SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Jack:

The fishing attempts will become more frequent and more urgent. Bank on it.

I am telling this to prepare you. When all else fails for her to get you back, she will rely on the one tool she has that has always worked on men: sex.

This is when she shows up at your door at 11 p.m. in a trench coat with nothing on underneath. You need to be at a point that you are strong enough to turn her away even then.

Steel yourself. It is coming.

This is when she shows up at your door at 11 p.m. in a trench coat with nothing on underneath.

That kinda of shit never happens to me.

But it wouldn't be hard to turn down once you allow the feeling of betrayal to settle in, no matter how naked, they just feel revolting.

We do need a good comeback line should this occur.

"Hey lady, I don't know what your selling, but no soliciting"

"Hey lady,that's nice, but where's my pizza."

"Oh boy, a singing telegram! Who put you up to this?"

...maybe not.

Not to threadjack, but when I was single some woman I know pulled that on me one morning before work.

I was late to work.

We do need a good comeback line should this occur.

"Hey lady, I don't know what your selling, but no soliciting"

"Hey lady,that's nice, but where's my pizza."

"Oh boy, a singing telegram! Who put you up to this?"

Nope, deleted it. Too risky.

[This message edited by thatbpguy at 11:41 AM, June 20th (Tuesday)]

Appreciate the comments all. I honestly think that her text message was the last I will hear from her. She is that out of touch with reality. I'm fine with it. I have no intention of communicating with her in the future. I don't, can't, have room in my life for horrible people. Enjoying the freedom from being bound to her.

Good attitude Jack!

Time to start searching for a decent woman, when you're ready.

T/J

That kinda of shit never happens to me.

....sorry, but that was funny; I don't care who you are!

End T/J

jack - you rock! IMHO, she will try contact again. But you seem quite prepared. It's funny...no matter how beautiful/handsome someone is...when they are evil, the ugly emanates from inside and out. If she did do the trenchcoat thing, I know you would have no problem rejecting her; actually, it would probably take great restraint to not vomit on her.

Keep on keepin' on, jack...

[This message edited by Lalagirl at 10:30 AM, June 21st (Wednesday)]

Thanks Lala et al. I'm in a good spot. In hind sight, and some tough talk from the closest of my friends, she was not all that to begin with. That whole good from afar, but far from good thing. A fake rack a good woman does not make. I was blind to it, probably because her up front game was on point.

So moving on, not quite ready to jump into another commitment today, but I am going to enjoy my new found freedom to have some fun! I'll still be a good guy, no games, I'll just make it clear up front where I am. Thanks again. Peace and love to you all...

Back to reality today and struggling with it. What she did just seemed so out of character and vicious. The "why" is really killing me today. Is that who she really was all along, laying in wait for the right moment to rip my heart out? Sucks...

That rollercoaster sucks, jack...but you'll get through it...let yourself feel your feelings. The bad feelings will become less frequent. We are here for you in good times and bad...

Sometimes there is no "why" - it just "is" - some people are very good at hiding their true selves. It takes nothing from your judge of character. She simply did what she did because she could. She lacks moral compass. She's someone else's problem now, jack.

Maybe it's time to hit the speed bag - let out some anger and sadness....

Strength to you!

Ditto the emotion roller coaster. Been there; done that; hated it. Keep strong; disconnect; disconnect; disconnect. Feeling bad for you. You'll get through this.

No contact was broken today. I ran into her and her daughter at some local 4th of July festivities. Her daughter ran up to me and didn't want to let me go. Told me how much she missed me and that she had something she made for me at home. I don't even know where that is anymore. Both WGF and I could hardly keep it together. Lips quivering, awkward words. I wasn't ready for that. We agreed to talk on Thursday. I don't know why. Painful doesn't even begin to describe the encounter.

Jack, it's a hard one. But one thing to consider: even though it is not nice to change you mind about your promises, you are not obliged to meet her on Thursday or any other day. If you gut tells you you should't give in – listen to it and send her a succinct message: "We are not meeting on Thursday, please don't contact me again".

I don't know what you gut and cold mind tell you, but please don't get trapped and be true to yourself.

[This message edited by wordsofwisdom at 5:45 PM, July 4th (Tuesday)]

Thanks wordsofwisdom. Little girl rocked my world today. She loves me and it's mutual. WGF can't change that. What has transpired can't change that love.

Jack, don't you want to write her a letter – an unsent letter in which you tell her about your love and possibly your struggle? Right now you don't know how things will evolve between you and this little girl. But if you have these written words of love – you can think of sending this letter to her when she is an adult who can comprehend your situation and appreciate this tender bond between her and you. I've read about similar stories in which people received letters from their deep past and these letters helped them to face life's challenges, because these letters gave them a tangible evidence of someone's love and trust in their bright destiny. Just sharing a thought and I can understand very well this disorientation you are in right now.

There have been a few text messages that have gone back and forth. She is in crisis, per her words. Said she doesn't know what is right for us. I don't doubt it. She messed up big time. I'm bunkered up at the moment. Holding the line. It was the worst day since dday. I'm going to sleep on a response, if any...

Stay strong Jack. Do what you feel is best for you. We can't live your life for you. Only you can decide what you need.

Whatever you do, take care of #1 at this time.

God bless brother!

Both WGF and I could hardly keep it together. Lips quivering, awkward words. I wasn't ready for that. We agreed to talk on Thursday. I don't know why. Painful doesn't even begin to describe the encounter.

From what you have written about her, meeting with her would be a mistake. NC= No new hurt. Might want to reread your whole threat before you respond to her messages. You are not going to get "closure" but are going to be in triple the pain a few hours after you meet.

If you meet with her you are going to be pulled into her crisis. Who knows... Maybe she can't make rent (without your help) or she has gotten herself into some other situation. You have a bit of a KISA complex and need to avoid this woman so you are not drawn into her problems. She has rich parents that can care for her and her daughter...she just doesn't want to deal with them.

You are never going to heal if you keep opening the wound. Are you truly considering Reconciling after a chance meeting?

I'm not considering anything right now other than moving on with my life. She may try to make that hard for me, i don't know. Yesterday was definitely tough. Still holding firm. Thank you for your insight.

jack,

This has been an unpleasant journey for you, but it is a journey none the less.

No-one here can make any big decisions for you. It is your life, and you will choose how to spend it. You can see the meeting on Thursday as a step in the journey towards closure and moving on with your life, or a step on the journey towards returning to the situation you initially posted about. It all depends on where you see yourself having the best chance of a happy future.

I know what I would tell you if you were my brother or a friend, but I also know how strong the emotions can be.

Sending you strength and good wishes, jack.