor decisions she's made (cheating, father in her life, etc).
Whatever though, I'M NOT risking no legal protection. Fuck that. I love my kids.
[This message edited by TheLostOne2020 at 10:33 AM, February 20th (Thursday)]