SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

What happened to her friend the chiropractor??

She should call him!

The struggle is real folks. Everything you read about cake, NPD, it's all true. The doors must be perpetually slammed shut on these people, unless you want a lifetime of continued pain and humiliation. I won't have much more to say going forward, but listen to these folks at SI and listen to them well.

I tried warning you a couple of pages ago.

She will escalate. You need all the strength you can muster to avoid the hoovering.

Stay strong, brother.

Jack, it takes time but you will eventually reach a mindset where nothing that she does will surprise you. Once you get to that point she can't hurt you as much, and if you can maintain a mature attitude beyond that you'll be well on your way to feeling indifference towards her, which is ultimately the mental state you want to achieve.

Remember, this thing is an emotional roller coaster. You have a sense of fairness, but they don't play fair. That in and of itself is a big part of the ride up and down.

Strength.

Dday #2 folks. Yep she is still at it and lying about it. Listen to your head and not your silly fools heart. Cried to me last night about her world is falling apart financially and how the loss of benefits really harmed her daughter. Tried to lay a guilt trip on me about it. Later, I did the old drive by to confirm what my gut was telling me. There it was, his car parked neatly next to hers in the driveway of her new place. (Plz no judging on the stalkerish behavior).

So that's it. I'm out. I'm glad a cracked the door open just a bit to see behind it. Now I know for sure. Thanks to all of you for all the kind support here. Moving day #2 tomorrow!

I'm sorry for you and her little girl.

You have been involved with a master manipulator.

Why would she come crying to you if Dr Chiropractor is still around? Makes NO sense.

At least you have closure on this relationship.

She will never ever change. She doesn't get it. She is a user of other people.

You will look back and thank your lucky stars you got out!

All the best to you.

One other thing...she was constantly tapping her foot or swinging it when her legs were crossed. Sure sign that someone has something on their mind. Usually something not so good.

This is from pages ago but I just have to say....NOT a sign of anything. I have anxiety and that's how it manifests itself sometimes, not sexual at all. Others I know have ADHD...another reason.

Your ex SHOULD have anxiety, given her actions.

And the only response (except crickets) to "my life is falling apart" and "you have harmed my DD". is "look in the mirror to see who's responsible for that."

And I want to second the letter idea, if there is some way to make sure she gets it at age 15 or 18 or whatever you choose.

My own dad died when I was 12 weeks old. My bff dad, from age 5, was very kind to me, but their M broke up when I was 9 and he moved away, of course my friend still saw him but I didn't. But I did go with her to visit him when I was 14, for the BiCentennial. It just sort of broke my heart to see him again. He sent my friend out on some errand and we had a talk where he basically told me he was sorry he had left my life, that I was like another daughter to him, that he thought about and prayed for me every day like he did his daughter. Told me I could call him collect every day if I wanted (which was a big deal then) if I ever needed a dad figure to talk to. We had a seriously awkward hug. 14 was a tough year for me.

I never called him (my mom would have been apalled at the expense, the man was not rich) and I never saw him again after that visit But those words made a big difference to me, and I am grateful to him. When he died 20 years later my friend was surprised I flew across the country to pay my respects. That was the first she knew about that conversation...as at 14 I think I understood she might not appreciate her dad caring for me as "another daughter". But at 35 it made her very happy to know another wonderful thing about her dad.

Sorry long winded...but decent male role models count for MORE when they are few and far between. (My mom didn't date until I was 14 so luckily no revolving door of men...she married the 3rd guy she dated but by then I was 22.) You will never regret showing kindness to the DD.

(Plz no judging on the stalkerish behavior).

You were correct to listen to you gut. It would have been pain shopping if your gut hadn't been speaking and you decided to drive by.

Get back on the NC train and put her in your rear view mirror.

latebloomer45 says it wonderfully.

I didn't catch how old the little girl is, hopefully she will remember you and your impact on her life, and it's sad to imagine what lies ahead for her without a responsible father figure, but that is mostly beyond your control from now on.

Stay strong and put some distance between you and her.

Little girl is four. I have the closure I sought and am currently at peace, for now anyway. I know there are pits of hell to come though. I'll just keep doing my best to get through them. No contact is my mantra. Thank you all for the love and support. This has meant the world to me during this bumpy time.

Jack,

Well done for staying strong, and sticking to your pathway out of infidelity here. His car was in her driveway? Well, let her be his problem.

One day, I am sure you will meet up with the little girl, and you will be able to explain things to her as one adult to another. She will understand.

For you, it is vital you get away from that women. She is toxic, and it is good that you know that. I am sorry for all the pain and turmoil you are going through.

All of us here send you strength, and our best wishes.

Jack, I echo everything that M1965 said.

I'm so sorry you had to go through another nasty hill on the rollercoaster.

Keep reaching out...we'll help you through.

All of this has brought me to the realization that in this world, some people are just really broken. I use to think I was broken due to a pretty dysfunctional upbringing. This woman had every advantage in the world growing up, and still could, if she wasn't such a basket case. How it happens when you come from such a good upbringing, I have no idea. Zero accountability with strong narc tendencies. This crapstorm has made me feel supremely well adjusted, all things considered. The last thing she said to me via text was, "I am so unstable without you." Really? Really? ReallY? Most honest thing she has ever uttered.

Did you ever turn in the quackopractor for billing fraud and to the state licensing board for the ethics of having sex with patients in a committed relationship?

Don't apologize or feel weird about the "light stalking" you have done. She's your wife for Christ's sake - you want to know where she is.

Detaching from your WW will be hard but millions of men are able to do it. Maintain no contact - strictly! That is your key. Lock yourself in a room without a phone if you have to but do not contact her for any reason. You will be surprised how quickly you begin to detach from her if you can only stay completely out of her life.

Thanks for the updates. Sometimes you need confirmation. Hopefully the drive-by gave you that. Take care of yourself.

Just to see how she would respond, send her a text that says: "Dropped by to see you and to talk but saw his car in the driveway so just kept going. Have him help you with the problems you told me about."

See how she replies. Would be interesting.

She knows I did the drive by. Her story is that she needed the money by him "renting" a room from her. Per her, dipshit chiropractor doesn't have a pot to piss in and was on the rent-a-room carousel down here. Guess that "rent" came with some benefits. Of course I didn't buy it. I told her I was appalled that she would subject her daughter to that. Nice upgrade. From loving, successful, grounded, executive leader... to that! Plus, as I have stated, I know my value as a man, as well as my appeal level to the opposite sex.

My theory is that she literally moved him in the next day after I moved out. Sheer madness has obviously ensued since my departure. Counting my lucky stars I never took her to the altar. Whatever, so be it. This must be the start of meh...

Moving into my downtown bachelor pad tomorrow. Starting over. Watch out ladies!

Oh and yeah I turned the little schmendrick into the state board. Who knows what came, or will come of it. I've put it behind me. He's obviously adult challenged. She's his problem now, or vice versa.

Thanks for the love y'all. Some special loving kind people here. Just brought me to tears thinking about all the love I have been shown...by absolute strangers. Loved by blessed souls that I don't know from Adam. More love than the one that was supposed to love me the most, which is clearly zero.

Special shout out for my girl Brentwood. She knows what she has done for me. Praying for you doll!

I got into my cups tonight folks. A lot of tears over losing my little family. I know this isn't on me. The pain still resides though. It's ferocious.