Thanks Ellie! I know it's ok to, it's just that I don't. Being an introvert, it's hard for me to people all day, and I really do need a break from it. But I still like to come home and be around the people that I love. I don't do well living alone. I can get into a hermit-type funk way too easily.
After all the peopling I do for work during the day, I want to come home and wind down, but I like it to be amongst people I care about. Even just doing my own thing and not talking to anyone because we need our space, but knowing that we're all there together. I'm not sure if that makes sense. It's one of the many reasons why the exit A and losing the girls at the same time was so hard.
But circumstances were that I needed to get a place quickly so that I could work again, and given that I had 5 cats to take in since XH was going to leave them in a back alley if I didn't, roommates weren't really an option. I do like that I got a 1 bedroom and not a studio. I did that intentionally, so that in case the girls did need to come to me there would be enough room for them too.
I have a friend who also went through a divorce recently who I would consider living with again (we were roommates in college and in our 20s), but she has a giant dog that would probably eat my cats soooooo, here I am.
I really don't need much. I'm content with very little. A nice warm bed, clean towels, animals to cuddle with and a TV or computer to watch my crime shows. The extra trimmings and what not only feel good when it's all there to share with other people.
I used to decorate the girls' bathroom on every holiday. I would wait until they went to sleep, then sneak in there and put those little window clings up on their mirror, for whichever holiday it was - valentine's day, st. patrick's day, Easter, halloween etc. - and leave them a little treat. Something my mom used to do for us too. She used to mail holiday themed care packages to me in college, and then started doing it again for the girls once they lived with us.
I decorated my place for all of the holidays this year too, but it just felt like I was going through the motions. We're social creatures, I just feel more grounded when I have that family at home. Without it, it feels kind of like I'm just floating along.
I guess that's what keeps me coming here to SI every day. It feels like a community to be a part of. Not that online interaction is a replacement for in-person. But since I only have a couple of friends who actually live in my town, and they're always so busy we only talk via text anyway, I feel like most of my communication has become via some kind of written channel.
You know those days when you just really feel like you need a hug, but there's no one it would be appropriate to hug around you? That's pretty much been me every day for the last year. I bought a weighted blanket, and it's helpful of course, but there's still nothing like a good hug. It doesn't help that I realllllly don't like getting hugs from anyone except for a select few people. Pretty much my SO, my parents, my brother, and my grandma. I'm very much in a personal space bubble when it comes to anyone else.
Anyway, now I'm just rambling. I've got too much time on my hands since my call time isn't for another hour.
Oh, and Ellie, yeah we always had issues with cats and ribbon... it's so fun to see hairballs full of it 
I honestly just stopped buying it. I get cloth ribbon now, which has helped, I think because it doesn't make that same crinkly sound that they seem to love. I also try to get it wide, which seems to deter them. I also find that at Marshalls or Home Goods... we don't have HG near us, I actually have to drive quite a ways to get to one, but it's worth it!
