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This is my favourite thread. I’pop on and know I will smile. I’ typically laugh out loud. So thanks for the fun and thanks for making this my favourite thread, even though you’re trying to kill it.

This is my favourite thread. I’pop on and know I will smile. I’ typically laugh out loud. So thanks for the fun and thanks for making this my favourite thread, even though you’re trying to kill it.

Yet another example of that schadenfreude word in action.

I guess this has become schadenfreude thread because it wasn't starting out intentionally as a "dumb way to die",I don't think, but it sure seems to have gotten that way!

Speaking of which... In order to make my own contribution of a dumb way for my good reputation on here to die, I realized that my particular offering of an image for the SI club members was rather sex-oriented and therefore possibly male-oriented in terms of its trauma inducing severity...(this is veiled humor, by the way, folks..)

Therefore, in honor of the feminine side of this equation, I will post this next image in order to stay politically correct or at least somewhat "balanced"...

By the way I'm hoping to avoid being seen as generalizing since it's virtually impossible to tell the gender of the individuals involved or even which one is actually the wayward and which one is the betrayed or which one is the spouse and which one is the AP. (Okay so maybe the pear-shaped, would-be/wannabe "heart recipient" has long eyelashes and is somewhat effeminate, but isn't that what women want a man to be like nowadays? ... The preceding interrogative statement is ALSO more veiled tongue-in-cheek humor, btw...)

[This message edited by Cephastion at 6:27 AM, March 27th (Wednesday)]

... Aaaaannnddd...

Having said all of that and then looking at my own post there on this thread...

I just noticed my own never-commented-on tagline directly beneath that very triggery cartoonish schadenfreude gif I just posted ...

No wonder people's Love is growing more cold and their hearts are being more guarded...

I guess it pays to not be an emotional organ donor or even a physical "organ loaner" if your picker is way off or out of calibration, and your heart or soul is connected to it like mine is...

You lost me there ceph. An you rephrase in the form of a fart joke?

Actually that's a test. If you can rephrase in the form of a fart joke I then plan to challenge you to a fart joke poetry competition on this very thread!

Oooh oooh oooh - a poetry contest. THAT will be sure to kill a thread.

Requesting a Spenserian sonnet please. An Ode on _______?

Haiku just seem too restrictive and short for NTV and Ceph to gloriously sing the praises of anything I would suspect.

And by anything you mean farts.

"Say 'Cheese'"... By Cephastion, commissioned by Chili Madame Chair and inspired by the odiferous odes, works, and writings of NTV:

Global warming

Butts-a-storming

Feel the thunder

Cut asunder

Peace and serendipit-ease.

Eyes are tearing

Noses searing

Rooms are clearing

All are fearing

Cheese cutting entities.

Chaos now reigning

Anarchy harranguing

All former order

Now warmer odor

As rise the cries for mercies

A smile appearing

With look endearing

Self satisfaction

To distraction

NTV says, "say, 'PLEASE'!"

"Cheese!"

[This message edited by Cephastion at 10:07 AM, March 27th (Wednesday)]

After reading that "moving piece", does anybody out there want to commission me to do their eulogy or write the epithet for their funeral, wake, cremation, burial service or headstone?

Perhaps a graduation ceremony or wedding?

Outstanding work. I snorted at my desk. GTG I should be earning my paycheck. :)

Wait wait wait. This competition isn't over! You can't go selling your poetry services like you've already won!

Well, you might have a point there NTV, but I got to admitit's kind of fun watching somebody else turn you green for a change instead of the other way around!

Besides, do you really think anyone can handle the both of us being in the same room and event together at the same time?

Apparently I remind another poster on another thread here in SI the last day or so of a nationally infamous mass shooter, it seems... Just because I've posted about feeling lied to and cheated by my fwwife at the wedding altar and numerous times thereafter!

I certainly wouldn't want you to be guilty by association

[This message edited by Cephastion at 10:36 AM, March 27th (Wednesday)]

I name this poem "Splat"

Behind a lonely house sat a man

Beside him, he placed a dish

The bait, the lure came from a can

The premium tuna fish

He chose a stray cat for his test

For eight days the smell cleared the town

Tectonic rear end apocalypse

Midbite for each it fell down

Eight lives were tested and eight found

Day nine some prayed he'd find heart

They knew the test failed by just the sound

The cat found life from a shart

And he did not test the cat again

Barely surviving embarrassment

~ fin ~

My submission:

Went to town lookin' for some fun,

Instead; I bought a honeybun.

Tasted great, filled my belly,

But on it's way out it was too smelly.

Got kicked out of the bar right away,

They didn't even care if I paid!

Well, that's my story not much else to say,

Pucker up

Squeeze them cheeks

Let loose and pray

Huh. We probably should have identified a judge first... wonder if sisoon will do it...

This is Chili Madame Chair's thread and therefore she should be the judge or she should delegate the judge or a panel of judges.

I suppose we could make nominations however.

[This message edited by Cephastion at 2:14 PM, March 27th (Wednesday)]

Well I just thought 'sisoon would probably hate this, how can we get him to do it?' But yeah you're right.

Chili!! We need terms and rules and impartial or semi-impartial or the faintest trace of the appearance of impartial judging!!

I heard sisoon and tallgirl volunteering to help if you need it!

wOw - I am LOVING the talent I'm seeing on this page here! Actually, I mean that seriously... I never thought an ode to farting could be so eloquent.

Bravo bravo bravissimo!

Well I suck at poetry but I have actually cleared a room with one of my farts...

Never thought I'd be proud of that until now.

Yeah well don't be too hard on yourself Dragonheart...

Dragon farts ARE legendary after all...