SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Well, I have IBS so farts and I have a very interesting relationship with one another

A Lady's Air

Perfect style!

Perfect hair!

But if she dares to make some air......

It's all undone

Her efforts wasted

Because of morsels

Politely tasted

Temptation for

A dish so rare

That in six hours

Would make that air

The age old choice

To eat or not

Has got her in

This anxious spot

At once she starts

Toward the door

Her dainty shoes

Click on the floor

And once outside

She sighs relief

As happy as

A clever thief

Spring flowers bloom

In colors fair

They do not mind

A lady's air

[This message edited by pureheartkit at 6:52 AM, March 28th (Thursday)]

Bwaaaa haaaa haaaa! Ya'll are slaying me.

Just because I started this damn thread doesn't mean I claim any ownership. I think the whole free for all thing is working rather well actually. I was actually referencing Robert's Rules to try and give up the floor...so I say rules schmules.

And I have zero qualifications necessary to even consider judging the gas-o-etry skills of our fine wordsmiths around here. (Actually if you knew what I really did for a living, but I digress...)

I say let it *all* out - express thyself!

(And if you manage to get Sisoon roped into something slightly silly that would be landmark indeed!)

Yeah well don't be too hard on yourself Dragonheart...

Dragon farts ARE legendary after all...

Ya I guess that's true. In the second DragonHeart movie when trying to teach the young dragon how to blow fire he ends up farting flames instead.

These poetic skills are so impressive. I grabbed this off the web -description of a good poem. I think you all rock the world around you. I did take a couple of liberties with the description.

What makes a good poem ?

1. A good poem must be well written with a concise and accurate use of language. The great advantage of poetry is that it can ENCAPSULATE9 in a little pook) ideas in the minimum of words.

2. A good poem should be able to LIFT the reader (off their chair) out of the ordinary and give glimpses of a more ILLUMINATING eye watering reality.

3. A mantric quality of language. Prose seeks to explain, poetry merely states. Good poetry is not an argument but convinces the reader through its own POWER (plenty of lift off here!!!).

4. A good poem should engage the HEART (I read this as FART) of the reader it should be more than mere intellectual cleverness (should leave an aftertaste).

5. Good poetry can offer hope (hope for RELIEF) from seemingly PAINFUL experience (for those surrounding the poet and for the poet if s/he withholds).

6. Poetry from the heart OF THE FART. Good poetry can never be faked – THAT’S RIGHT IT PREVAILS. There is a saying that a “poet is born not made” THEY MUST EXPRESS THEIR PRESSURIZED TALENTS FOR ALL TO HEAR AND “SEE”. Whether this is true or not writing poetry is not like learning to write by rote, THERE IS A NATURAL ABILITY that must be heard..

7. Good poetry is poetry that we can FEEL ( AND HEAR OH YEAH) and identify with. There does not seem a separation between poet and reader – LORDY I HOPE THERE IS A SEPARATION. The reader himself can feel a oneness with the poet – TRUE STATEMENT.

Great work folks.

PS. 2 boys... Very familiar with the wonder of farts.

[This message edited by Tallgirl at 11:48 AM, March 28th (Thursday)]

"Mom, can you help put these legos together?"

"Not right now sweetie, mommy's gotta tell here friends which one of their fart poems are best."

"Fart poems?"

"Yes, you could make one too..."

"Yay!"

"I want to be a fart poet when I grow up!"

Totally reading these to my son when I get home, just to see if get that reaction, NTV!

And yes, Ceph, the irony of hoping that learning what the word “schadenfreude” means will cheer you up, is indeed painful. But I’m glad it made you laugh anyway!

Soo... with lack of judges volunteering... i propose we put it to a vote!

Last call for entries!

Try for the wind! Er.....win

I see you there, trying to limit competition....

It's me.

Flerkens and kneazles, oh my! Anyone else have a kitty for their familiar? Though mine's a beautiful black witch kitty instead of one that looks like an apricot. Mmmm, apricots...

Trying to get the procrastinators to join in. We could make it a best out of either poem, or wild card like art or joke or gif or some such. Maybe get more entries.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Killer farts make you wanna be dead

Isn't that true?

so so bad... you win

Ta da. Is it dead? Do I win?

Nope sorry you just revived it lol

I think we should make see who is T/J champion lol

It ain't over till it's over!

My bad fart rhyme almost did it. 3 postless days.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

The thread was dead

Until steady posted - you!!!

Lol

[This message edited by Tallgirl at 4:02 AM, April 2nd (Tuesday)]

Rough week for me... Can't hardly distract myself enough to try and be light-hearted... Still trying to get those stores out but... Kinda have "writers block" in a way I guess...