SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Ahhh yes. HB. That bug hit me hard [pun intended]. It was NOT a reward for WH. It was all about me. Frankly - he really didn't have to be there at all - I wouldn't have noticed if it were him or a quality apparatus. In that moment - when mind movies hit during HB I amped it up and made it all about me. Oh yes. I quite literally fucked Donut Whore out of my mind. If WH enjoyed this - whatever. Because I didn't give a fuck about him in that moment - I gave a big hard one [see what I did there] about ME and MY [ahem] "release" of her from my brain. The Brain of Chaos needs to be a Donut Whore free zone.

Now all that being said. I did suffer from Orgasmic Hangover. When the warm fuzzy triumphant glow subsided, I found myself weeping silently. I indulged in the cry. I needed to purge my system. If that happens - indulge it. A nice warm shower, soothing sup of coffee/tea, warm blanket and some tissues. The tears are just more purging of your system. If they happen to you, let them flow.

PS - dedicating the entire Holiday Weekend of toasts to Rashawnda! And wearing the hot pink cheeky undies that have sparkles on them. I think Rashawnda would approve. She might even wave that finger telling me to get on with my bad ass sparkly self. [In my head that's what she's saying] She's been upgraded to having her name in Bold - like one of us.

Edited because my fingers got ahead of my brain. Going for more coffee.

[This message edited by Chaos at 9:39 AM, August 31st (Saturday)]

C+5N - I totally saw that unicorn mug on FB the other day. But it was a choice between that one or a tanktop with a T-Rex on it that says "Don't be a c***asaurus". The tanktop won.

The HB thing hit me hard too. I just wish I had been one of the people that was so disgusted with him that I couldn't stomach the thought of it. Trying to let it go. But our sex-life pre-A was pretty abysmal. We hadn't done anything in that dept for 18 months before the HB stuff. Cus my idiot WH was "just not a very sexual person". Wot? Apparently he was, I just wasn't whore-ish enough or enough of a teenager for him. RME RME RME

Yes Rashawnda is just what I needed yesterday. I was preparing myself to have a really rough day, but she turned it around and put me in such a good mood. Probably won't last a super long time, but yesterday and today I have felt more like myself than I have in a long time. She was absolutely a gift to me from the universe and I will be forever grateful.

Happy fuckin Saturday ladies!

What's everyone up to today? I am going to dye my hair, steam clean my floors, and paint my nails. And drink a ton of coffee.

[This message edited by EllieKMAS at 10:47 AM, August 31st (Saturday)]

Gurl, we all fabulous! Not our fault that the mens are too dumb to see it.

Best line ever.

Is this what you're talking about?

[This message edited by gmc94 at 10:37 AM, August 31st, 2019 (Saturday)]

gmc - that is the mug I saw :) And I can't for the life of me figure out how to post pics or I would throw one up of the tanktop too cus it is great!

Yes, gmc! How did you do that?

I'm am sitting in the mall food court while my 15 year old son is shopping. I'm about to fall asleep. I am not a shopper. I'm hungry and thirsty, but I can't buy any food because he spent all of our money! 😄

Earlier today, I took a yoga class and did my Beachbody workout at home. My fch is home doing the laundry and cleaning the house. He might smoke a pork butt this weekend and make some eastern NC pulled pork BBQ. That's like the best food ever!

C+5N - this is what it says to do pics in the "how do I" section: PICTURES: In order to display an image within your post, the image must be hosted on a web server. There are several free hosting services for your images. Here are acouple that you can use: picturaltrail.com – photobucket.com

Once you have your image uploaded or you have found a picture on the internet you want to embed in your post, you can then post your image by right-clicking on your image and selecting "Properties", copying that Address (URL) and then pasting it with the at the end of the URL tags.

Example:

So it says, but I haven't been able to make that work yet.... (ETA, of course me copying that stuff and it did work this time, go figure.)

Pork butt - yummmmmm.

I got done what I set out to do today. Hair is re-purpled, carpets are steam cleaned, and my nails are drying right now - did OPI "Boys be thistle-ing at me" this week (hang around me long enough and you will see the depth of obsession that is my love of nail polish)

[This message edited by EllieKMAS at 8:02 PM, August 31st (Saturday)]

I use imgur to host photos for SI. I’m pretty sure photobucket is no more. I could not get it to work with google photos

It loooks like the imgur links only work on my pc- not iPhone or iPad 😕

But I may be missing something

[This message edited by gmc94 at 8:04 PM, August 31st, 2019 (Saturday)]

So it says, but I haven't been able to make that work

Yep, so it says. I have tried numerous hosting sites. It has not worked yet. Photobucket is no more. I've got Google, Amazon, and Imgur. There are others I can't remember. Maybe it's a PC vs. phone thing, although I tried getting the links from the websites rather than the apps. I don't have a PC. 😱

EllieKMAS if your love of nail polish is on a parallel to my love of sexy undies - this is going to be a fucking super fun thread.

Chaos, compare? Last count I am up to over 400 bottles of nail polish. I am actually scared to count exactly how many so that is an estimate just based on how many bottles I know one drawer holds.

I feel like I should have one of those boards with the numbers: "It has been ___ days since I have bought nail polish." It's a sickness...

[This message edited by EllieKMAS at 11:05 AM, September 1st (Sunday)]

Undies vs polish?

Coco-I think it is a phone vs pc thing. I couldn't get imgur to work on my phone or ipad, but it did work on the PC.

[This message edited by gmc94 at 11:29 AM, September 1st, 2019 (Sunday)]

So when you find an image on Google, right click on it (or with a mac, hold down the command button, then click) then select Open image in new tab... it will open the image as its own link, then copy that link and paste it. Also, you can always hit preview to see if it works before posting :)

ETA I have no fucking clue how to post an image from a phone

It doesn't necessarily have to be an image you found on Google... any image on a website, you should be able to open the image in its own tab. Sometimes this doesn't work, but the grand majority of the time I find that it does.

[This message edited by HeHadADoubleLife at 12:50 PM, September 1st (Sunday)]

Just testing out the image thing.... I think success, yes??

Why yes Jenna Marbles, yes we fucking are!

Ellie, did you do that from your phone or a PC?

C+5N - PC. I couldn't even begin trying to do that on my phone

I hate posting on my phone, so I read and then wait until I can get on my laptop, so I'm days back here...

SMS - Thank you for you posts. When I am low, hearing strong women who have come through the other side is so comforting to hear.

My whole week last week was just a series of down days. I'm slowly coming out today, but ugh. This rollercoaster is just such a shitty ride. We had an MC session on Friday and came home and had a very loud breakdown. I don't think either of us has yelled and cried that much. EVER. (He wasn't angrily yelling at me, that was me, and he was mostly crying and yelling about loving me and hating what he did.) Needless to say there was a shitload of adrenalin expended and I was EXHAUSTED. This mindfuck of adultery is just ridiculously hard.

So thanks y'all.

And thanks to those of you who answered my thread. I just want her to hurt. Not her BS. And I'm trying to tell myself that if he loves her and wants his family to work, he's no different from me. And I should be thankful that she's out of my life. IF her WH had left her, she'd probably still be working with WH and going after him full force.

On the upside, WH worked on the pre-nup today and his paperwork actually give me more than I was asking for. It sounds weird, but when he's willing to give up everything he's worked hard for (and his parents expected from him), it softens my heart a little bit. Like I wanted to hug him. Bastard.

I do wish a little bit that we had round 2 of hysterical bonding. I just did not like the sex last weekend. Making it all about me made me feel sad.

(((TX1995)))

I am sorry you are low lately. I feel like it is something in the air or something... a lot of folks seem to be havin a rough time right now.

And your feelings towards AP? Tame compared to mine I assure you

Hoping you and all of us have a better week this week!!

The conversation made me think of this image that my friend got on a tank top...

I'm glad to hear that it's not just me having all the feelz lately. Today has been blah. More and more I just want some time ALONE but work, kids, life.....

That mug cracked me up!

Bonus points to whoever can find one with Donut Whore on it in some fashion. Whole other level if it has glitter.

Yeah - that blah feeling is in the air. I didn't sleep a fucking wink last night. Just lay awake watching the clock wondering how WH could sleep and I am contemplating when the fuck this became my life.

I did have wine and chocolate so there is that.

PS - while I don't have near 400 sets of sexy undies - I do have a good 40 sexy panties, 20 sexy bras and a good dozen sexy bralettes and a shiny metallic bandeau. There is no ugly undies in the Land of Chaos. And since I've had my girlie parts removed [just weeks before DDay1] I don't even have the dreaded pile of "period panties" in the back anymore.

Let's not get me started on my make up collection.....

Oh boy - if we added all undies and make up items together - well...it may be a tie

I can’t even look at lingerie anymore, it’s a massive trigger for me... I used to go all out and get all sorts of good stuff. Once I even splurged on two full bra/panty/garter sets from the Victoria’s Secret runway collection, with the Swarovski rhinestones and everything! Set me back $600 or so. But then XH mutilated all of it sooooo I’ve got a bad taste in my mouth about it all. Too bad now walking into a VS triggers me so hard I start tearing up and also feel like I want to vomit. Also too bad that a big part of my job is shopping, so I’m surrounded by lingerie constantly. Surprisingly, when I see it at my actual work it’s not so bad, not great, but tolerable - but having to walk into the stores to actually buy it is triggery AF.

I wonder if I’ll ever be able to bring lingerie back into my life or if all future partners are only going to see my very reasonable cotton briefs. They’re comfy at least!

Just throwing it out there, on Etsy you can commission people to make almost anything custom for you... one of the fun perks of being married to me was that XH got highly personalized gifts for every birthday and Father’s Day. But since I don’t have him to spoil anymore, you ladies get the benefit of my knowledge!

So Chaos, a Dollars to Donut Whores mug might very well be in your future!

Also, anyone else’s WS terrible at giving gifts? It’s so weird, when he would get me things/make me things for absolutely no reason, they were mostly wonderful - books about tiny houses since he knew I wanted one, a bracelet he made at his factory out of old springs, pretty cool stuff. But for any birthday or holiday, it’s like he just lost the ability to think.

He would always tell me how hard I am to shop for - and I admit that I am, because I don’t really want a lot of things, and if I do want it, I save up and buy it for myself, I don’t want to get it from someone else. But I started making lists of what he can get me and even that didn’t work!

The last Xmas before the A, he asked me what I wanted, I gave him two specific things - 1 face wash/moisturizer set that I love but is expensive so I very rarely buy it for myself, and the other was a really nice shampoo that I love. Guess what I got instead? A lap desk to use in bed that he was able to order last minute on Amazon. A nice gesture, but it was too tall for me to actually write on, so was essentially utterly useless, and instead of returning it and getting me something else, he just gave it to my younger step daughter and that was that. No presents for me that year 👍🏼