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I Can Relate :
Betrayed Womenz Thread - Part 3

Topic is Sleeping.
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 12:41 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2019

It is still early!

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8478198
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Maudlin ( member #70107) posted at 1:54 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2019

OK the gym appt story is hilarious. But I can’t really figure out why no sex is “bad for your health”? What does that mean exactly, as “sex” can be a million different things? In terms of owning a vagina, that is. I’m stumped on that one!

LLCAH swears he will get the state residency question answered before the kids and I leave for Christmas, I dont want to waste money and be contentious but I swear I’ll just retain a fucking lawyer if he doesn’t. I found a mediation service that can walk us thru it all but we need to prove state residency, and he is the one who can do it.

The endless foot dragging and “lets chat about our day” when I have to see him really grates. We are not friends. We will not be friends. I have to see him for certain things but I don't want to be his buddy and chat when I do.

Enjoy those work Christmas parties alone, loser.

posts: 168   ·   registered: Mar. 20th, 2019
id 8478242
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 2:17 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2019

You can decline having others in exam rooms. I do it all the time. I had an extremely humiliating experience at a teaching hospital when I was pregnant with my 1st. I wasn't aware it was a teaching hospital. I didn't realize that, by just being there, I had consented to be examined by doctors in training until probably 10 people walked in the room with me, at 20,

naked from the waist down with my feet in stirrups. No one asked me before they all came in.

Nope, never again! I am not a guinea pig. You can go learn on someone else. I make a point to read all thefune print on any medical forms I'm signing. I cross out and initial anything that I don't blanketly (made a new word) agree to, which is almost everything. Basically, I agree to b he there and be seen by my doctor. That's it. Anything else, including a routine exam, needs to be specifically consented to again at the time.

Still nothing from SOS?

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8478253
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 3:40 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2019

The lining of vaginal walls thin without stimulation. So sex becomes painful. The phrase use it or lose it was used in this explanation.

So I learned. Not something I would have ever asked or thought of.

[This message edited by Tallgirl at 9:41 AM, December 6th (Friday)]

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8478346
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DaisyAnne ( member #71434) posted at 4:01 PM on Friday, December 6th, 2019

Oh the things we women have to go through.

Coco, i reminded him of all those things.

I’m now wondering about SOS too. Hopefully she’s just busy. Heartbroken83 too.

Happy Friday womenz! Cheers to getting through yet another week. We have a fun date night tonight. Dinner and then a concert.

Me: BW - early 40's
Him: WH - late 40's
Married: 18 years, together 24
2 teenage children
Dday: 5/23/19
Reconciling

posts: 241   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2019
id 8478358
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 1:03 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

I sent SOS a PM earlier today. She hasn't responded yet.

I'm concerned because of something HellFire posted about her CH. Does anyone know his name on here?

And, that stupid sexual history thread is 45 pages long now!

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8478675
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 1:46 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

I read a few posts from him a few weeks ago in wayward. What did hellfire say?

I will scan but it was about 3 or 4 wks ago

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8478687
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 1:51 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

Now that's a thread I'm glad I avoided and at 45 pages I don't think I'll even venture there.

Happy Fucking Friday Womenz.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3269   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8478691
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 1:51 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

Coco you have a pm.

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8478692
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 1:51 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

Happy fucking Friday

Woot woot

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8478693
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 5:54 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

OMG... I did NOT know this was a thing!!!

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3145   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8478770
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HeHadADoubleLife ( member #68944) posted at 7:33 AM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

Hahahaha Ellie, I heard about these a while ago. I seriously considered sending my X the divorce papers along with a glitter bomb, a dildo, and a note that says "Please use this gift to Go Fuck Yourself!"

I won't actually go through with it, but a girl can dream!

BW
DDay Nov 2018
Many previous DDays due to his sex addiction

Hurt me with the truth, but don't comfort me with a lie.

Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.

posts: 830   ·   registered: Nov. 26th, 2018   ·   location: CA
id 8478782
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 2:57 PM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

Haha, Ellie. Yeah, I got one once. I knew what it was, so I didn't open it. I'm pretty sure I know who sent it.

TG, I thought I was in trouble! Don't scare me like that, girl!

Fch and I are doing some Christmas shopping today after yoga. We're signed up for a special Take Bakc the Night yoga class to raise money for sexual assault victims. Last I checked, we were the only 2 signed up,though, so it may not happen.

Either way, we'll go shopping. It's military appreciation weekend at the mall, and it's also their pop up holiday vendor weekend. I got some really cool stuff last year.

We'll probably get a tree this weekend, too. I have always waited until the weekend just before Christmas to get a tree. I didn't like the idea of decorating for the entire month. I'd leave the tree up until Jan 2, and that was it. This year, for some reason, I've wanted a tree up since the 1st. I didn't get one last weekend because it was rainy and cold. This weekend will be it!

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8478844
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HeHadADoubleLife ( member #68944) posted at 7:59 PM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

Coco, yessss get a tree! I too got the decorating bug early, and DD20 and I just had a decorating party at my apartment this past weekend with sparkling cider and Christmas music!

I grew up getting a real tree. XH already had a fake tree for him and the girls, so I didn't want to interrupt their tradition. It ended up growing into something that I liked, that we used the same tree every year. Felt kinda special.

I got myself a nice fake tree that is actually pretty realistic (spent a pretty penny on it, but am seeing it as an investment). And then I went to town on getting all brand new decorations. I did not take any of the holiday stuff when I left, so I decided to use the clean slate to invest in all new stuff that isn't tainted.

I got all glass ornaments, and light strings with big glass bulbs. A whole bunch of amazing glass christmas trees for the tables. Candles in glass containers. Anything gorgeous and breakable, I threw it in my cart - because guess who is not around to ruin all of it?? My apartment looks like a mercury glass factory exploded, and I love it!!

I'll try to upload photos if I can figure out imgur.

Anyway, I'm now sitting on the floor at the airport because not only has my flight been delayed 3 times already, but they just moved our gate to the one that for some reason has no seats. Airports are trigger city for me, so super fun that I've been here for 6 hours now and still haven't boarded my flight! By the time I land I will have spent 12 hours in the airport/in the air today. Lovely!!

But, on the bright side I've had so much time here that I got myself some duty free See's truffles and a cold brew coffee. Oh if younger HHADL could see me now - the crazy over-caffeinated lady who stuffs her face full of chocolate with tears inexplicably running down her face!

Good thing I give no fucks when people see me cry now. Yup, another gift infidelity gave me! Crying in public. And really, really pretty Christmas decorations.

BW
DDay Nov 2018
Many previous DDays due to his sex addiction

Hurt me with the truth, but don't comfort me with a lie.

Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.

posts: 830   ·   registered: Nov. 26th, 2018   ·   location: CA
id 8478990
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 8:08 PM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

HHADL - I was thinking I might hit up some clearance sales after Christmas and buy some new ones. I finally figured out the other day that part of the reason I had zero interest in tree/decorating this year is because I have so many ornaments that shitbag and I bought together. I can't bear to look at them.

I think I am going to get a cool fake tree and coordinating ornaments. I am thinking a teal tree, and buying making cool ornaments... Or maybe a black tree.

PS - died laughing at your go fuck yourself gift

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3145   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8478995
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HeHadADoubleLife ( member #68944) posted at 8:37 PM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

Omg, that would be so cool!

I’m not edgy enough to pull that off. In a way I’m glad I didn’t get any of the holiday stuff before I left - if I was in your position I would feel bad getting rid of them but also be triggered as hell by them. But I am sad about some of it - it was tradition for me to buy each of them a new ornament every year, so I’m bummed that he gets all the ones with special meaning.

DD20 was a big part of the reason why I decided to suck it up and decorate this year. As she and her dad are still barely on speaking terms, she wouldn’t be able to decorate with them. Plus it’s trigger city for her because of everything we went through last Christmas, so it was meant to make new memories so the holiday season wouldn’t be so tough. Apparently even decorating was a sob fest for them last year when finding my stocking, my ornaments etc. so it was good to start fresh!

BW
DDay Nov 2018
Many previous DDays due to his sex addiction

Hurt me with the truth, but don't comfort me with a lie.

Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.

posts: 830   ·   registered: Nov. 26th, 2018   ·   location: CA
id 8479004
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BigBlueEyes ( member #71441) posted at 8:51 PM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

Holy Mahoney,

I’m not gonna lie, I haven’t read up on everything I’ve missed (hot damn it’s a lot) so I’m just gonna take root here.

I’m not promising I’m here to stay but I will try 🤞

Life is sooooo hectic here atm, I don’t know where the time is going.

Between kids, GC, family & work commitments I find myself snatching time for me....don’t know how that happened 🤦‍♀️

On a side note...I can’t wait till Xmas, I only have Xmas day off but I get to spend it with all my babies under the same roof & my very special Daddio...20 of us 🤪😂🤪

For the first yr ever I’m not dreading it, I just have to get past the 15th of the month then it’s all lights, sparkles & glitter ahead.

🥂🍹🍾☕️🥛

For all of us womenz that rock 😘

Me- BW, 47
Multi Dday's,
DB A's x 2 BFF
Multi ONS's, Online shit.
Serial cheat, Abuser,
D 18.02.20
Stay strong, just because it’s hard today, doesn’t mean that next week it won’t get easier!!

posts: 674   ·   registered: Mar. 11th, 2019   ·   location: A tiny dot in a big 'ol World
id 8479009
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 9:48 PM on Saturday, December 7th, 2019

Ugh Amazon... Why must it tempt me so?

Forget teal - I am gonna buy a black tree and decorate it with feather boas as garland and iridescent crystals and skull ornaments! In my head it looks cool anyways

Yeah, I think I will not have much of an issue tossing the christmas stuff. Will be good to start fresh.

BBE - so glad you're doing well! You are missed around here!

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"Being weird is just a side effect of being awesome."– Unknown

posts: 3145   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8479023
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cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 1:07 AM on Sunday, December 8th, 2019

HHADL, that sounds fabulous!

Ellie, your tree sounds like it's going to look amazing! I saw those black trees.

I look for new ornaments every year. I've been having a hard time finding any I like for a while. They're all either too big or themed with something I don't want to put on my tree.

I grew up with a messy tree, random ornaments, nothing matched. That's how I like my tree. I think the color coordinated and themed trees are so pretty, but I can't bring myself to do it. I always go back to multicolored lights, silver garland, and a hodge podge of random ornaments.

BBE, good to hear from you. Glad you are keeping busy and looking forward to the holiday.

Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life

posts: 6899   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2014   ·   location: Virginia
id 8479086
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HeHadADoubleLife ( member #68944) posted at 1:45 AM on Sunday, December 8th, 2019

Damn Ellie, I wish I had taken a picture for you. One of the showrooms I frequent for work had a black tree and they put crystal tiaras and jewelry all over it instead of ornaments. Super cool.

I used to use my really fancy shoes as book ends on my book shelves... I figured it was a way to look at my nice fancy shoes and have them serve a purpose too. Maybe you should just go buy a bunch of jewelry you like instead of ornaments and then it can do double duty??

I bet there are some kickass crystal skull ornaments out there too!

BW
DDay Nov 2018
Many previous DDays due to his sex addiction

Hurt me with the truth, but don't comfort me with a lie.

Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.

posts: 830   ·   registered: Nov. 26th, 2018   ·   location: CA
id 8479096
Topic is Sleeping.
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